Author Archives: Duane

Trapped Behind Deceit Story & Essay

Part 1: Retelling: Trapped Behind Deceit

“Why, why me?” I said. “What is it, little girl?” John said. “Don’t go walking about like that–you’ll get cold.”  “Little girl? John why do you continue to do this to me?” I said. But I knew that they couldn’t hear me, mostly because I need to be me, not behind this wallpaper of deceit and it’s not like I can just come out and walk around at this time, especially with John home. I try sticking my head through these bars anyway but as John continues to speak he traps me in again. Cutting off my head which is now lifeless. I’m still alive though, another head comes out of my body.

I try one more time, sticking my head through the changing bars, trying to get out in one try. But then as I look at the clueless me with John, she seemed startled a little after he looked at her with such a stern , reproachful look. There goes another one of my heads. These patterns are way too heavy and crowded. “YES!” I thought to myself , “The patterns are going to become less complex.” “If she would recognize that at night in any kind of light, in twilight, candle light, lamplight, and the best of all by moonlight, the complex pattern prision shows as just bars from the outside. John is asleep, the moonlight shines on the wallpaper. “Now is my chance” I thought, “I’m going to have to use our fear to shape myself.” I could only gathered a little of fear to create the outline of my body, hope that was enough for her to recognize herself. I did see when she caught John and Jennie investing their energy into making sure the patterns and bars were still strong to keep me locked in. Jennie did realize that I would leave clues of deceit on her clothes and John’s for me to let her know that I need to save myself.  I do it mostly in the daytime, there’s another me that travels outside of the wallpaper with the other me outside of the wallpaper, like a spirit would. It will leave a smell that would remind her of deceit, the wallpaper, while making sure I don’t stand out too much. So I will creep. “I will not let myself forget for even a second, the reason we are trapped in the first place.” I said to myself. Throughout the day I’ll have the spirit leave the color all around the place. It is now night, the moonlight is shining on part of the wallpaper, “Another chance!” I said to myself. I wanted to get the heck out of here so I started shaking the bars as hard as I could. She’s looking at me, “I think she could see me” I thought. I continue to shake wildly, “I’m tired of these bars. GET ME OUT OF HERE!” I yelled, knowing no one can even hear me. The other part of the wallpaper that is shady from lack of moonlight, I stand still from my others’ feeling of John’s judgment. I know that I am now more invested in letting myself free, she’s neglecting John’s looks. “I can feel it, she cares less about them.” I said, feeling a sense of, “I can soon finally be free.” John was asking her some questions but the clothes he were wearing had some of the color on him. Jennie’s trying her best to try to keep me tamed by wanting to sleep with me, there was color on her too. She looked at the smooch on her clothes, “Get away from her.” trying to tell myself. She told Jennie she would rest better alone tonight. She came towards the cage and started peeling the cage off. “Come on! Help get me out of here. Come on!” I said eagerly, while shaking the bars. Morning came, hearing the cage laugh all morning, knowing that John and Jennie is mocking me. They want me to stay in here. I see Jennie coming, talking to the other me about the getting out of the room. “NOOOOOOOOOOO! DO NOT LET HER CONTINUE TO TRAP US!” I screamed. She told her she’s going to sleep in here tonight again, turning Jennie down. She’s so close to fully realizing her true self because I can now walk around as I please. “It is so pleasant to be out in this great room and creep around as I please.” I said. John’s trying to get inside of the room, I’m automatically drawn back into the wallpaper because of his presence. She looks determined to get me out of this cage. He came in after getting the key and stopped short by the door. “What is the matter?” John cried. “For God’s sake, what are you doing!” I stepped out of the wallpaper and looked at him while moving into her, making us one. “I’ve got out at last,” we said, “in spite of you and her. And I’ve pulled off most of the paper, so you can’t put me back!” John fainted, all of his energy is was broken and has set me and her free and together. Where we belong.

