[SFD] What changed my view of education

Besides what was previously said to me about not having a drive, I do have another key factor in what changed my narrative on schooling. It’s less of just one simple reason though, as it breaks down to multiple. Some dealt by the sociological standpoint of things. In my years of learning under multiple teachers and seeing different ways of seeing their tone of speaking and how they portray themselves, they’re aware of how they stand in our lives, the students. The first way I feel like they treat students is sort of a hivemind situation, where they go along of what’s generally right. Even to what seems like something as minor, if they feel like it’s a personal attack on them, no matter what it actually is, then they have the power and status as an adult and teacher to oppress you with that status. Especially when we’re younger, and more impressionable and less critical of what’s being provided to us. Whenever a person would act out of “line” or “unacceptably” they would being on the receiving end of a punishment, which isn’t the right way of doing things. I feel like the reinforcement of personal issues mattering than strict rules isn’t something you should be forced to abide by. My main example was the personal time where I was asked to hand my teacher a water bottle which I had been bottle flipping, which was a bog thing at the time. She was halfway across the classroom, about 4 rows of tables and chairs down from me, and yet she held out her hands from that distance. In my mind, this seemed as if she wanted for me to just throw it towards her. So I did. For the time being, I spent the rest of the day in the office of administration, explaining how I didn’t assault her and it was just me throwing a bottle to an adult who was staring right at me and had their hands wide open in a baseball 1st base stance. Complete and utter core memory inside of that school.

 

Another factor about teachers that I caught on to, thankfully early, was that they’re human, just like us. When I first found this out, I didn’t think to much of it, as it was in 8th grade, a teacher kept missing mistakes on a few questions during a mathematics lecture. Then, I used it through a different standpoint, through the thoughts they portray, through the lessons they teach, and even through the words they speak. To make this more accessible, I’ll just go through the words they speak, yea? When students in older years would start to become more disruptive and make fools out of themselves, the teachers would always, without fail, throw jabs at what they’re future could possibly look like. Now this may not seem like a big thing, but this is not only a massive observation on the person stating this’ character, this is completely uncalled for and a big reason why students lack drive in classes. When those insults are said, this shows the teacher’s personal HUMAN views, and how it’s not necessarily their fault alone. It’s the fault of generations who pass down beliefs that people who haven’t succeeded are either homeless, working minimum wage or just strung out on drugs. This is not the case, almost ever, and for them to say these things blatantly is just a horrible mindset to have. So while knowing the teachers/professors are people just like us, it’s also as justifiable to have a problem with the way they think or prop themselves towards ideologies. Thinking people are any less because of their situation in life only shines how uninformed the person in question is. Just because they’re like us doesn’t change the fact that we will have things we disagree on, and the factor I mentioned isn’t something that can be idly swiped under the rug.

My whole thing here isn’t to bash teachers. I feel most of my teachers (mainly Ms. Geller from 9th grade Writing Seminar) were amazing at their jobs. The only problem I have is this view of teachers being completely justified, always right and an example of a moral compass. The core problem with this is the manipulation factor that I have experienced due to this. My biggest annoyance in life is people who wriggle their way into things they don’t deserve by any means necessary, and an English teacher I had was definitely one of them.  Whilst I was still trying to find my place in who I wanted to be as s student and learner, I had one teacher who had favorites, and anyone else would never get any attention, whether is be for tutoring, or help getting grades up. In this fact, if I were to reach out to her in attempt to ask about boosting my grade through extra work, I would be met with how it was my fault for not getting the work done in the first place, which is of course understandable. My issue stemmed from the fact that DIRECTLY after that, she would allow an easy amount of work which would generously boost those select group of kids grades. I always held a grudge on her for that, and barely missed too much work, but I did do a lot of it wrong since I didn’t understand her content. I feel like no matter how much I asked, I would never get an accurate response to my questions or sufficient help to my worries. When the end of the semester came around, I accepted my lower ended grade and just settled to get better teachers the next time around, but apparently she thought otherwise. She attempted to embarrass me in what I feel as the most disappointing way possible. When it came to grades rolling around for the PTC, we had to meet with all teachers, and most gave good responses, but we had her for last since she was my lowest grade at the time, like a 65. She made up a sob story about how I was super disrespectful, which granted, I was when I realized she was juts playing with my grade, but I was a dumb 8th grader, you know? She proceeded to lie about how I’d never try to pass and I’d just goof around all class and give no effort to even learning the curriculum. Thing is, all my classes were in the high end 80s. So that didn’t make sense, but apparently to my pops it did. He made an excuse about a reason of how I could have failed and left disappointed? Honestly never really saw teachings the same after her, really tainted classes for me.

 

All in all, I believe that everyone is justified to their opinions and biases of the educational system, and that includes all pros and cons. What I may have experienced  in my time could be flipped by someone else’s experience in their time. My problem was, in general, the fact that they take their positions in some instances either too seriously or not seriously enough, as it should be a balance. The power of pushing knowledge onto a generation is something that shouldn’t be taken lightly but also something that should be handled with ease and care. You should not allow personal preference or ideologies effect what it means to educate, and just stick to providing students with the best learning experience on the topic you teach. Three factors I have come across have been the social idea of hivemind behavior, where if one person thinks one way, in order to not stick out, you will usually place yourself in between that thinking process. Another being the psychological attacks of character based on personal beliefs, even though they are both unjustified and incorrect. The third factor is the position of power they’re placed at, which allows for no room of doubt, even if evidence is placed of negating what you’re being accused. These have left a stain on my learning perspective and ever since, I just try to do what I can to pass and get on with classes, nothing more and nothing less.

