It was my last year of high school, My relationship with a significant other had just mutually ended. I didn’t know it at the time but my whole friend group would never be the same. I knew it would take time to find a new sense of direction but, I came to the realization that things would never be what they once were. Even though it was mutual it felt almost like a divorce where they got the friend group. They even sparked a relationship with a close friend of mine just a few weeks later.

The progression was slow but not unnoticed. Everyone stopped coming to the club we were a part of. They would all hangout without me, I was slowly being pushed out by what started out of a friend group of 6 became a friend group of 5 without a second thought. I became invisible in the span of a month. It was hard to talk to any of them because anything I said was just brushed off or ignored. They all gave up on me, now I was just an outsider looking in. Someone at the time asked me why I don’t keep their company anymore and my response was  truthful  “I wasn’t invited”. I would have been very sad if not for the 2 friends I had separate from that group. They were the people who saved me from my loneliness. 

After all these events I had a conversation with my ex significant other about how I was feeling. Which was a big mistake because it only made things worse. I explained the way I felt and why I was feeling that way. They said “That’s not how things happened” and “No one was stopping you from hanging out with us”. As if it was my fault that I didn’t try hard enough, I was overreacting to the situation, that I didn’t put in the effort. It was like they didn’t even hear a word I said. I was being invalidated right in front of my eyes. I have never given off main character energy but I never thought I would end up back where I started, in the shadows of everyone else.