“Remember, Johnny, there are three rules in life. The first one is to never learn from your own mistakes. The second one is to always surround yourself with people you eventually want to become. Finally, and this is most important, there is no definitive path in life. The only thing that matters is how you carve it and how you let your tools work for you.”
– Micheal Kayumov, My uncle
Growing up in a poor immigrant family, one could say I started with nothing, and at times, I even believed my circumstances would inevitably lead to a similar end. The person who lifted me out of that mindset and gave my family hope was my uncle, Michael Kayumov. He is someone I look up to above everyone else and to whom I am beholden. While the rest of my family was working tirelessly to make ends meet, he decided to take a risk and start a business in luxury consignment. Saving up money, he invested in used luxury bags, sneakers, and electronics. He would then refurbish them himself and sell them at a higher price to turn a profit. Initially, the money came in slowly, but as he found his rhythm in this new market, we began to see a significant improvement in our finances. He basically single-handedly dragged our family out of poverty and built something from it. Today, my uncle owns three companies under a conglomerate: We buy Goods, Mr. Goods, and Closet X.
My uncle never left me wanting after that. He did everything in his power to make my rough childhood a good one. He often took me places and got me gifts, however, my fondest memories were of my uncle and me sitting on the couch, playing on our PS2, making jokes, and laughing. When my dad left, he stayed by my side and took it upon himself to raise me; he got me through my toughest times and was basically my only friend and father for most of my life.
My life changed forever one day when I was in middle school. I still remember that day. It was April, and I had gotten into a pretty bad fight. Some kid made reference to my biological father, and I lost it. I was suspended from school, and my uncle was the one to pick me up. He took me into his Mercedes Benz and screamed at me. He then collected himself and told me, ‘I know it can be hard at times, but if you want to be powerful, you have to carry yourself better. Remember, Johnny, there are three rules in life. The first one is to never learn from your own mistakes, learn from the mistakes of others around you. You have to be observant and can never afford to make mistakes in the first place. The second one is to always surround yourself with people you eventually want to become. Make powerful friends because you’ll be grateful to have them when you need them. Finally, and this is most important, there is no definitive path in life. The only thing that matters is how you carve it and how you let your tools work for you. Don’t ever let others tell you how to live or what you can or can’t do. The only one responsible for your own mistakes and achievements is you and you alone. Take my advice, and I know you’ll be a great man one day.’ He wrote this down as he spoke. I currently have the paper framed on my wall.
Since then, my uncle did everything he could to give me as many opportunities as possible. He got me my first MIDI set to make music, enrolled me in a private programming boot camp and online courses because I wanted to do programming, and was even instrumental in helping me get my position at Meta.
your uncle is a great inspiration!!
Here are some editing ideas I have for this piece:
“Remember, Johnny, there are three rules in life. The first one is to never learn from your own mistakes. The second one is to always surround yourself with people you eventually want to become. Finally, and this is most important, there is no definitive path in life. The only thing that matters is how you carve it and how you let your tools work for you.”
– Micheal Kayumov, My uncle
This quote from my Uncle Michael is framed and hangs on my bedroom[CSD needed] wall.
My life changed forever one day when I was in middle school. I still remember that day. It was April, and I had gotten into a pretty bad fight. Some kid made reference to my biological father, [WHAT were exact words?] and I lost it. WHAT did you do? SHOW me that fist fight or rough and tumble on the ground fight – Create theatre of the mind].
I was suspended from school, and my uncle was the one to pick me up. [CSD needed – what does Uncle Michael look like? WHAT did you look like – crying? Bloody?]. He took me into his Mercedes Benz and screamed at me. He then collected himself and told me, ‘I know it can be hard at times, but if you want to be powerful, you have to carry yourself better. Remember, Johnny, there are three rules in life. The first one is to never learn from your own mistakes, learn from the mistakes of others around you. You have to be observant and can never afford to make mistakes in the first place. The second one is to always surround yourself with people you eventually want to become. Make powerful friends because you’ll be grateful to have them when you need them. Finally, and this is most important, there is no definitive path in life. The only thing that matters is how you carve it and how you let your tools work for you. Don’t ever let others tell you how to live or what you can or can’t do. The only one responsible for your own mistakes and achievements is you and you alone. Take my advice, and I know you’ll be a great man one day.’
Growing up in a poor immigrant family, one could say I started with nothing, and at times, I even believed my circumstances [WHAT circumstances? CSD needed] would inevitably lead to a similar end [poverty? Or something else – CSD!] The person who lifted me out of that mindset and gave my family hope was my uncle, Michael Kayumov. He is someone I look up to above everyone else and to whom I am beholden. While the rest of my family was working tirelessly to make ends meet, he decided to take a risk and start a business in luxury consignment. Saving up money, he invested in used luxury bags, sneakers, and electronics. He would then refurbish them himself and sell them at a higher price to turn a profit. Initially, the money came in slowly, but as he found his rhythm in this new market, we began to see a significant improvement in our finances. He basically single-handedly dragged our family out of poverty and built something from it. Today, my uncle owns three companies under a conglomerate: We buy Goods, Mr. Goods, and Closet X.
My uncle never left me wanting after that. He did everything in his power to make my rough childhood a good one. [move up–] When my dad left, Uncle Michael stayed by my side and took it upon himself to raise me; he got me through my toughest times and was basically my only friend and father for most of my life.
He often took me places and got me gifts. [is there a specific event of a trip with Uncle?] , however, my fondest memories were of my uncle and me sitting on the couch [Could this become a scene with CSD], playing on our PS2, making jokes, and laughing.
Since then, my uncle did everything he could to give me as many opportunities as possible. He got me my first MIDI set to make music, enrolled me in a private programming boot camp and online courses because I wanted to do programming and was even instrumental in helping me get my position at Meta. [ONE of these could be developed into a bigger part: Cool that you work at Meta – Is this something you can build up with more CSD or make it a scene—Meta is such a famous company, this would be an interesting part of your story— Could be an ending scene of the success that your Uncle has helped you to achieve. SHOW me you today working at Meta – Where? WHAT does is this job? What do you do? CSD. Then show that your job at Meta is all due to your Uncle’s influence.]
THINK: What is the MI main idea or Focus of your story?
My Uncle is my mentor and has been like a father to me.
Would that be the MI?
Then think of the events that would make your story move forward to the ending part where you land a job at Meta!
Thank you for your advice Professor, I will be sure to implement them onto my next draft.