https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-1tzXFpd-Mn28uD6yWrzY1jZjHk2VAge6omVDJHet6c/edit?usp=sharing
About
Professor: Dr. Garcia
Email: RGarcia@citytech.cuny.edu
Office hours: Tuesday 1:00 – 2:00 p.m. (Zoom); Wednesday 1:45 – 2:45 p.m (in-person, N503); & by appointment
Office hours Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82681418891?pwd=S0Y5V2k4U1dXVUZNczlMcHpMSUFwdz09
Course Description: This is a course in effective essay writing and basic research techniques including use of the library. Demanding readings are assigned for classroom discussion and as a basis for essay writing
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Ursula C. Schwerin Library
New York City College of Technology, C.U.N.Y
300 Jay Street, Library Building - 4th Floor
Acknowledgments
This course is based on the following course(s):
Alex, You need to change the document so that anyone with the link can edit. But since I can not put feedback in the document, here are some thoughts:
Your first paragraph is not necessary. You don’t need to tell me about your story. Instead, just tell the story.
In terms of the second paragraph, the information is definitely important because it sets up the situation you were in, but think about the order of the information and make sure all ideas are complete and that one thought leads to another. Then, I think you need start a new paragraph and spend some time explaining what made you look up and look in the mirror.
For the third paragraph, I would recommend spending some time detailing your process of change–think of Malcolm X as a model. Give details about your first day and tell of what you thought and how you felt.
Also you keep mentioning not being supported? Can you develop that and think about where in the order of your story it goes?
Why did your physical change lead you to make other changes?