Category: Essay 1 Draft (Page 2 of 2)

Giorgi Goletiani

English 1101

In life we all are individuals as humans, with feelings, thoughts, most of our lives are dependent on our will as by helping our thinking of life, we create our own understanding of safe place, as we call “intellectual home” which is the place where we all getting educated, intellectual home is our learning corner which let’s us focus and have quiet environment. My intellectual home is my bedroom that’s where I can really focus on my homework from the collage, it’s quiet I can lock myself in there until I’m done with work I do, although most of the time i’m alone at home, but still when my family members are back from the work they bring noise in the house, that’s why I prefer my room, my Intellectual home, my safe environment.

Salvatore Scibona “Where I Learned to Read”, Salvatore life before he found his Intellectual home his life was miserable couldn’t focus on his educational needs, he was falling all of his subjects in school hated his house, in his house television was on day and night and had crowded house. Personally I can’t relate to his life the way he lived just because my Intellectual home is right front of me and Salvatore found his Intellectual home far from his actual house more than five hundred miles away in the St.john’s college, we can’t really relate on having safe place as we called it Intellectual home but we can most definitely relate on finding the place where we both can do our best as him, he learned reading, he was doing good in his classes and found friends, other hand my Intellectual home helped me doing my work as a student and helped me educate my self in safe environment for future to come as i am trying to evolve to be better at my work and responsibilities I am having and more to come as it helped Salvador to succeed in his goals and dreams with his success in life.

End of the story when he mentioned “I was a sad little boy and a standard-issue, shiftless, egotistical, dejected teen-ager.” As Salvatore I sometimes need Personal space to think and act afterward. That’s where our Intellectual homes are crossed in the way of changing to be better.

As we all grow doesn’t mean we aren’t going to need our own space, I think in future we would need more than we need right now at this point, it an optional many students from city tech probably will disagree but as we speak our Intellectual homes are the places we feel it’s safe to open our feelings towards ourselves to have discussions with our self Personalities in the way others can’t understand it, this place could move we can change since we evolve and our understandings are changing we also develop different point of views toward everything and anything, Intellectual homes aren’t really the material place or an object, in my belief we create our Intellectual homes to feel safe to learn to have some quite space nobody around to find one point we can hold on to it, having intellectual home is basically the base of and we can float on the surface.

The futures can be crucial and not fare, it doesn’t Matter if my Intellectual home will be far away as Salvador but i will make sure to have some nice cozy warm place where I can find myself, if I ever need to have hard time on just with school but also with everyday things as we are having a war just to survive a day in life out of our Intellectual home. In my imagination i can think of the future I can set up the theme I dream of i want to have book shelfs full with the books around the walls to be covered with it, nice looking decorations for personal moral to have more strength and to think and do to educate myself, as they do in city tech college, personally never been to inside the collage compose but I can imagine my Intellectual home to be in the place were we getting education thoughts.

Other hand Intellectual home is not just the place we feel safe or having hard times figuring out our self, it can be the place we collaborate helping others preps doing our work or giving out help to others who ever needs, we can change of others by showing them the right way or try to help them with good will,Intellectual home in the end it’s not the materials that we use more likely Intellectual home is where we find ourselves and having the moment of that point.

When thinking about someones ideal intellectual home, a desk with enough space for a text book and composition notebook and a comfortable chair to sit in may come to mind. However, the ideal place to study or get the best academic work done can vary by person. Some people can do their best academic work while in a public area and not be affected by the public noise. Some can only get their best work done in an environment where everyone else is focused and getting work done like a library. My intellectual home resides at my dining room table around 2:00 PM. The table in the dining room is spacious providing space for my binder and laptop, the temperature in the room is not too hot or cold bust just right, and I like to get work done around 2:00 PM because this is when the house is most quiet due to my parents being at work and brother being in school. My motivation for doing my work is to be as smart as I can be which helps me become the best version of me. While my intellectual home centered around the dining room, the author Sherman Alexie of “Superman and Me” does his best reading anywhere he sees an area containing words and is motivated by not wanting to become some unintelligent Indian boy.

