15 thoughts on “Feedback for Arian Islam”

  1. Your essay was good, I like that fact that I can relate to it. Although it did feel kind of short and lacking details. I think it would have beneficial to get in detail about the relationship you had with your guidance counselor in high school.

  2. Your essay was enjoyable because I feel like it’s relatable, I liked how you explained about how you learned who were the right people to trust. I liked how you included that whenever things were getting serious you knew you had to get whatever it was done. Something I think you should of included in your paper is what other bad things did you end up doing, and how did this experience change the way you view people and life?

  3. your essay was very well written I feel like at some point in life everyone experiences a similar situation where they learn who is truly there for them but, you could have definitely added more details on how your behavior has changed overtime and how this experience impacts you today, fix some grammatical errors

  4. I can relate to your essay because high school was also a difficult time for me. I always ran into problems with teachers and others and it took me a while to find a solution. There were a few grammatical errors but you did a good job writing about realizing your mistakes and improving on them. I feel like your essay can be improved if you included specific experiences that helped you realize things in high school. You can also elaborate on the new things that you tried and how they changed you.

  5. I really liked your essay. I thought it had a good storyline to tell. I think you should add paragraphs and rearrange some sentences. Also, I think you should include the relationship you had with your guidance counselor and how she approached you. I think you should elaborate more on your details. For example, when you wrote about the school’s reputation with stabbings and drugs; Did you ever experience anything with this? I liked your character growth and how you’ve changed not only as a student but as person.

  6. I liked your essay, I admire how you still learned something from your high school even thought it wasn’t the best. However, I think you should add more details about the things you experienced in your school so it would emphasize the growth you’ve been through. You could also talk about the people that helped you become a better person. Overall it’s a good essay.

  7. one thing I liked that even though you skip class you finish your school  lot of the time people does not any school when they skip school but you didn’t.I would like more details on the last sentence about how your viewed changed on people. overall it nice to read your story.

  8. I like your essay because it has a lot of details and also I like how you show the change that you had made.  Also I would like to know more about the people in the school, how was their behavior since you mention them.

  9. I like this essay because high school is a big point in everyone life and everyone has at least had one rough time in high school. I think more details can be added like how you behaved during certain situations outcomes. This is one big paragraph also so break it up where you think there was a change in the subject.

  10. Overall I thought it was a good essay, the only thing is I thought you should have gave more details on the other stuff you did and how you were a bad kid, other than that and a few grammar errors that’s it.

  11. I liked how you explained about how you learned who were the right people to trust. I really liked your essay. I thought it had a good storyline to tell. I think you should add paragraphs and rearrange some sentences. Also, I think you should include the relationship you had with your guidance counselor and how she approached you.

  12. I really enjoyed reading your essay but I did have a couple of questions. Did you become a “bad” student because of the school or because of the type of people you hung around ? How did you learn to become more humble , keeping a small circle …etc. how did having a new principal affect you? Did it change your attitude towards school ?

  13. I appreciate when people learn from the things that aren’t the best for them. It shows the maturity and growth in said person. I understand what it’s like to have to pinpoint who is real versus who is fake. It’s actually something that has happened to me when I went to high school.

  14. Your essay is personally something I feel like everyone can relate too and I enjoyed how you said that you realized your mistake and you turned it into a life lesson. But, you could have went more in depth in some parts, for example which exact guidance counselor’s helped you. Overall, it was a good essay.

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