Hijab (Revised)
It was about 7 a.m. on a Monday morning. I had to leave for school in a bit, but I was distracted by my reflection in the mirror. There was a long, cotton covering wrapped around my head to my shoulders, leaving only my face behind. I looked different. I felt different. I wondered what my peers would think of me, and I wondered if they would feel the difference too. I wondered if it was going to be a good difference. The hijab had changed something in the way I perceived myself. I knew that from then on, it would become a great part of my identity.
What does the word Hijab really mean? In Arabic, it simply means ‘to veil’ or ‘to cover’. In Islam, it is largely used to discuss modesty. A man practicing Islam’s teachings can observe hijab by dressing humbly, although this is not well known due to what I can presume is bias and a blindness to the truth. Within our community, the word Hijab has a positive connotation. Beyond our circles, however, the hijab is seen as a symbol of violence and oppression.
For many Muslim women, the hijab rests in the deepest shade of our souls. We design the hijab as we see fit, ranging from the most intricate designs to painting it with the simplest hues. There are different styles and head pieces that are in accordance with what Islam teaches. We are the only ones that have this connection to the hijab. It is because of this bond that when we see and hear the word Hijab, we ultimately think of ourselves.
As a Muslim woman, wearing the hijab in public exposes your religious status. For this reason, it is in the core of our community. But in this day and age, the media has pushed the dangerous agenda that Muslim women are feeble and need some serious rescuing, all because of what we wear on our heads.
This promoted belief has generated many years of hardship and affliction for us that Muslim men cannot experience. Donning the hijab is mandatory, but it is not something that we, as Muslim women, oppose. We acknowledge our obligations, and accept them without ill feelings. It is mainly the inexperience and lack of empathy from Muslim men that drifts us away from complete unity. They are not sensitive as to why some women have hesitancy towards the Hijab, so their lectures and preachings are hard for us to hear. The word is light on their tongues, as if it carries no weight. .
Upon wearing the hijab for the first time, I felt the true force of the conflict. There were teachers that looked at me strangely as I walked the hallways and there were people that told me I was not welcome, that I shouldn’t expect an ounce of respect from anyone around me. Before that, I did not know what it felt like to be perceived as something less than what I am, and I did not know what it felt like to not have your very being considered.
It was a great shame to find out that these experiences did not go unshared. By exploring the community further, I found that there were many like me, and many who faced the much more violent side of things. These experiences changed my notion on what the hijab was and what it stood for. Was it an open invitation to be harassed and ridiculed?
Living in a non Muslim country and engaging with Muslim communities on the daily exposes me to these two standpoints. It is these conflicting standpoints that led me to question my identity and whether hijab was good for me or not. Finding a common ground was suddenly something I had to do, for the sake of the communities I belonged to, and for myself. The word hijab now meant I should take accountability for something that was happening to me, and others alike.
As a result of such extreme and opposing outlooks from Muslim men and from non Muslims, it became hard for Muslim women to understand what the word Hijab means to themselves.
It is clear we are not being respected by either party. To us, it seems barmy and inane. Why can we not lead conversation on the word hijab, when it is Muslim women who have created a connection to it over hundreds of years? When, we are the only ones that know what it’s like to be between one conflicting demand and another?
In our eyes, it is our word.
It is our word because Muslim women will not hide the fact that the hijab can be used to oppress. That there are Muslim women who have an uncomfortable connection to the hijab because of such oppression. But it is a connection nonetheless. These women are the only ones to know how it really feels to have the hijab used against you, therefore only they have authenticity on the matter.
It is our word because these maltreated Muslim women will still acknowledge that there are Muslim women who have chosen to wear the hijab. That there are some of us who have fully embraced donning it on our heads despite the anti-hijab agendas, and that we wear it proudly.
As far as we are concerned, we have full authority over it. It is not reasonable for any other group to have such strong views on what they can not experience. We, as Muslim women, are endorsing the idea that it is much more rational and sensible to support us in our endeavors regarding hijab, no matter what they may be.
To the people that have never worn the hijab nor have experienced both sides, we need them to realize that we are in the middle of it. That the word Hijab carries a lot of weight. But that weight can not be felt by anyone that hasn’t experienced both ends of the scale. We need them to respect our choices and viewpoints concerning hijab as they are, because it’s not something they can ever fully understand.
Much better! It really reads nicely now in terms of flow and organization of ideas. Good work.