In order to explain this comparison, I will first examine both Sherman Alexie and my intellectual home and how they are different. Secondly, I will point out similarities between our motivation to do our best academic work. Then I will briefly go through my process of doing my best work and show how it can compare to Sherman Alexie’s own process. Lastly, I will describe what my “dream” intellectual home would look like and why I believe this will improve my academic abilities.

As mentioned before my intellectual home is at my dining room table. When thinking of home I think of the a place where I let my guard down which makes me comfortable. Which is why my best work can be at home. I choose the dining room table because it is cool, a lot of space for supplies on the table and a comfortable chair. Most importantly it is a quiet area. Since the noise level is an important factor when getting work done; time management is important. Around 2 o’ clock is when I like to study because my family is not in that area due to my parents leaving for work and my brother being in school. In “Superman and Me” by Sherman Alexie it states, ” I read books at recess, then during lunch, … I read books in the car” This shows that Sherman Alexie did not have to be in an certain area he just needed to be where a book was to get to his process of becoming a better reader.

Self improvement and striving to become the best person I can be is what I want to say I accomplished when my life is all said and done. I believe everyone should strive everyday to try to become the best version of themselves. I can not see another way to live. This idea that having this mindset will inevitably put me in positions and places I could only imagine being is what keeps me going. Sherman Alexie motivation for reading has some similarities to mine. In the text it states, “As Indian children, we were expected to fail in the non Indian world… I refuse to fail. I was smart.” This shows that Alexie was motivated to become the best version of himself because when you refuse to fail in a world where you are expected to fail.

My process to do my best academic work is quite simple. The essentials is being in a quiet area with a bottle of water within reach and my phone away to prevent distractions. Sometimes when I feel like I am in a “flow” academically; I play music or put on a basketball game for some entertainment without getting distraction. This allows my to study for longer periods of time and makes it more enjoyable. Sherman Alexie took a different approach in his process of reading. The article says, ” I pretend to read the words and say ‘Superman is breaking down the door.’ In this way, I learned to read” This shows that Alexies process of reading consisted of reading words aloud whereas I decide to remain quiet.

My dining room currently is the best place I can be when I have an important paper to write or studying to do. But in my head I can imagine a greater place. If it was up to me I would have a desk in my room complimented by a comfortable gaming chair. My desk would be spacious and placed by a windowsill with a plant sitting on it. A lamp would be on my desk to light up my area for late night cramming before a test. In my room would be walls plastered with motivational quotes, role models and a vision board. At times i feel like the environment that I am in suppresses my potential because I dont have enough space to do what I want to do.I feel like my “dream” intellectual home is where I can continue and get closer to my goal of the best version of myself.

To conclude my intellectual home and Sherman Alexie intellectual home are different but is where we get our best work done. Our processes are different when getting work done. l like a quiet area whereas Alexie’s likes to read aloud. Also, our individual motivation to strive for greatness differ but it helps us become the best versions of ourselves which is the end goal.

Dawson Lockhart

Prof. Sean Scanlan

Eng 1101

Draft Essay 1

My Intellectual Home

               According to the author Immanuel Levinas (Lithuanian-French Philosopher): “The privileged role of the home does not consist in being the end of human activity but in being its condition, and in this sense its commencement.” What is accomplished by the home? These four: our ability for recollection, our ability to have intimacy, our ability to work, and our ability to make representations of the world. (from Totality and Infinity, 1969. 152-4.) In my opinion, this quote of Immanuel Levinas is the best description of Intellectual home, because it includes everything that are needed to accomplish to do your best academic work and study. My chosen field is nursing program, so to be accomplished in nurse program and get promotion in my future carrier I have to study a lot, for example, I have to learn new words, improve academic writing and speaking skills.In fact, I think my Intellectual Home is similar to the idea of Esmeralda Santiago’s Intellectual Home. At the same time, I like and admire Salvatore Scibona’s Intellectual home which was centered at St. John’s college with his friends and professors, where Bilal Rahmani’s turning point happened in City tech college in English class with teacher and the girl next to him. My Intellectual Home is my living room where I can learn English language and do my academic work. While Esmeralda Santiago’s Intellectual home is centered on her own school, library, Ms. Brown and the process of learning English language, my own Intellectual Home is centered on my own living room, my husband, and the process of learning new words to enrich my vocabulary. In order to prove this comparison, I will first explore Esmeralda Santiago’s School and her process of learning English language. Second, I will explore my own room and process of learning new words to enrich my vocabulary. Third, I will explore the ways of being more confident and learn how to solve problems. Fourth, I will show my and Santiago’s Intellectual Homes are very similar with two keys differences. Fifth, I will describe my turning point in high school when I realized that I have problems with English language and speaking. Lastly, I will describe my ideal future Intellectual home.

