Everyone has a different perspective of school. Some people love it others like me hated it. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t try to pass. In fact passing was my only goal for a while. I didn’t care about what they taught as long as I passed with a high grade I was happy.
Ever since I was born I have had asthma. For those of you who don’t know asthma is a type of disease that effects the lungs and airways. There is no cure to asthma only temporary treatments. Because of asthma I had troubles breathing and was sent to the nurses office or sent back home. I rarely attended class so I was given worksheets instead, I didn’t get to learn with other classmates only the nurse helped me or my brother. My brother helped me a lot with the worksheets so I didn’t have to try that hard to pass my classes. The best part was that every time I passed my class I was rewarded by my parents. They rewarded me with games, clothes, even trips outside of the state. I didn’t learn much but at least I got through. However this changed after a few years.
Asthma can progress overtime, it can get worse or better. In my case it was a lot easier to control because I learned how to use the medication and treat myself. By this time I’m already in middle school and instead of heading home after an asthma attack, I would just go back to class. The days felt longer and I had a lot more work to get done. It felt completely different from having someone else guide me through a worksheet. Now I was struggling to pass because I wasn’t used to working alone but luckily my friends from my elementary also came to this middle school. I thought about how I should approach them, whether to ask for them to show me the answers or for them to show me how to do it. At that moment I felt like I shouldn’t have people do all the work for me and instead I should learn how to do something myself. Asking them to teach me felt really weird, it felt like admitting that I wasn’t as smart as them which was true and I hated feeling that way. I wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t be behind them and instead be the one they ask for help instead. I studied at night alone to make sure I truly understood what to do after all I could ask for help during test. Usually I’m nervous during test and relied on cheating by seeing someone else answer, but sitting there looking at my paper, it all seemed so easy to do. It felt good to be able to pass on my own. I even started to help other friends who would start to fall behind.
High school was a weird experience, some of the kids there cared about their grades while others barely passed. The students that were barely passing didn’t care about their grades, they only hanged out with each other and ignore the work. It was then I started to get lazy with my work, I did the same thing they were doing. I hanged out with them often and would turn in work late. My grades started to drop but not because I had problems understanding its just that I wanted to be more social and hang out with my friends. My uncle who is a lot older than me began to tell me that I should go back to working on my grades. When I asked him why he started to talk about when he wasn’t able to go to college. When he passed high school he had to get a job to support his brothers and sisters. He was refused multiple jobs because he didn’t have the requirements. He needed to have a degree to show he understood how to do the work but he never got the chance until recently. After hearing this I just knew that I didn’t wanted to be refused because I didn’t go to college and learn.
Now that I am in college I see that all of my experiences were crucial to make the person I am today. I know what its like to not be as smart as other but I know that if I work hard and if I’m determined I can accomplish my goal. And that I shouldn’t get lazy and stop trying half-way through. That would just make all my efforts till now meaningless. Even if I’m not at my best right now I can keep trying and improve on myself.
