Author: Emilycalderon (Page 4 of 6)

  “But a black child, looking at the world around him, though he cannot know quite what to make of it, is aware that there is a reason why his mother works too hard, why his father is always on edge”. This line really made me not know what to say because it’s just sad that we all have the same body parts and we are divided by a skin color and have to experience life on eggshells just because we look different. 

“He is part of a country in which anyone can become president, and so forth. But on the other hand he is also assured by his country and his countrymen that he has never contributed anything to civilization, that his past is nothing more than a record of humiliation gladly endured. This quote is crazy to me because James is being very blunt about everything and I like it. Yes James speaks the truth and doesn’t hold back.

“But children are very different.Children, not yet aware that it is dangerous to look too deeply at anything”. This quote is so right because children are so pure and gullible  they don’t know the dangers of anything going on. It’s up to their parents and society to really shape them. I wonder if we all got along how would these children grow up?

“He becomes a kind of criminal because that’s the only way he can live”. This is so real because most people don’t have the choice to not be a criminal they are forced too because of their life circumstances and surroundings. 

   What I feel that James Baldwin is saying is that there’s so much more than what we are shown. He states “I would try to make them know that those streets, those houses, those dangers, those agonies by which they are surrounded, are criminal. I would try to make each child know that these things are the result of a criminal conspiracy to destroy him. I would teach him that if he intends to get to be a man, he must at once decide that he is stronger than this conspiracy and that he must never make peace with it’’. What I’m getting from this is that these children of color are held back from bigger things because of the environment and what they are told that there are bigger things out for them around. That there is so much more than criminal environments that they need to be pushed to see bigger things out there, that their life isn’t always the way they are living, they have that ability to expand and explore everything. They just need that push away from it that reality check like hey your life doesn’t have to be like this don’t settle for less settle for more have high expectations the world is larger than this. Something i wish i was taught in school was how to be street smart or the dangers of the outside world in all aspects that not everyone is what they make it to seems i would of wished that i was taught to have thicker skin at  a young age so i could grow up stronger and not have to go through experiences to learn. I would have wanted to learn any of those topics other than math and sciences but learn something that would benefit me as a person growing up in this dangerous world. 

The sun was shining throughout the tall classroom windows. I would describe it as a peaceful hot day. I was 16 years old sitting in a classroom in the lower east side on a summer hazy day. You could hear a pin drop. It was the perfect scene. I was in math class with 4 desks made into a table surrounding me sitting alone. My other classmates sat together and worked on the math problems due they seemed to know what to do. I had the school’s laptop opened up to kalans academy. I felt pure emptiness and stress. I was overwhelmed staring at this laptop and worksheet. As time passed I sat there choked up. I felt like a failure struggling with something that the class knew in a heartbeat. I felt my emotions and frustrations getting to me. I cried in silence because crying over a math problem is a different type of hurt. I whipped away my tears and walked to my next class like nothing but deep deep inside. I was so hurt because it felt like I was against a wall with no way through. 

  Throughout highschool i struggled tremendously with mathematics, barely hanging on. I had transferred highschools due to some issues I had and then had a teacher I didn’t quite understand their teaching ways. I’d literally sit there listening to the material go through one ear and exit the other. As if that wasn’t already enough. Then the pandemic hit everything went online. Being solo just threw me off mentally. I felt like I had no hope. I realized that I had to get it together. It was either drown or swim. I chose to swim but I had to do it for myself. I had to learn to really focus. I teamed up with a peer and had 1 on 1 sessions with my teacher and saw progress. Simply putting in work gives a greater outcome. In the end I slowly became in love with mathematics and helped peers in need. I slowly progressed as a student, graduating with a high grade in class. It changed how I view school material. Anyone can do it just by putting in the work. 

  I always thought that school was so hard, especially mathematics. Prior to the experiences I had earlier in highschool I’d catch myself having mental breakdowns every now and then from the overwhelming fear of failing. Id honestly blame it on school like fuck why is this so hard why cant i get it like everyone else or id even blame it on my teacher. I understand all teachers have their ways of teaching but it took me sometime to realize that yes it might be hard to learn from people because not everyone teaches the same but they are all teaching the same thing. With time I put it in my head that I can be comfortable in the school system and that I’m not automatically going to understand the material easily. I also used to say that the school system was trash that’s why I wasn’t learning. Everything in life will be a challenge and a rollercoaster, something unavoidable so I decided to take on that challenge and figure it out. Having one on one sessions with my “unlearnable” teacher opened up my eyes that it’s not the school system’s fault why I’m failing. Yes it might have its bad tweeks but the world is in my hands and the only thing that’ll change everything starts with myself. 

  It changed the way I viewed school because I slowly realized throughout that it was all in my hands. My future was in my hands. My view went from a negative mind set to a more open minded mindset that school isn’t so bad after all nor is it out to get me to fail. It’s simply just trying to challenge me so I can get further in life but at first it was hard to understand that. Now I’m well aware that school is a very important thing to do in life. It really can change you or break you. Having my younger siblings and cousins in school is interesting because I hear them talking about the classes I took and how much they hate school because it’s so hard or boring. I try my very best to educate them, tutor them and really try to be that meteor for them for school because I didn’t have that. I always try to give them little chats about how everything is in their hands not to get distracted and to really focus because they can really thrive. I always try to explain to them that school isn’t a jail cell even though it might seem like it.it’s actually their escape from whatever we have going on now. I’m really glad to have gotten it together in school. It wouldn’t have started if it wasn’t for me. Now I’m happy to be in school and learning new things. I’m so so ready for whatever challenges I have next in my chapters.

 The sun was shining throughout the tall classroom windows. I would describe it as a peaceful hot day. I was 16 years old sitting in a classroom in the lower east side on a summer hazy day. You could hear a pin drop. It was the perfect scene. I was in math class with 4 desks made into a table surrounding me sitting alone. My other classmates sat together and worked on the math problems due they seemed to know what to do. I had the school’s laptop opened up to kalans academy. I felt pure emptiness and stress. I was overwhelmed staring at this laptop and worksheet.As time passed I sat there choked up. I felt like a failure struggling with something that the class knew in a heartbeat. I felt my emotions and frustrations getting to me. I cried in silence because crying over a math problem is a different type of hurt. I whipped away my tears and walked to my next class like nothing but deep deep inside. I was so hurt because it felt like I was against a wall with no way through. 

  Throughout highschool i struggled tremendously with mathematics, barely hanging on. I had transferred highschools due to some issues I had and then had a teacher I didn’t quite understand their teaching ways. Then the pandemic hit everything went online. Being solo just threw me off. I felt like I had no hope. I learned to really focus. I teamed up with a peer and had 1 on 1 sessions with my teacher and saw progress. Simply putting in work gives a greater outcome. In the end I slowly became in love with mathematics and helped peers in need. I slowly progressed as a student graduated with a high grade in class. It changed how I view school material. Anyone can do it just by putting in the work.