             According to the article “When I was Puerto Rican” by Esmeralda Santiago which was published in The New York Times, in1994, describes about a girl who was thirteen years old when she immigrated from Puerto Rica to New York City with her Mami, to study at school. Esmeralda was very smart girl and her first language was Spanish, so she could barely speak in English. When she and her “mami” entered to school “At the front office we were met by Mr. Grant, a droopy gentleman with thick glasses and a kind smile who spoke no Spanish”. According to the article “When I was Puerto Rican” Esmeralda convinced Mr. Grant to go eight grade and Mr. Grant said “You have until Christmas,” he said. “I’ll be checking on your progress”. Esmeralda’s class number was 8-23 and her teacher was Ms. Brown. According to Esmeralda Santiago, her Intellectual Home was her school, library and her teacher Ms. Brown and the process of learning English. I like the most Esmeralda Santiago’s article, because her intellectual home was school and library, where she could concentrate and do her best academic work and study English language. The article of Santiago “When I was Puerto Rican” is my favorite among the others because it is similar to my Intellectual Home, therefore, I chose this article. Moreover, the process which helped her to learn English language was her teacher Ms. Brown. Esmeralda Santiago loved her teacher because Ms. Brown helped a lot with Esmeralda’s challenges, and I think that Ms. Brown was Esmeralda Santiago’s Intellectual Home.

            My current Intellectual home is my house especially my living room, where no distract, the light of the room is bright, and it has friendly atmosphere. While I am doing my homework, I like to sit on my sofa and drink hot herbal tea, that is all help me to concentrate and focus more on my academic work. I wish and hope to improve my English language skills such as writing and speaking. In order to improve it, I will study very hard, learn new words, read a lot and involve in group(class) discussions.

              When I will be nurse, I have to be more confident in myself in order to give this confidence to the patient and make them to believe in me, that I can help them. Moreover, I have to learn to solve problems such as to deal with patients, listen carefully patient’s complaints regarding their health and etc.

             Esmeralda Santiago’s intellectual home is centered on her school and library, where Ms. Brown helped her with her study and challenges during the study in the school. Moreover, the process of Esmeralda’s Intellectual Home is learning language. However, my Intellectual Home is my spacious living room, where I can relax and accomplish my academic work. I think the process of Intellectual Home is the learning English language and expand my vocabulary.

            When I was studying in high school, I realized that I cannot express my opinion in English language. One day our group was in English class and we were discussing a lot one topic. I had a lot to say about this issue however, I could not because of my language barrier. That was my turning point which happened during my study in high school. After that time, I set a goal to learn new words and read a lot, in order to help myself to express my opinion.

              Lastly, I would like to describe my ideal Intellectual Home which could help to do my best academic work. I think library can be ideal place to study, where the atmosphere is magic, calm, lots of books and people are studying around of me, these conditions could help me to focus and concentrate more on my education and accomplish my academic tasks and goals.

           In conclusion, Intellectual Home is one of the most important part of people’s education during their study. Everybody has different Intellectual Home and experience with that. In order to understand and find your Intellectual Home you should feel free, feel comfort, be able to work, be able have intimacy and lastly, be able to make representations of the world.

