For next week, I want you to re-read your blog posts from the past 3 weeks andĀ choose 2 of them that you’d like to use in your Essay 1 (due next week at tutoring). Ā I then want you to work on connecting the ideas in these two posts, using the steps we worked on in class, copied below:
- Write a few sentences explaining the connections and similarities between the two blog posts below.
- Referring to some of your ideas from #1, write a transition between these two posts so they would āflowā together well in an essay. Ā You will probably have to change how the posts end/begin, make a new paragraph, and add 1-2 transitional sentences.
In the blog post where I described my online identity, I’ve described how I think I’ve portrayed myself, or how I think others view me. In the post, I stated that I donāt even do it on purpose I literally state my opinions and observations, which seems to make people react with laughing emojis, and comment things like āIām deadā orāLMFAOā. Then I proceeded to call myself a ālow-key comedianā This shows that even though I’m being myself both online and offline, I’m still portraying myself a certain way to others subconsciously. I say this for the simple fact that I’m looking at myself from a third person view, my subconscious mind will make me think I am the person that I would like to be seen as. So I’ll proceed to make this claim; All people want to be viewed a certain way by others either intentionally or unintentionally.
The narrative āRomanceā by Sherry Turkle shows how Adam is troubled by the gap between his online personality, and his in-person self. He tried to present himself as the person wanted to be seen as online, but his āin-person self ādidnāt reflect his āonline-selfā to his ex Tessa, Which led to a failed relationship. To summarize my blog post on the passage āThe Better, Edited, Selfā from the narrative āRomanceā, technology makes people in control of the kind of person they want to be seen as due to the fact that they control, premeditate, and revise on what other people can see and the information that is put out by that person, Which creates a visual picture of our online selves to others. Which supports my claim that all people want to be viewed a certain way by others either intentionally or unintentionally.
The difference between our āonline selvesā and āin-person selvesā is that online, we portray ourselves as the people we would like to be seen as at all times, due to the controlled comments and information we put online. Where as our in person selves doesn’t allow us to revise or edit our actions so we are how we want to be seen at that moment, or when certain moments present themselves.
Delon, I think much of the material in this post has a lot of potential and could work well in your essay with some editing. Be mindful of typos and also of creating intentional paragraphs which focus on one topic each. In particular, I like how you’ve “woven” together this passage:
“even though Iām being myself both online and offline, Iām still portraying myself a certain way to others subconsciously. I say this for the simple fact that Iām looking at myself from a third person view, my subconscious mind will make me think I am the person that I would like to be seen as. So Iāll proceed to make this claim; All people want to be viewed a certain way by others either intentionally or unintentionally.
The narrative āRomanceā by Sherry Turkle shows how Adam is troubled by the gap between his online personality, and his in-person self. He tried to present himself as the person wanted to be seen as online, but his āin-person self ādidnāt reflect his āonline-selfā to his ex Tessa, Which led to a failed relationship. To summarize my blog post on the passage āThe Better, Edited, Selfā from the narrative āRomanceā, technology makes people in control of the kind of person they want to be seen as due to the fact that they control, premeditate, and revise on what other people can see and the information that is put out by that person, Which creates a visual picture of our online selves to others. Which supports my claim that all people want to be viewed a certain way by others either intentionally or unintentionally.”
Blog post 1.2 “Self Portrait”, this blog post made me assume what others would analyze and/or judge me as on social media. This also made me deem on how I view myself just by looking into my phone. I started off to think the question most people ask themselves quite frequently and i asked myself, who am I. What do i enjoy doing and what puts a smile on my face. On my phone i consider that enjoyment to be facebook. Scrolling pass funny memes and stupid post some that i share could really have a toll on my day. I also come across people that i am close with and i enjoy seeing what their up to and their daily agenda.
