Considering the five elements we talked about today in class (beginnings, detail, dialogue, transitions, endings), which do you see as a strength in your draft? Which do you feel like needs more work? For both, explain why.
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Course Description: A course in effective essay writing and basic research techniques including use of the library. Demanding readings assigned for classroom discussion and as a basis for essay writing
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New York City College of Technology, C.U.N.Y
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What I see that is strong within my draft is the amount of detail, and the beginnings with the transitions going to present day. The reason why I feel that these things are the strongest within my draft is because I have shown that one time in present day, I was thinking about the change that I had in education then I transitioned it to when I was learning education when I was a little kid. Then, I placed my story in sequential order, and it allowed me to go through each time within my life to view each change that happened to me. I would say that I would need to work on dialogue mainly due to the fact that I did not add any to my narrative.
I feel like detail is a big strength in my draft because In order to see the story of my narrative the measure of detail I have in order to tell my story plays a big part. I feel like I need to work on transition because it will help summarize most the things I will be trying to say.
I personally really like my beginning. I think it really helps expresses my cluelessness of my future during my life. I think dialogue and transitions are a bit difficult to include in my essay, and my conclusion is currently nonexistent. Besides the conclusion though, I lack the most in details. I just can’t remember the physical things around me in my past, I can only remember the events that happened. If I want to add details to my essay, I might have to make things up because I can’t fill it in with my own memory.
From what I can see in my draft, the strong points lie in the details and the introduction. I did not incorporate a lot of external dialogue, and I believe dialogue was used effectively. However, I feel that the endings require more strength, as I have always found them challenging to form, as towards the end you can be more focused on finishing the story than telling it, at least in my personal experience.
Considering the five elements that we talked about in class (beginnings, details, dialogues, transitions, and endings) I see the beginning & the details being the strongest elements in my essay because that’s what I’m really good at. I can give out great details & start off with a nice introduction for the reader to read. However, it would be the transitions and the dialogue that I would struggle in a little bit because trying to help make things flow & go at ease in my essay can be hard sometimes. & those would be the two things that needs more work.
Looking back at my draft, what hinders it the most is the transitioning from one part to the other, in this case, from one class to another. Rereading it just makes it sound like it was rushed and there was no detail based on what I experienced during my first day in high school and what I expected and didn’t expect for the whole day. The beginning where I describe myself and how I felt before entering my first class was where I found my strength in, describing the day, the backround, the way I dressed compared to everyone else and my body language shattering and immovable.
I have a lot of dialogue in my draft and I see that as a strength because you get to understand better why I felt the way I felt and how people acted towards me. I need to work on transitions and details because I feel like I could go into depth with the description of things and transition my paragraphs instead of using and or I.
One of the elements that I see as a strength in my draft is details and transitions, it makes my story more understandable to the reader. Managing to allow the readers to use their imagination to navigate through my story. Transitions are a major effect on my story as my story it’s being told in a sequence. One of the elements I would like to improve towards my story it’s dialogue and endings, I feel like towards the ending I get carried away and probably repeat myself too much, and probably not knocking how or when to use dialogue in my story.
A strength in my draft is beginnings, I know how to start off a section and speak about what the section is but my weakness is details sometimes I feel like I’m adding too much which makes it feel like I’m blabbering but to improve on it I’m going to add just certain specific details which support the topic. Just how In the passage each detail supports each other, without the sentence before the one after wouldn’t make sense.
something I realized because my story was so long ago its hard to remember some important detail like what I was smelling or some of the other stuff we did from the exercises we did a little while ago. but something that I did well was my beginning introduction was pretty good and even though I couldn’t include some important detail like what I was smelling I made up for it in other things like describing setting and the emotions at the time
A strength in my draft is probably that it is really close to the way I think and talk, which makes it easier for me to write, and maybe for the reader to understand the type of person that I am. The whole draft needs more work, since I’m not done with it yet. Maybe I am going on tangents and describing and talking about things that don’t really add anything to the story.
My essay has a strong introductory paragraph because I discuss myself and what education means to me. Also, I provide details of my childhood and my upbringing. A struggle I have in my essay is transitioning because I tend to just jump from topic to topic without really explaining or connecting the dots.
A strength in my draft that I had is that like the girl in the story is that I gave backup information and tried to give the reader and picture of what I am talking about. I gave good details of certain moments in my story
Considering the 5 elements that we talked about in class, from my point of view my strongest point would be the details since I consider that I put as much detail as possible so that the reader understands my situation at that moment, so I consider this to be my strong point. strong. I think my weakest element would be the dialogues since I haven’t written any yet and I don’t think I will use them in this work. I think I need to work more on the transitions since they are difficult for me to make and they are not as fluid as I would like.
A strength in my draft is my detail since I know how to be very detailed in situations and I think it helps the listener to be more informed on what is going on. I think the details help shape the whole story and why certain events are happening. I add a lot of details that sometimes are unnecessary but it helps the listener feel like they are in that situation.
I need more work in dialogue since I don’t know how to express how specifically it was said. Since the way that people sometimes say things, it impacts the story to show how the person is feeling. It can be difficult sometimes since I start to overthink what exactly they said and the tone they said it. Don’t want to put the wrong words people are saying since it can impact the way the person is viewed. Can change the situation overall point.
One of my strengths in my draft is detail. I say this because when someone reads my story, the details help the reader to imagine the specific scene I’m talking about. Something I feel needs more work is my transitions. I say this because I noticed that I have trouble correctly transitioning into another scene.