Aliyah Latif

English 1101

Essay Draft 1

Intellectual Home 

An intellectual home is a place where you feel comfort, a place you find peace in. A place where you could focus and not get distracted. Everyone has a different place they can find peace in. It may not always be a place but it can be a person you can go to for reassurance. My intellectual home would be my room, it’s very quiet and peaceful no one to distract me. My intellectual home has changed ever since the pandemic started. Before when everything was normal during my highschool years my intellectual home would be the computer lab that’s where I would stay focused and get all my work done. 

In “Where I learned to read” by Salvatore Scibona? It talks about Scibona struggling to find his comfort zone, a place where he could find peace. Scibona describes his house as “ singing like sirens in a crowded house”, where the tv was on all day long. Scibona loved to read but he struggled because he never found a place where he could focus, he lived in a very noisy house.  During his senior year he came across a place “St. John’s college” where he found peace which was known as his intellectual home. First I will tell you about my intellectual home and then I will compare how it relates to the Scibona intellectual Home. 

Finding peace at home is very hard sometimes when there’s always something going on. Everytime I’m around my family I’m unable to focus, there’s just so much noise. My current intellectual home is my room, that’s a place where I can stay focused and not let anything distract me. My room is very quiet, no one comes into my room to bother me, the atmosphere is very peaceful. I put my phone away and focus on my work, my phone tends to be a big distraction. That’s one thing that helps me. In the excerpt “Where I learned to read” by Salvatore Scibona, it was a life changing experience for Scibona when he received the college brochure in the text it says “ I would scrap everything and go to that place and ask them to let me in. It felt like a vocation. It was a vocation”. Scibona never found a place where he felt comfortable, and also he had the motivation to learn how to read but never had a quiet place. This college was his intellectual home where he pushed himself to go, this gave him the motivation to read and do what he enjoyed. This is similar to my experience because I could never find a right place in my home to focus. There was always a distraction. And I never had the motivation to push myself until I found the right place which was my room.

For everyone it’s different and hard to find a place that satisfies them. Ever since the pandemic started I’ve become much lazier before I had a routine that I followed everyday but now it’s just different. I don’t have that motivation to get up and do anything, staying inside for the longest time has made me become lazy.  In the excerpt “Chronicles of once pessimistic college freshman” by Bilal Rahmani I could relate to Rahmani when he says “I’m in, and then I’m out. I don’t feel like I belong here”. This is how I felt I didn’t know what I was doing. Everything was so weird to me. I could never focus on one thing. I took the fall semester off and did feel motivated to start the spring semester but lucky I pushed myself and I’m here today. I came a long way because the decision I made was the best decision. Now that I’m more focused and I have a place I feel safe and comfortable in, this changed me overtime. 

Having an intellectual home is a part of life. Everyone goes through this phase where they have a place where they could get their work done, a place where they go to at the end of day to relieve their stress. I found my place which I go to every time I want to be alone. This is much needed because we can take out all the stress we have. It doesn’t always have to be a place but it could also be a person you go to, to share your thoughts with, someone who listens to how you feel and understands you. 

My future intellectual home I imagine would be a place where it’s quiet but pretty. A nice warm room where there’s a comfortable couch to sit on, and I would want a desk area where I could go sit when I get tired of sitting on the couch. I don’t like staying in one place for too long. I get annoyed and frustrated by it. My future intellectual home and my current intellectual home are kind of similar. It’s just that I want a bigger room and more space so I could move around when I need to.

Amira Webbert

English 1101

Essay Draft #1

The process of learning

When it comes to learning, it can be somewhat simple to most people, neutral, or very challenging. When mentioning someone’s intellectual home, you may think to yourself, a place where a person may feel most comfortable at, a place where one can go to focus or take a break from reality, or maybe a person whom one can speak to about their situation, good or bad.