Blog post 2.1 “recording” this blog post is where i attended labor day, This day I seen a handful of people that I haven’t seen in ages. Some from elementary school some from middle school and a pinch from high school. 80% of them I friended on facebook so we would always know a little bit of how we were doing. In a way it made conversations easier and with a guy like me who hates being verbally social, it made things less complex. I knew what they were into by the things that they shared and they knew what i was into by what i was recently involved in. Lets say i went to the movies they would ask how was it and my thoughts on it and there start a good conversation.
Witnell, keep working on identifying the connections between these two posts. I like where this line is going and think you could develop it into a paragraph or more:
“I started off to think the question most people ask themselves quite frequently and i asked myself, who am I. “
**Referring to blog posts 1.2 and 2.2 regarding my uses for both my phone and my online identit(ies).**
I think of myself as a laid back person, the sort-of carefree type. On social media platforms, though, I’m a much funnier guy, and i seem to be more adventurous and outgoing. I have much more Facebook ‘friends’ than i do real friends, and I use text lingo to sound cooler when instant messaging or posting. On my phone, you’ll see a vastness of memes and funny videos, basketball and football paraphernalia, and NBA 2K gameplay. Material on both my phone and my online profile is very closely related, as both are essentially an embodiment of the type of person I am and my interests, though sometimes exaggerated.
“My phone is essentially an embodiment of myself.” My interests (take sports for example) are portrayed not only on my phone, but also on my social media profiles. That being said, it’s safe to say that apart from all the communication and business that takes place on my phone, without it I’d feel bored and empty. I and many others use our phones for a variety of reasons, with the fostering of hobbies and ideas being the most prevalent.
Ugonna,
With a bit of editing, much of this post could be used in your essay. Here’s a passage that I think could work well as a transition:
“Material on both my phone and my online profile is very closely related, as both are essentially an embodiment of the type of person I am and my interests, though sometimes exaggerated.”
The blogs that I have chosen are blogs 1.2 and 2.2 , I chose them because I think they have a connection . Blog 1.2 is about your phone as a self portrait and blog 2.2 talks about your online identity. These go along well because your phone can be used to know your identity online , by that I mean the content that’s on your phone , like for example if u have a lot of memes or funny videos saved on your phone(your phone being your self portrait ) , it probably means that you like to send a lot of memes and videos on social media , making your identity(online identity) as like a funny person that likes jokes and stuff . Knowing that your phone is your self portrait, you can also get a glimpse of their online identity . These two topics flow together and are going to be used in my essay because I can transition from the first blog to the other one like so , “this is how your phone is a self portrait, therefore , your self portrait of your phone can also show your online identity because of the content that’s on your phone .”
Saniel,
I think you have a good transition line for your essay here:
“Your phone can also show your online identity because of the content thatās on your phone.”
Some of your other material in this post could work in your essay as well, but be sure to edit carefully!
My phone is precious to me as a child is precious to their mother and father. My phone holds a lot of my memories; pictures from my high school prom, senior trip photos with my friends, and the never ending sea of memes that takes up the majority of my storage space(not literally). My phone has a “bulky case”(blog post 1.2) which represents how protective i am of the things that are deemed valuable to me both in price and in sentiment.
Not only does my phone hold my memories of the past, it is also a home to some personas that i play from time to time. One of my personas that i play is the competitive gamer, this persona stretches from the PS4 to my phone with the Messenger games. On the Playstation 4 i am very competitive when it comes to videogames, especially NBA 2K17. It got to the point where if someone didn’t make a pass fast enough or didn’t make it at all i would say “OPEN!” over and over until they passed me the ball even though the opportunity dies.
On the opposite end of that spectrum, there is the joker (and no not the joker from batman). When I talk with my friends all i do is crack jokes about everything, even things i shouldn’t joke about i.e hurricane harvey and 9/11 but i digress. Ive played the joker online so much that i realized that I have become the joker in real life. A long with being the joker i was a pretty laid back person, an nice compliment to the joker. Simply put, I was never the one to “take things seriously” (blog post 2.2) outside of online interactions (which is a problem because then i get distracted easily).
P.S.- I was in the middle of a convo in a group chat and i kept forgetting that im doing a blog post so excuse any misspellings pls.