 

Part 2: Essay: Comparison of “The Yellow Wallpaper” & Trapped Behind Deceit

If you listen to a different point of view then you can gain a different perspective on the situation. In “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, the reader is gaining the perspective of the women (outside of the wallpaper) because the narrator is told in first person, limited, and subjective. This means that the reader is viewing the story as the women, taking what the women sees, thinks, and encounters throughout the story without knowing any other characters in the story thoughts and other things that they encounter other than with the women. In the retelling of “The Yellow Wallpaper”, I told the story in first person, limited, and it was also subjective but from the point of view of the woman in the wallpaper who is the true representation of the woman outside of the wallpaper. When comparing both the original story and the retelling of the story there are differences in perspective but are connected. In the original story, the first person narrator shine light on the weird and unusual sighting of the bars trapping the women in the wallpaper, John’s relationship with the women (outside the wallpaper), and the constant attention the wallpaper is given while the retelling from a first person narrator from the women in the wallpaper demonstrates why she is trapped in the wallpaper, her relationship to the women outside the wallpaper and with John, and the constant clues left for the women to reveal.

The perspectives were a little different when it came to the bars from the wallpaper trapping the women. In the original story, it states, “At night in any kind of light, in twilight, candle light, lamplight, and worst of all by moonlight, it becomes bars! The outside pattern I mean, and the woman behind it is as plain as can be” (Larsen, pg 8). This shows that the women outside the wallpaper realizes that light can make the pattern of the wallpaper less complicated than she believes they are. Also, when she says, “and worst of all by moonlight”, shows her frustrated towards the pattern revealing it’s simplicity in moonlight which helps grab her attention the most of the horrid wallpaper. While in the retelling, during the same scene, it says, “These patterns are way too heavy and crowded. “YES!” I thought to myself, “The patterns are going to become less complex.” “If she would recognize that at night in any kind of light, in twilight, candle light, lamplight, and the best of all by moonlight, the complex pattern prision shows as just bars from the outside.” The same kind of wording is used from both the women outside and inside the wallpaper but the feeling of the woman inside of the wallpaper towards the moonlight is different than the other woman’s feeling. The trapped woman enjoys when the pattern is less complex because of the fact that it prevents her from being recognized from the outside women while also giving her a slightly better chance of escaping which she enjoyed. There are similarities as far as the bars being recognized through the changes of light from both the narrator of the original story and of the retelling but the feelings towards the light with the pattern are different.

The woman from both narrators views the attention ‘asked’ from the wallpaper differently but are working for each others favor. In the original story, it says, “It creeps all over the house. I find it hovering in the dining-room, skulking in the parior, hiding in the hall, lying in wait for me on the stairs….The only thing I can think of that it is like is the COLOR of the paper! A yellow smell” (Larsen, pg. 9). Now, in this story, the protagonist does not know what to think of the smell but only knows that she hates the color of the wallpaper which is yellow. It is not stated why there is a smell following her and the color is stuck with her but just that it has to relate to the wallpaper that frustrates her. In the retelling the connection is made by the trapped woman, saying “I would leave clues of deceit on her and John’s for me to let her know that I need to save myself. I do it mostly in the daytime, there’s another me that travels outside of the wallpaper with the other me outside of the wallpaper, like a spirit would. It will leave a smell that would remind her of deceit, the wallpaper, while making sure I don’t stand out too much.” This shows that the woman from the original story, the smell that kept following her was the spirit from the woman of the wallpaper trying to keep her attention on the wallpaper with the smell of wallpaper. The smell of the wallpaper, as the woman from the original story describes, is yellow. The woman in the retelling describes it as deceit which means that the yellow color of the wallpaper is actually deceit which is happening to the woman outside the wallpaper. Which is why she does not like the color because she does not believe the meaning and can not understand what is being deceived.

The relationship with John with both women are different at the beginning but are exactly the same at the end. In the retelling, the trapped women views John as a major part of the reason of why she is trapped in the wallpaper in the first place. “I did see when she caught John and Jennie investing their energy into making sure the patterns and bars were still strong to keep me locked in.” This proves that the trapped woman believes that John is keeping her trapped, he was making sure that the woman’s true representation of herself would not come out by keeping the wallpaper’s pattern intacted. But the woman outside of the wallpaper views the situation differently. “I have watched John when he did not know I was looking, and come into the room suddenly on the most innocent excuses, and I’ve caught him several times LOOKING AT THE PAPER! And Jennie too….But I know that she was studying that pattern, and I am determined that nobody shall find it out but myself!” (Larsen, pg 8). This shows that the woman outside of the wallpaper seen John and Jennie looking and investigating the wallpaper but thought that they were only trying to figure out the pattern of the wallpaper which the trapped woman believes that they know the pattern very well but is trying to make it more complex. The trapped woman does not like John at all while the other woman only finds him somewhat as a suspect but not fully guilty because she has feelings for him. But as mentioned, the relationship towards John are the same at the end, “And I’ve pulled off most of the paper, so you can’t put me back” (Larsen, pg 12, and from retelling). After the escape of the women in the wallpaper, and both women emerged together then their thoughts and emotions became one. In that quote they are both have a sense of resentment towards John because not only does the women in the wallpaper from the retelling know that John was working against her but now so does the women outside. Which shows in the original because of the same quote coming from the woman said towards John.