School could be a scam (shitty first drafts)

     From a very young age I was always told by my parents that you need an education to be successful. They stressed the need for me to utilize my time in school and value my opportunities. My mom, as I’m sure many other people’s parents have, would sometimes make examples out of homeless people or drugged up people; and tell me there at that point because they didn’t stay in school and you don’t want to be like them. Me, being as young as I was, took this very seriously because I really didn’t want to end up like those people. If somehow doing well in school could ensure that everything went right me for me, that’s what I wanted.  

     I went hard for good grades until about 8th grade, that’s when I started to not care as much for the high scores and just did what I needed to do. By the end of 9th is when I want to say my views on education started to change. I think it was the fact that when you get into high school and time passes, you start to realize how much closer you are to actually being an adult and having different responsibilities. You are also introduced to many new things that you’ve never done or seen before. When you start to realize all the things the world has in store for you and what you want to do with your life, you start to wonder what quadratic formula or radioactive isotopes has to do with your life; unless of course you aspire to be something having to do with those things. You start to learn about things such as taxes, credit/debit cards and resumes just to name a few, but why is it that not even a small portion of any of the information that is certain to be useful and applicable to us when we get older is not taught in high school normally and isn’t taught in college? Realizing just how many useful things you have to learn on your own when I’m in a learning environment for 8 hours getting taught information that I’m not going to have recollection of in the next year; definitely contributes to the change of view. 

          The classes and grades in general also contributed to the fact as well. Another thing you realize as you get older in school is that grades don’t have anything to do with how smart someone actually is, even though many people seem to believe that. In school you’re given material and then you are tested to see how well you retain and/or present that information you retained. This ruined the rewarding feeling of high marks for me in a way; and for a class like chemistry that doesn’t appeal to me at all, I couldn’t care less for a 90+ grade. Even from the beginning of high school it was apparent to me that many people do the bare minimum to get a passing grade; and regardless of that fact for the most part in classes your just memorizing things for that one test that you need to pass in the long run.  

           In many cases a lot of the classes were boring or weren’t taught by the right teachers which changed my views as well. For example, throughout middle school English was my favorite subject and all my teachers knew what time it was when it came to English. I used to always do well in my English classes love to get my points/thoughts across, have debates and discuss the different topics with all my friends. I even took the English regents in 8th grade and managed to get a 91 on it. When I got into high school, I realized that we were doing the same things I was doing in middle school and the flow of the class was nothing like how my old one was; because of this I started despising English there was just nothing interesting about the class. Thankfully, in the AP English class I got we were talking about real world things and analyzing them so I got back into English. On the other hand, adding those bad classes to online learning made things a whole lot worse due to the fact that many of the teachers didn’t know what they were doing or let online learning change their teaching. This made me ready to leave high school as there was just nothing worth being there for.  

           From a young age I always thought staying in school were imperative to my success but as I’ve gone through school my views on education changed in different ways. High school was where many of the realizations I’ve had were made and I’ve been showed that there are so many important things that you’ll never see in a school’s curriculum. 

language journey

Throughout all of elementary, middle, and high school my experience with language and learning was not too good. I struggled with so many aspects of language to the point i thought I was dumb and not smart enough. I had plenty of teachers to guide me and teach me, but I was still not reaching grade level. It was to the point where my mom decided to put me in an IEP class because of how poor I was in not only english language but in other subjects. Being put in an IEP has its pros and cons but at the end of day it helped with my main subjects that I’ve been struggling to understand.I began to see two different teachers around 3rd grade. I would be removed from my class to see another teacher with a bunch of different kids. During this time I was annoyed by the class and thought it was useless. I hated being removed from my main classes to learn something at a much slower pace. I also felt very excluded from everyone else, all my friends were together and I was always left out of everything. Some mornings I would have to be at my IEP class instead of outside with my friends. My experience with IEP in elementary school was annoying mainly because I was never really looking forward to getting removed from class to sit in another class room for two hours each day. As I began middle school my mom decided that she was going to keep me in IEP because she saw no progress. I thought IEP was going to be different in middle school where i dint get removed from class but unfortunately it was the same as in elementary school. I had two different IEP teachers throughout middle school, one wasn’t as helpful as the other but I still learned something from being in that class. Something i started to realize was that the students would make fun of me or others in an IEP, they did not realize what the class was for and just assumed the class was for dumb students. Middle school really opened my eyes and made me realize that an IEP was only to benefit me and made me appreciate my teacher even more. Not only was I learning a lot more than the previous years, I also built a relationship with my teachers. In high school I began to notice that I no longer needed an IEP towards my last few years. My overall performance in school was better than normal. My teachers began to suggest that I be removed from IEP so my mom did what she thought was best and removed me. Being without it started to become a problem for me when I began to take my regents or any AP exam. I was always so used to having extra time on my exams to the point I started to depend on it. I’m a slow test taker and I needed way more time to finish my tests than the other students. During my SAT I had only limited time to take my test which led to me not finishing it on time and getting a very poor score. I was extremely devastated by this outcome because I knew that the SAT was extremely important for college. Luckily for me, due to covid colleges were making SAT scores optional. My problem with IEP was that I was relying on it too much towards the end. Having that extra time on tests was good but it never prepared me for when I won’t have extra time on tests, for example in college. It prepared me for harder levels but did not prepare me for tests. Another major problem I faced throughout middle, and high school was the stereotypes students were

putting out about IEP. It wasn’t easy hearing other students make fun of me and others in the IEP class, saying that we were dumb and not fit for the school. Made me second guess myself and my ability to learn which prevented me from actually trying. Even my friends would question me about the class and ask me why I was in it. They knew why but just wanted me to feel bad about myself. Overall my relationship with the educational system has taught me to embrace certain academic problems and learn from them. Learning from it has helped me be more prepared for more advanced classes in the future.