“The mistakes you’ve made in the past doesn’t define how your life will look in the future. Your trauma doesn’t define you. Overcome it and be the person you’ve always wanted to be” said by my girl. It was one of those chilly fall morning, the air was crisp I could feel the cold air crawl up my skin. I had just stepped out the F train at 5:45am, walking over to the warehouse where I worked in Coney Island. I could smell the cigarette smoke from a block away, I knew it was the manger taking his one of many smoke breaks. “What’s up cuzzo”, my friend said you ready for work”. Of course,” I replied.
For some reason I couldn’t shake what my girl said to me, and it would replay in my head every morning. When she said this to me, we were sitting down in her dorm talking about our goals and what we want for this year. I was saying how I want to do good in boxing, and how I want my life to be better than it was in the past two struggling years. She asked me if I was ready to go to school in the spring semester, and I shrugged my shoulders and said I might take a gap year. That’s when she replied, “The mistakes you’ve made in the past doesn’t define how your life will look in the future. Your trauma doesn’t define you. Overcome It and be the person you’ve always wanted to be”. It stuck in my head for months; even when I was working my two Jobs, I would constantly think about what she said. Then one time I was boxing, and my trainer had said to me, “the money will always be there”, go to school, and get it done.” That’s when I knew I had to make a change. Later that day I would tell my girl I wanted to go to school in the spring semester, and the rest is history. We went to the city tech open house, I found that I actually do have a love for school. I choose to major in Civil engineering. What my girl and boxing trainer said really gave me the drive to continue school and do the best I can possibly do. Everyday I think about what they said to me, and it gives me the motivation to put in the work inside and outside of the classroom.
Aww this is so cute and heartwarming, I’m so glad that your girlfriend inspired you to go to school. I know it must’ve been hard deciding on what you wanna do for the rest of your life. I almost took a gap year too because I was concerned with finances. I’m glad there other people who embarked on their journey in education, instead of waiting. Is this your first semester?
I found this retable. After all, I was always stuck in my head when it came to certain situations because I lost people for what I did and what I said, which I regret to this day. I was always overthinking or scared because I didn’t know what to do. I never really had anyone like you; I had to learn how to deal with it. Sometimes, making myself busy or even playing it off school would get tiring. But I’m happy that you found someone to help you and, more so, guide you in life. I hope you continue the good work and to see you in a boxing match one day ! I’ll be rooting for you man
This is the seed of a nice story! You do a good job creating a scene — yayy!
What is the focus of this story: How words of your girlfriend encouraged you to get back to school? What events could tell this story and what events would move this story forward.
Is your girlfriend [NAME] already in college? After high school WHAT job were you doing? Describe that job (or those two jobs). Were you thinking about school at all? Were your co-workers (older than you?) and telling you to go to return to the school path? Is there a scene in your memory of you at the boxing gym and you getting encouraging words from the coach about returning to school?
SHOW me the scene of open house at City TEch and the positive things you saw and experienced there that day.
MAKE AN OUTLINE.
I. INTRO — Start with mentor quote from girlfriend and early morning scene. Good opening scene you wrote here.
II. Can you flash back to a scene of highschool life and mistakes you were making in high school. YOu mention mistakes. OK now give details and SHOW me the trouble you were in.
IIII. The job and time off from school.
III.
IV
V where does your story end? Possibly — Open House at City tech and postiive things you saw and experienced that day?
Good job Ethan! This is an excellent start using the Mentor Quote writing prompt. Great details — the smoke from cigarette, the crisp air.
I am curious to know what the Coney Island warehouse job was like.
I am curious to know what the boxing gym was like. I am thinking of the movie Rocky! Maybe I am dating myself here, haha.
I am curious to know what words or experiences or SCENES you can show me that show that your time off from school really — told you to return to school!