Oludara,
Much of this is excellent material for your essay. I’m highlighting below two fabulous transition sentences you’ve used:
“Not only does my phone hold my memories of the past, it is also a home to some personas that i play from time to time.”
“On the opposite end of that spectrum, there is the joker (and no not the joker from batman).”
The two blog post that I am using are 2.2 Your online identity and 3.2 quoting & responding to Turkles essay. The quote i chose in Turkles reading relates to peoples inability to form secure attachments due to technology’s advancements. it relates to the online identity blog because some identities that people create makes it hard for people to form secure attachments. My online identity had a lot to do with me lacking empathy online because majority of the people i meet i would never come in contact with. Also being online i do not feel as if im obligated to respond to someone as oppose to being in their presence where a response is necessary most of the time.
From then on the personality I developed kept evolving. Who am I online was not a question I was asking myself anymore. When Twitter a social network came out I joined and named the āiggnantā personality Lola. Lashing out at anyone who said something I didn’t like and responding without empathy on how other felt. During one of many internet beefs I had a conflict with some girl who called me out of my name. In this argument I made a collage of her avatar (profile picture) with the character I.R baboon from the show I am weasel show and posted it on my feed. I started to notice people responded more to me being ignorant than nice and sweet.
That online identity of pure ignorance led to me not responding to people texts when I didn’t feel like talking and leaving my read indicator on so they know I saw their message. Along the years I lost friends due to my horrid attitude and lack of empathy. It also didnāt make it easy to form new friendships. In an article titled āRomanceā author Sherry Turkle states that in the internet are causing āa decline in the ability to form secure attachmentsā.
Amanda,
Much of this is fabulous material for your essay, but be sure to proofread to make sure all of your sentences make sense together.
A highly effective transition phrase you’ve used here is this one:
“That online identity of pure ignorance led to me not responding to people texts when I didnāt feel like talking and leaving my read indicator on so they know I saw their message. “
In blog 2.2 – Your Online Identities I go on about how different I am when it comes to different social media platforms. If you read the blog post you may notice I have 3 different identities that I use online. On Facebook I am very low key, on Instagram Iām more a businessman, and lastly on snap chat I am a very confident/outgoing guy. Now referring to blog 3.2 ā Quoting & Responding to Turkleās Essay, it goes without say that changing your identity online is always possible. In Turkleās novel āRomanceā she explains an online relationship between Adam and his girlfriend Tessa. Turkle points out, āAdam was able to edit himselfā. This connects into what I was saying in blog 2.2 about having several identities. Editing āyourselfā to act like a better person online is achievable. In person it is difficult to achieve that. āOver timeā Chris Rock claims, āour ārepresentativesā cant do the job and āweā start to show upā. The statement is fairly true because on snapchat I am really outgoing and laid back that people would think I’m sociable when in reality I am shy.
I can connect Sherry Turkle’s romance prompt with my online conversation blog post. In Sherry Turkle’s “romance”, hannah’s friend was talking to a high school senior. Eventually, the conversation ended when the senior decided not to respond. Hannah’s friend didn’t like that, so she made it her objective to confront him about it. Once she did, the senior high schooler and his friends started laughing. I can connect this with my blog post because at times, I can be dismissive to anyone whenever I’m talking to them online because it’s easy than dismissing someone that’s in front of you physically
Connecting blog posts 2.1 (Writing as āRecordingā: Watching People Interact) and 2.2 (Your Online Identities):
In blog post 2.1 I talk about how I barely observe my surroundings due catching attention and fearing to make eye contact with a stranger; in blog post 2.2 it regards my online identity. In these two post I talk about my online self and how (I’m guessing my so-called) social anxiety play a role with each other. Online I get to express my real emotions. To be more specific: on my “finsta”, my private instagram account where I only let my close friends follow, I show my personality without a filter. Due to fearing what others think or fearing any form of judgment, I hide how I really feel about anything. Platforms like my “finsta”, make me feel comfortable to express myself since it is under a private account with very few followers on it to see.