12 thoughts on “Feedback for Jazmin Castillo Martinex”

  1. I really liked your essay, it was full of details that really explained what was going on and how your felt. The ending of your essay was really inspiring to me and I liked that a lot. Something you should of maybe added is the country that you came from

  2. Your essay was really detailed and had a good choice of words. Overall it was well written and in depth with your experience in high school. I like that you mentioned the American Dream because it can be applied to a lot of people in high school that are dealing with obstacles.

  3. I really enjoyed your essay, it hooked me in and inspired me. I really liked the fact that you added the American Dream because its something that a lot of people can relate to; your essay was detailed and overall I think it was good.

  4. I like your essay it was very interesting. Also the American dream is something that a lot of people could relate to. Something you could add is the country where you from. Overall it was good I really enjoy it.

  5. I really enjoyed this essay, it was a great point of you including the American Dream which is a very big thing people still try to achieve. There was much details which was really good and this is something that many people can relate to. You can probably add what the American dream to you and how it helped you.

  6. I really enjoyed reading your essay on your difficulties. You gave good details on the struggles you faced on how it impacted you. Adding the American dream was a good thing to talk about since it’s something so many people believe in. If any improvements where to be made, it’d just be a few grammar errors and adding what country your from so the reader could get a background of that.

  7. I love the details , especially how you talked about entering the first day of 10th grade at Thomas Jefferson, I Also like that I saw a couple of similes. I think it would be nice if you go into depth about how being a “gringa” made you feel , also it seems like your grandmother gave you a lot of advice, maybe you can talk about her a little more

  8. I like how you started your essay its something that instantly catches the readers attention, I also like how you mentioned how you struggled growing up due to being a Spanish speaker but looking American it really shows how people are quick to make assumptions due to appearance.  I liked how you ended your essay as well making readers feel motivated to follow their dreams. Overall, I found your essay very interesting but would definitely add more details about how you overcame this struggle and how going through this made you feel.

  9. The start of the essay was really well presented because it captures the reader’s attention, and helps them in being interested to read more. There is a line of detail that is very satisfying with this writing. Although I am only an English speaking person, the details helps me understand what it’s like to struggle as someone who does not speak English.

  10. Your essay was well written especially the intro, that really caught my attention. i like the details you used about how your first language was spanish but looked like you spoke english, the details you used made it better to really interpret your problem. If i can give you any advice, it would be to watch for small grammar mistakes.

  11. I really liked what you said about “American dream” that it could become nightmare because of the obstacles. you had lot of details throughout your essay. I want know more about how you felt when people called you ” Gringa”. I really enjoyed reading your story.

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