The abandonment I felt as I watched my parents leave and left me with the translator. Feeling hopeless and nervous I asked, “Where are we going and what time will my parent pick me up?” She said, “Your parent will pick you up at 2 pm, and you will go to your classroom.” Before I walked into the classroom, I took a deep breath and told myself “I got this.” The room had far fewer people than I expected there were only ten kids like me who had been placed ESL (English as Second Language) classroom but there was not a single Asian in there. I sat at the table where there was no one. Later the teacher assigned everyone’s work and sat next to me, and I started to feel nervous and scared, unsure of what she wanted from me.
She said, “Hello, Yue, I will be teaching you the basic English.”
I did not know much English and was not sure what she said, and my anxiety started to build up slowly I nervously replied “Hen-lo” trying to say hello back in my limited English. She started to ask me to repeat after her saying words like “eyes”, “smell” and “brain,” however the words ended up sounding like “e-yes,” “smel,” and “bran.” I could not identify if I said it correctly or not but to me it sounded like exactly what she said. Later, she would walk away to help other kids and told me to keep trying. I kept repeating the words, “ey-es,” “smel,” and “bran” I was feeling excited as I thought I was saying the words correctly.
During class activities, I was handed a paper, where I had to write my name and what I like to do. For my name, I wrote “Yu” remembering what my teacher said to me at the beginning. Then, I was not sure what to do and waited for the teacher to collect the paper. I felt stressed and tired because I was the only Asian in the classroom. I can hear kids looking at me constantly and laughing. I was not sure if it was my appearance or was it my broken English when I was practicing. I found myself looking down at the table and the clock. I was praying for the class to end.
Ok — good scene!
I have a few suggestions here:
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The abandonment I felt as I watched my parents leave [cut — and left —cut] me with the translator[. — FRAGMENT Fix by adding — was making my stomach turn upside down.] Feeling hopeless and nervous I asked, “Where are we going and what time will my parent pick me up?”
She said, “Your parent will pick you up at 2 pm, and you will go to your classroom.”
Before I walked into the classroom, I took a deep breath and told myself [comma]“I got this.”
The room had far fewer people than I expected there were only ten kids like me who had been placed ESL (English as Second Language) classroom but there was not a single Asian in there [run on – RO sentence]. CSD – WHAT were the stident ethnicities you saw? I sat at the table where there was no one.
Later the teacher [NAME?] assigned everyone’s work and sat next to me, and I started to feel nervous and scared, unsure of what she wanted from me. She said, “Hello, Yue, I will be teaching you the basic English.”
I did not know much English and was not sure what she said, and my anxiety started to build up slowly I nervously replied “Hen-lo” trying to say hello back in my limited English.
She started to ask me to repeat after her saying words like “eyes”, “smell” and “brain,” [RO – Fix by inserting FULL STOP PERIOD] however the words ended up sounding like “e-yes,” “smel,” and “bran.” I could not identify if I said it correctly or not but to me it sounded like exactly what she said.
Later, she would walk away to help other kids and told me to keep trying. I kept repeating the words, “ey-es,” “smel,” and “bran” I was feeling excited as I thought I was saying the words correctly.
During class activities, I was handed a paper, where I had to write my name and what I like to do. For my name, I wrote “Yu” remembering what my teacher said to me at the beginning. Then, I was not sure what to do and waited for the teacher to collect the paper. I felt stressed and tired because I was the only Asian in the classroom. I can [PAST TENSE] hear kids looking at me constantly and laughing. I was not sure if it was my appearance or was it my broken English when I was practicing. I found myself looking down at the table and the clock [cut — . I was – cut] praying for the class to end.