I always questioned whether I would fit in anywhere, thinking that because I was so shy and self reserved that I wouldn’t make friends anywhere I would go. But I’ve learned to bond with others through mutual interests. Although I’m growing out of my shell to communicate with those who share mutual likings with myself, at times I find it hard to still bond with them. Being a part of the beauty community has given me a sense of self and comfortability, with the shared language and knowledge of cosmetics and hairdressing. On the other hand, trying to find myself a part of the fashion discourse has been a challenge. My lack of knowledge and not much of a community in that space, makes it more difficult for me to engage with those a part of this space, and feel more included.
Since I was young, I’ve had an interest in both beauty and fashion. As I’ve gotten older, the more I learned that they go with one another. The beauty discourse has brought me to a calmer self within me and gives me peace. I grew up watching many makeup videos on youtube, learning the types of makeup brushes, types of foundations and concealers. While I was so young learning all of this, it did make me feel different from some of the girls in my elementary class, but it made me feel different in a good way, like I was nuanced from them. After I graduated and moved into middle school. Many of the girls that I did interact with knew about makeup. It was easier for me to talk to them, they knew the “beauty” language. Talking about learning how to contour, the blushes we preferred, the more pinkish kind or the orangish kind. This community gave me the ability to talk to anyone about beauty products or skills.
Transitioning into highschool, I started to experiment with doing my hair and my makeup. I gained the skill of not only using what I learned about makeup on myself, but I learned how to do my hair and make profit off of it. This started to become a great hobby of mine. It was a gateway to express myself without being judged, because if there’s one thing in the beauty community, those who once knew nothing, knew about the trails and eras it takes to master a certain makeup style or hairstyle. That’s why I feel so connected and not isolated in this community.
After I graduated highschool, I learned very quickly that I had a passion for fashion as well as beauty. I knew I wanted to pursue something in the fashion field. Being the fact that I already had retail experience in the past few years, I realized that it can help me pursue a position in the e-commerce or merchandising field for clothing.
Once I got to college, I felt like many of the kids that were in my major had more experiences within fashion than I did. They knew more designers, and not just designers for today, but designers like Vivienne Westwood, Virgil Abloh, and many others that I wasn’t up to date with. I didn’t feel like I fit in, from the knowledge that my peers knew. They had a sense of how to style themselves, it came from their own mind and not inspired by someone else they saw. Looking at myself, I didn’t think that I had my own sense of style. I still wear very basic clothing, like the classics, denim, t-shirts, sweatshirts, and sneakers. But I feel like everyone else, when you look at them, you assume they just put this outfit together because they had to go somewhere. That’s different for me, I just haven’t found my sense of fashion as yet, but that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to still learn more fashion knowledge, or be more creative with my outfits.
From the people in my major to those I see online, the fashion community seems pretty judgemental at times. The fashion scene is always evolving but something that stuck is, the newer generation hates seeing fast fashion, any brands that are fast fashion and cheap, has become an automatic no no. To be quite honest, there are times I may shop from those fast fashion brands, which puts me aside from those in the fashion community that believes that fast fashion isn’t “cool” or “trendy.” But that’s why I feel like I’m different and it’s hard to fit in besides having the lack of knowledge, I know that whatever I like and is fashionable will become a part of my wardrobe and my style. Apart from the negative thoughts on fast fashion, the fashion community are very big on name brands from what I’ve seen, some of those who have made themselves fashion icons, have created many outfits with big names brands in the industry. Those named brands have very high prices and at times are very hard to get because of the limited quantity of the item.
Top name brands and knowledge of fashion doesn’t make me less interested in wanting to be in the fashion community. I’ve acknowledged that I have to find my people who are fashionably alike. I don’t fit in because I’m not necessarily like the “majority,” and that’s okay. I would rather find my people within the fashion community who can also share other mutual interests outside of fashion, then fit into a group of those who would judge me for not knowing certain things in fashion history. Everyone starts somewhere, being in college has given me outlets to meet some of those who are in the same fashion major and have similar interests in beauty. As I continue to slowly find comfortability in the fashion community, I will educate myself on fashion history, not just to fit in, but it could later help me in life within my field that I want to pursue.
The beauty community was easy for me to fit in and find my people. I made ways of having peace within myself because it became a hobby for me. But it also turned into a way for me to profit off of it as well. I used the knowledge and my personality to create the bonds that I have made in the beauty community, which has given me the confidence to create friendships or mutuals with those within the beauty community. The fashion community has been a bit harder for me to fit into because I just started to learn the depths of fashion, when I started college. The fashion community that I’ve seen online and some friend groups in school have seem pretty judgmental. Despite that, I’ve realized that I have to find people within the fashion community that have a similar fashion sense like myself, and maybe an interest in the beauty community as well.
Both of these discourse communities were always of interest to me growing up, but building more connections in each discourse helps me feel more comfortable and relatable. For those who are shy and self reserved like myself, we have to put ourselves out there and make connections. It can feel uncomfortable, but if you’re in college, take advantage of the clubs and events for your majors. Associating with people who have similar interests, will give you more ways to make relations, probably with people in the industry.
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