While Malcolm X intellectual home was focused on learning in Prison, my intellectual home is my room and the process of studying. In order to prove this comparison, first I will explore my own home along with my intellectual home and my ideal intellectual home. Then I will show how my Malcolm X intellectual home was also quite like mine even though it was also very much different. My actual home is very noisy at times as there are five people that I live with including me, and sometimes my other two siblings come to stay over. My current intellectual home is in the comfort of my room. My room is my safe place to concentrate and get all my work done, especially when no one is home, I am able focus more, or I tend to play soft music to keep me relaxed and focused. In “Learning to Read” an excerpt from The Autobiography of Malcolm X, Malcolm X intellectual home kind of connected with my current intellectual home because even though his “home” wasn’t very much safe and comfortable in any way, it was still similar as he practically lived with so many people and his get away location was the prisons library where he spent most of his time teaching himself how to read and write and I guess you can also say that it was his safe place too, as for my get away location, it is my room where I spend most of my days studying and getting work done.

For my ideal intellectual home, it will be in a park like garden, filled with grass and flowers, sun shining, but not too hot; something like central park, and how they have this huge garden where it is very quiet, and people can walk through or sit and enjoy the peace and scenery of the garden. My intellectual home and actual home are very much the same since my intellectual home is in the comfort of my own home and I am okay with that (sometimes).

For future reference, I will want my intellectual home to be more then just my bedroom or park themed. Since I will need to study all year round for my specific major, I can’t picture myself in a park while it’s snowing, so I will create a room in my house to be just for working/ studying like an office but less of a boring themed office and more comfortable like because I know I can get distracted/bored quick so I will need the office to be a place where I would rather be even if it’s just for studying and a place where I know I can focus without having my mind wander somewhere else.

Having an intellectual home does not always have to necessarily mean you have to be in school/ a student to have one. Everybody goes through situations in life and anywhere or anyone can be considered their “intellectual home.” For example, if I didn’t have my room to be considered my intellectual home for work, I would consider my father to be it or also just my “person” because besides work, when I need someone to talk to, I know can always count on him to always be there for me and help with whatever situation I’m in. Also, like Malcolm X, while he was in prison, he had a “person” named Elijah Muhammad who was there for him when he needed someone the most both inside and out of prison. Reading and writing will always be Malcolm’s process to his intellectual home, but Elijah was also apart of that process.

Asef Choudhury

Prof. Sean Scanlan

English 1101

Essay 1 draft

                                                               Intellectual Home

Definition of Intellectual Home: The places, people, and activities that help a student do their best academic work. Different people have different taste, I have a few place and process what help me to do my best academic work. Currently, my intellectual home is my bedroom, but before the covid 19, when the college campus was open my intellectual home was my college library(places). The class discussion is also one of my intellectual home (process) that helps me to understand my academic work and also helps me do it properly.

In the passage “superman and me” Sherman Alexie’s intellectual home was book reading. The writer Sherman Alexie described how a smart Indian kid ridiculed and mocked by other Indians and non-Indian. Indian kids can make jokes and make everyone laugh at the dinner table but they struggle doing simple reading in school. No one teaches them how to write a poem or novel if someone tries to teach them, some of them who are already sullen and defeated will ignore him with theatrical precision. But the writer was smart he learned how to read and write himself and he also trying to give these lessons to everyone to save their lives.

The environment of the home plays an important role in student’s studies, especially those whole studied from home. “Where I learned to read” by Salvatore Scibona, the writer described his home situation, where the tv was on all day, and it was too crowded that he can’t even study. I think for study environment different people has different choice, but I like a quiet environment, where I can concentrate on my studies. studying in a nice and renowned educational institution helps a student to do better because there is more opportunity to do better. Scibona didn’t like reading, because he thinks reading mess up his mind in an unaccountable way. “American childhood” was presented by, Annie Dillard, I read that and it makes me happy. he copied the first paragraph and hang it on his bedroom dormer wall. In school life when the writer was living with family his intellectual home was the backyard of the house (place), where she used to do the homework.  People of the surrounding also play an important role in student life. In the latter of the story St. john (place) and his classmates (people’s) were writers intellectual home. ST John teaches the writer how to read and his friends who always asked questions. when we ask a question we have the opportunity to increase our knowledge. one person can’t know everything. Some people read a book to meet their requirements, it could be academic or professional, but some people read book read as a hobby, either way, they acquire knowledge.