There are different perspectives from different sides that can change your point of view on a situation. In the original story, the connection was made in the retelling by changing the narrator. This causes to use what is not known from the original story and make a connection. Like, the patterns of the wallpaper were not only bars seen by moonlight from both women but that it was used for the same purpose, to make the outside would acknowledge it even though the emotions towards the bars were different because of different mindset the women were in. Another connection was the smell and color, the original narrator thought it was just an annoying smell that came from the wallpaper that she couldn’t shake off and remind her of the ugly color. But, in the retelling it was actually a spirit of her trying to get her attention to the wallpaper to show her that she was being deceived. Finally, the relationship towards John from both women were different at first, the original narrator only thought of him as suspicious but wanted to be with him while the retelling narrator despised him. At the end, it shows that the two woman from the original and retelling became one after the ripping of the wallpaper and shared the same resentful feelings for John.

Oratorical

Oratorical (adjective) – of, relating to, or characteristic of an orator or oratory

Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/oratorical

“The feeling passed, escaped in the surprise of what Mrs. Hayes-Rore was saying. Her oratorical voice boomed above the city’s roar.”

It is now understood that Mrs. Hayes-Rore has a very distinguish and powerful voice. Her voice overcame the sounds from the streets of New York.

Ignominy

Ignominy (noun) – deep personal humiliation and disgrace

Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ignominy

“”Oh, yes! I remember about you now. I’d forgotten for a moment. Well, he isn’t exactly your uncle, is he? Your mother wasn’t married, was she? I mean, to your father?” “I–I don’t know,” stammered the girl, feeling pushed down to the uttermost depths of ignominy.” (Larsen, pg. 61)

Helga met her Mr. Nilssen’s wife who had told Helga that Mr. Nilssen is not her uncle because her own parents were not married so there is no relation between the two. Which made her feel humiliated because she didn’t even know that her parents were not married and has shown up to Mr. Nilssen’s house for a uncle that is not her uncle.

Nasturtiums

Nasturtiums (noun) – any of a genus (Tropaeolum of the family Tropaeolaceae, the nasturtium family) of herbs of Central and South America with showy spurred flowers and pungent edible seeds and leaves.

Source – https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nasturtium

In “Quicksand”, “Only a single reading lamp, dimmed by a great black and red shade, made by pool of light on the blue Chinese carpet, on the bright covers of the books which she had taken down from their long shelves, on the white pages of the opened one selected, on the shining brass bowl crowded with many-colored nasturtiums beside her on the low table, and on the oriental silk which covered the stool at her slim feet.” (Larsen, pg 35)

I now understand that the author is trying to set a seen with the description of the nasturtiums, which are colorful flowers that can be red, yellow, and white. These flowers are next to Helga Crane as she sits around a table.

Image result for define nasturtium

Absinthe

Absinthe (noun) – a green or sometimes colorless distilled liquor with high alcoholic content that is flavored with wormwood, anise, and other aromatic herbs (such as fennel); also a similar liquor that is made without wormwood

Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/absinthe

“Yes,” said the girl. “Everything tastes of liquorice. Especially all the things you’ve waited so long for, like absinthe.” (“Hills Like White Elephants”, Hemingway)

I understand the absinthe is an alcoholic beverage which I believe, from what was stated in last class, that since the girl is pregnant, she can not drink absinthe which she probably craves to have. So she wants to wait to have the baby until it will be fine to drink absinthe without affecting the baby. Also, she might me too young to have such a drink. So in that quote, he is referring to her long have or had to wait and comparing it to the wait she had until she was able to have a drink of absinthe.

“The Yellow Wallpaper” As A Horror Story?!

