Logline 1: A man who cried because he couldn’t get a response.
Jay, 22 years old, opened the door and entered the house. He called out to his mother, but no one answered him. So he went to his mother’s room. When Jay walked to his mother’s room, he saw the picture and some lollipops on the table. Then he sat on the floor and cried. (The camera moves to the photo on the table. The picture shows Jay’s mother smiling with her oxygen mask and taking a self portrait with Jay.)
Logline 2: In the hospital ward, a women laughing and man crying.
Jay, 21 years old, and his mother, 51 years old, are in the hospital ward. Jay’s mother is sitting on the bed with an oxygen mask. Jay is bend over the bed crying. Jay’s mother took out a lollipop, poked Jay, said with a smile: “Hey take this lollipop otherwise we’ ll both be crying if it goes to waste. Ha! Ha! Ha!”
Logline 3: My lollipop can make people stop crying.
Jay, 4 years old, and his mother, 34 years old, were walking on the road in the park when Jay suddenly tripped over a stone on the road. Jay got up on the ground but he still and cried. His mother helped him up, but he was still crying. So his mother took a lollipop out of her bag and handed it to Jay. Jay took the lollipop and stopped crying.
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Hi, Yiqiang Wang
A man who cried because he couldn’t get a response.
This is a great idea to make a simple story to create an emotional film. Plus, the storyboard you create is helpful to take shots you wanted too, but you can create more different shots to execute which one is the best to use. Also I like the camera moves to the photo shows a picture self portrait Jay and his mother next to lollipops. Does Jay has a father? Did the father left both Jay and his mother? It’s has a great story like mother and son, how Jay took care his mother.
In the hospital ward, a women laughing and man crying.
The lollipop has memories with Jay’s mother has a deep connection loosing his own mother did she die with cancer if yes what kind of cancer was? Its hard to found a location to shot in the hospital also has monitors.What can you do to execute your idea the way that you want to? If you have access in this location and also required materials.
My lollipop can make people stop crying.
As the lollipop brings Jays childhood memories a mother who taking care her son like he was taking care his own mother. Im really looking forward to see your story. 🙂
Nicholas Vlassis
Hey YiQiang,
A man who cried because he couldn’t get a response.
Very strong and emotional story. I like how you get to see Jay cry first and then you get to see the picture with the lollipops, it leaves more questions to the story like, what happened to the mother? How did it get to this? Why is Jay by himself?
In the hospital ward, a women laughing and man crying
I like this it makes you feel warm inside. Here you have a mother who is in an oxygen mask and she’s with her son. Although one would normally feel upset or stressed during these times, like Jay, the mother sees it differently and cheers her own son up. It’s just something a mother would do, which makes this story so relatable and heartwarming. Because this is in a hospital setting, finding props might be a little hard. If you choose this story think about how you can make a the setting look and feel real.
My lollipop can make people stop crying
An important piece out of all three stories. I like how throughout these stories the mother and son relationship stays intact. As I said before, a lot of people can relate to these stories and because it’s about mother and son, it makes it more emotional. For this story, I like how you chose the park as a setting, it’s a place that every mother takes their son too. Maybe think of ways you can make the mom more protective like making sure Jay didn’t get hurt or asking him if he’s okay, and then she offers the lollipop.
By the way, really enjoyed your storyboards. It made the stories easier to understand, good luck!