Currently, my intellectual home is my bedroom, which is not that big. In my bedroom for doing studies, I have a chair, which I moved here from our dining room because I feel comfortable sitting on this chair and there is a small task table, a wardrobe, a shelve and couple of single beds because I share my room with my younger brother. Right now this is the best place in my house to do my academic work. But before the covid19, I used to do my academic work in my college (city tech) library.

I used to finish all my homework over there because it was quiet and everyone in the library is studying which creates a study environment that provokes me to do my work done. The best thing about the library is, it is quiet, what I miss most in my current intellectual home. Class discussion is the crucial process of my intellectual home. Class discussion about a specific topic allows students to share the knowledge about that topic and it also allows students to relate in their daily life. Almost all the professors do class discussions after their lectures, which I love because it helps me to understand the class topic and it’s also helpful to finish the homework because homework is given based on class lectures. That why Bilal Rahmani in his “Chronicles of a Once Pessimistic College Freshman,” mentioned that when everyone was in his English class sharing their idea about a topic that was making so much sense to him, the writer feels that, “The classroom became ink, penetrating the water, which was my mind, adding new colors, creating something completely new, something I alone could never hope to create. The discussion dragged me in, and I too began to share my ideas, adding to the excitement of the classroom.”

In the future, if I had an opportunity I want to create a room where I could only do the studies only. The room has to be big enough where I could set nice table with a gaming chair. I choose gaming chairs because they are so comfortable, and I also want to put the table near a window, so through the window, I could see the outside view. I want my study room soundproof and I also want to keep a speaker in my room so when I will get bored of studying, I could listen to some music for freshness.

Intellectual home is not only for students, it could be for everyone. Intellectual home helps to do the best work done in a sufficient way. Everyone should think about the intellectual home concept so that they could do the best work done so that they could be successful in the future.

Test Essay Goes Here.

Hi Class,

Please post your drafts of your Essay 1 to this CATEGORY: Essay 1 Draft.

After you post, then answer these PEER REVIEW questions in a COMMENT right under the essay you select to review. PLEASE DON’T BEGIN TO PEER REVIEW UNTIL I HAVE GONE OVER THE DIRECTIONS ON MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY (March 1, 3).

DIRECTIONS: First copy and paste these questions in a COMMENT under the essay you have selected. Second, answer each question as completely and helpfully as possible. Make sure to review a draft that has less than two reviews. If it has two reviews, then select another one.

Please note: I will GRADE your peer review. If you answer all seven questions in a caring, supportive manner,  you will get all ten points (please proofread with care). Important: Do not correct grammar mistakes. Instead, suggest that when the student revises the essay he or she should work on comma rules or capitalization or spelling or varying verbs, etc (see below #7).

QUESTIONS:

1–Is the title of the article, the source, and the full author’s name provided in the first or second sentence? Be specific if something is missing.

2–Does the student define the author’s Intellectual Home and their own?

3–Does the student explore a brief personal educational experience?

4–Are the thesis and method clear?

5–Copy and paste your two favorite sentences from the students essay. Then explain why you like them. Sample explanation: not only is this an example of the college sentence, this sentence highlights an important turning point that you experienced in high school in a very clear way–I get it completely.

6–Copy and paste two sentences that are confusing. Then explain what is confusing about them. Sample explanation: you may have mixed up the terms Intellectual Home and Personal Anecdote, please check to make sure you have the right term for a brief account of your best exam experience ever.

7–Make two concrete suggestions. Sample suggestion: expand the description of your room because that is where all your studying takes place–what is on the desk that makes you calm? Sample suggestion: instead of using the verb “like” three time in the first paragraph, consider different varying the idea by using “love” as in “I love my old computer…”  Sample suggestion: when you revise your essay, change the lower case “i” to “I”–Prof. Scanlan will definitely say something about that. Sample suggestion: I suggest revising the thesis into the “While X, I think Y” format instead of writing two short sentences.

PEER REVIEWS ARE DUE: FRIDAY, MARCH 5 BY 5PM

FINAL DRAFT IS DUE MONDAY, MARCH 8 BY 10AM–ON BLACKBOARD

Best,

Prof. Scanlan