  • According to one examination of “The Yellow Wall-Paper” and its publication history, the story did remain in print in between its reprint in 1920 and its feminist re-discovery in the 1970s: in horror-story collections. In what ways do you see “The Yellow Wall-Paper” as a horror story? Include specific references to the text to support your claims.

“I really have discovered something at last. Through watching so much at night, when it changes so, I have finally found out. The front pattern DOES move–and no wonder! The woman behind shakes it! Sometimes I think there are a great many women, behind, and sometimes only one, and she crawls around fast, and her crawling shakes it all over” (Gilman, pg. 9-10).

Now, this quote, visually, is very creepy. Taking place the time in the story, night, and what is going on like seeing numerous women then only one behind a wallpaper that is moving is skin crawling. Speaking of crawling, the women behind the wallpaper crawls, she doesn’t walk. Thinking of this reminds me of the movie “The Ring”, for those who may not have a clue of what I am talking about here’s a visual.

Image result for the ring

“Then in the very bright spots she keeps still, and in the very shady spots she just takes hold of the bars and shakes them hard. And she is all the time trying to climb through. But nobody could climb through that pattern–it strangles so; I think that is why it has so many heads” (Gilman, pg. 10).

Image result for three headed woman

This also adds to the visually disturbing view because not only does the women trapped in the wallpaper crawl but also has many heads. Now, it is unclear if the narrator is referring to the amount of head as the numerous women behind the bars or how many heads that one women behind the bars has. But, this leaves the reader to be open to imagination and depending on where that imagination leads the reader can be classified as horrifying or normal. But when I try to see how this story is viewed as a horror story then a women with many heads crawling is what comes to mind. That’s the way I see this story as a horror story.

At first reading, I did not perceive this to be creepy at all, just very creative writing, somewhat like poetry. But, being that when this story was rediscovered, 1970’s, the first thought that came to my mind about why it would be classified as a horror story is that not only is this story creative in a way that isn’t regularly thought of but, it would probably be looked at as if the narrator has a mental problem that, at the time, could not be explained very well or medically treated properly and is taking the reader into the mind of someone who is ‘not normal’. So when people do not fully understand where something is coming from or just simply don’t understand they tend to label it and shy away from it. That’s the first thought that came to mind when I thought of why it can be seen as a horror story.

Chintz

Chintz (noun) – a usually glazed printed cotton fabric

Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chintz

“I wanted one downstairs that opened on the piazza and had roses all over the window, and such pretty old-fashioned chintz hangings! but John would not hear of it.” (Gilman, pg. 2)

I understand that the word chintz is used to identify that a curtain, that is made out of cotton, and that it has designs on it. It was in one of the rooms that she liked that John did not approve of because there wasn’t enough room to his liking.

Image result for chintz curtains

Calligraphy

Calligraphy (noun) – beautiful artistic handwriting

Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/calligraphy

In “A Rose for Emily”, it says, “A week later the mayor wrote her himself, offering to call or to send his car for her, and received in reply a note on paper of an archaic shape, in a thin, flowing calligraphy in faded ink, to the effect that she no longer went out at all.”

In that quote from “A Rose for Emily”, the word calligraphy is used to identify the handwriting of the Miss Emily and help visualize the note that she wrote back in response to the mayor that it was nicely written.

Veiled

Veiled (adjective): able to be seen or understood but not openly shown or stated : expressed in a way that is not clear and direct.

Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/veiled

I encountered this word while reading “The Story of an Hour” by Kate Chopin. “It was her sister Josephine who told her, in broken sentences; veiled hints that revealed in half concealing. Her husband’s friend Richards was there, too, near her. It was he who had been in the newspaper office when intelligence of the railroad disaster was received, with Brently Mallard’s name leading the list of “killed.” This means that Josephine did not come straight out and tell Mrs. Mallard about her husband’s death but gave hints here and there to help her derive to that conclusion.

Devout

Devout (adjective) – earnest or sincere

Source: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/devout

I came across this word while reading “Cinderella” by Anne Sexton

“Once the wife of a rich man was on her deathbed and she said to her daughter Cinderella: Be devout. Be good.”

The word in this sentence is most likely the dying wife telling Cinderella to be sincere and to be a good person. This makes more sense because I did not understand what exactly the dying wife was trying to tell Cinderella other than to be good but I can see the similarity when she says be good and be sincere.