“We got to talk after class…” I feel like we’ve all had this said to us before and it’s never a good talk. One day I was in my college comp class my senior year of High School and I was just eating my breakfast watching Tik Toks. My teacher comes up to me and tells me “We got to talk after class…” with a face of disappointment, I respond back “Ok sure what’s wrong?” Now I’m a little slow but I’m not that dumb I know what he wants to talk about but I just want to prepare myself and think about what I could say, the lies I could come up with. Class ends and I stay at my desk till my teacher comes up to me, he walks up to me and slowly pulls the chair in front of me towards him to sit down as well. He tells me “I’m not going to sugar coat nothing I’m going to treat you like as if you were my son. You’re failing and not just one class but all three of my classes.” I should add I had three classes with this teacher, Statistics, College Comp, and health class. I’m over here trying to come up with some excuses, eventually I do and I tell him ” I have work Sunday through Thursday and I don’t get home until 11.” My teacher looks very disappointed with a frown on his face and he looks down. He tells me “Ask for less hours or quit because your education should always come first.” He then proceeds to tell me something I will never forget. ” How are your friends who don’t care about their school work and skip class in the bathroom, show up late to school passing and you’re not? You’re here in class but you’re the one that’s failing?” I felt so dumb and disappointed in myself when I heard that. I didn’t say a word I just stayed quiet with my head down. I realized that day that I have been hanging around the wrong crowd, I thought it was “cool” to not do my work and hang out with them. With these thoughts running through my head my teacher looks up again and walks away from the desk, I pick up my head one minute later and I see him in front of me with a bunch of papers, he hands me the papers and tells me that it’s all I need to at least get a 70 in all classes. I thank him. I get up to walk out the class and go to lunch, before i get the chance to walk out the classroom he says “please do the work this is your last chance to do it, I want to see you walk across that stage in 2 months.” I tell him ” You got my word I’m going to start doing my work and showing up mentally as well.” From that day I devoted myself to get work done even if it means I lose sleep at night.
Arturo – good start!
1. Work on paragraph breaks, 2. verb tense should be PAST tense, 3. sentence errors Avoid Run-ons
“We got to talk after class.”
I feel like we’ve all had this said to us before and it’s never a good talk.
[Make Paragraph Breaks. ALSO here I made some cuts and moved around parts] It was my senior year of High School and I was in my College Comp class. I was just eating my breakfast [WHAT was the food? CSD needed] watching Tik Toks [clarify — you were doing this during class?]. My teacher [NAME need CSD] comes up to me and tells me, “We got to talk after class.” I noticed his face of disappointment.
I respond[ed –verb tense=past] back “Ok sure what’s wrong?”
Now I’m a little slow but I’m not that dumb I know what he wants to talk about but I just want to prepare myself and think about what I could say, the lies I could come up with [good detail! FIX sentence error RUN ON]. Class ends and I stay at my desk till my teacher comes up to me, he walks up to me and slowly pulls the chair in front of me towards him to sit down as well.
He tells me “I’m not going to sugar coat nothing I’m going to treat you like as if you were my son. You’re failing and not just one class but all three of my classes.” I should add I had three classes with this teacher [name], Statistics, College Comp, and health class.
I’m over here trying to come up with some excuses, eventually I do and I tell him ” I have work Sunday through Thursday and I don’t get home until 11.”
My teacher looks very disappointed with a frown on his face and he looks down. He tells me “Ask for less hours or quit because your education should always come first.” He then proceeds to tell me something I will never forget. ” How are your friends who don’t care about their school work and skip class in the bathroom, show up late to school passing and you’re not? You’re here in class but you’re the one that’s failing?”
I felt so dumb and disappointed in myself when I heard that. I didn’t say a word I just stayed quiet with my head down. I realized that day that I have been hanging around the wrong crowd, I thought it was “cool” to not do my work and hang out with them. With these thoughts running through my head my teacher looks up again and walks away from the desk, I pick up my head one minute later and I see him in front of me with a bunch of papers, he hands me the papers and tells me that it’s all I need to at least get a 70 in all classes. I thank him. I get up to walk out the class and go to lunch, before i get the chance to walk out the classroom he says “please do the work this is your last chance to do it, I want to see you walk across that stage in 2 months.”
I tell him ” You got my word I’m going to start doing my work and showing up mentally as well.” From that day I devoted myself to get work done even if it means I lose sleep at night.
NOW – Make an outline of the events that will move this story forward from the time Mr. Teacher said these words and your transformation into a more serious student.
1. Did you change your friendgroup?
2. Did you join a tutoring after class group?
3. WHAT ARE THE EVENTS or STEPS that led you to graduation?