#5, 2 parts, A and B:
A: Essay Outline due Sunday 7p as comment below this post
B: (Full Essay 2 draft) due Monday 7p as separate post (categorize under āEssay 2 Feedbackā)
NOTE: For those of you who Iāve told to work on Grammar & Paragraphingāand for anyone wanting extra creditāplease do the Grammar & Paragraphing exercises (3 of them) and share your responses as a comment on that post.
A due Sunday 7/26, 7p:
—Read the Essay 2 assignment.
—Read the first two Essay 2 articlesāon protests during the pandemicāto get ideas for your essay:
–Rep. Ken Buck, āFirst lockdowns, then riots ā here’s how left’s hypocrisy added fuel to the fireā
–Open Letter Advocating for an Anti-Racist Public Health Response
–Brainstorm and outline for your Essay 2.Ā Post an essay outline containing the following items below as a comment responding to this post:
Essay 2 Outline
–Topic:
–Title/Author of an Article on this Topic you will summarize (can be one of the above readings):
–Your thesis (on whether and how protests should be happening during the Covid pandemicāand your reasons why
–Reason 1 supporting your thesis (topic of body paragraph 1)
–Reason 2 supporting your thesis (topic of body paragraph 2)
–1 related story you can tell that will support your thesis (3-4 notes on the key events and characters of this story will be fine for now)
–1 quotation from the article youāve chosen that you want to discuss
–1 counter-argument (a perspective that disagrees with your thesis/opinion)
–1 point you will make to refute the counter-argument (why you think the counter-argument is wrong)
B, due Monday 7/27, 7p
–Write your full Essay 2 draft and create you own post containing an upload/link to your essay.Ā When posting, remember to choose the category āEssay 2 Feedback.ā <<<< If youāve posted correctly, your post will show up there under that link.
Shalamar Mercharles
outline
Topic: Mass protest during the coronavirus pandemic.
Title:Open letter advocating for an anti-racist public health response to demonstrations against systemic injustice occurring during the COVID-19 pandemic
Author:
Thesis:I believe that we should still be able to protest during covid-19. We have a very important message to get across and nothing should stop us.
Paragraph 1
-We should be able to protest because of what we have to go through.
Paragraph 2
-black people are put in situations where they will end up more stressed.black people are more susceptible to covid.
Story
-My friend Jaden went to a protest
-the peaceful protest was fine
-everyone got tear gassed and shot with rubber bullets
Question
-how can we get everyone equal health care?
Counter argument
-what about all the riots that happen during protest
-black people are tired. It’s been too long for people to still have to go through this.riots are mostly started by white people as well.
Thanks, Shalamar. A few thoughts:
–You want your main points in your paragraphs to connect back to your thesis. It’s not yet clear enough (to me) how the points you want to make in your paragraphs will support your thesisāthat is, how these points will explain to your reader WHY they should believe your thesis is correct. Can you make your points for your paragraphs more specific and also explain more clearly how they support your thesis?
–Missing: a quotation from the article you intend to discuss.
–I think you could use your story as part of your response to your counter-argument. Do you see the connection? If not, e-mail me!
Kenyah logan
7/26/2020
Essay 2 Outline
Topic- Too much protesting and looter during covid-19?
Title- āfirst lockdown then riots- here how left hypocrisy added fuel to the fireā
Thesis- i do believe people should be able to protest but they should take care of their health as well.
Reason 1
When we are protesting shouldn’t you have a mask on?
Reason 2
You should protest for the right reason only.
Story
-some of my family went to go protest
– nobody really had their mask on
– they was knocked down by some looters
Quotations- ā In dallas, a store owner was beaten unconscious by individuals who certainly were not honoring george floyd memoryā
Counter argument- ā the only reason why they are riots and looter is because they are in so much pain and nobody hearing them so they have to express they feelings someway
Refute the counter-argument–
I understand i’m mad too but there are ways you can express your feelings without destroying and hurting people. You are showing people who claim you are monster that you are
Great initial outline, Kenyah. A few thoughts:
–You want to make a bit clearer how your main point in your paragraph #2 connects back to your thesis. Can you make this point more specific and also explain more clearly how it supports your thesis?
–I think you could use your story as part of your first point (in para #1-2). Do you see the connection? If not, e-mail me!
–I assume you will provide more context for your quotation and fit it in with your counter-argument perhaps?
Aldo Pena
Topic: Global Protests during the outbreak of Covid-19
Title: āFirst Lock downs, then riots – hereās how leftās hypocrisy added fuel to the fire.
Thesis: Protesting during the pandemic shouldn’t be a problem, our message must be heard.
Reason 1: Protesting is needed even in times like this because of the brutal excessive force that police use.
Reason 2: peaceful protesting shouldn’t be disturbed by violence.
Story: Iāve seen many videos from friends at a protest.
Police always seem to answer with violence
Quotations: āNow more than ever, we need peace, order and faith as our country reels following the senseless death of George Floyd.ā
Counter Argument: Those who riot are not a part of the movement.
Refute Counter Argument: I feel like those who riot are part of the movement but they just choose to loot and steal from those big brands and stores that have the power to make a change or even leave a big impact but decide to stay quiet during times like this.
Thanks, Aldo–nice to read your initial thoughts for Essay 2.
Can you choose a more specific story from one of the protests to describe? I encourage you to focus on 1 individual video for now and tell the specific actions that unfold in that video; then, link those actions to the points you are making in your paragraphs.
In addition to your current counter-argument, can you address another counter-argument, please? I want you to consider the point raised by Shalamar aboveāthat people of color have been disproportionately affected by Covid. Might protests then put POC even more at danger, then?
Daniel buduen jr
āTopic: covid-19 affecting protest and its protestors
āTitle/Author of an Article :(First lock downs, then riots ā here’s how left’s hypocrisy added fuel to the fire)by ken buck
(Anti-racist public health response)signed by 1,288 public professionals,infection diseases professionals,and community stakeholders
-thesis: (nothing should hold anybody back from speaking out and sharing their mind but with safety measures)
āReason 1 supporting your thesis (topic of body paragraph 1)stand up for Americansā First Amendment rights
ā1 related story you can tell that will support your thesis ( āpublic health advocates, we do not condemn these gatherings as risky for COVID-19 transmissionā.)
ā1 quotation from the article youāve chosen that you want to discuss:(Listen, and prioritize the needs of Black people as expressed by Black voices.)
ā1 counter-argument:(The Constitution does not protect or condone setting churches ablaze, looting stores and destroying propertyā.)
ā1 point you will make to refute the counter-argument: (protest are known to to get a point heard which is good but there is also a bad side to protest and it’s looters and people being destructive to properties.people in protest sometimes use violence because to them it seems like itās the only way for their voice can be heard and shared around the world.)
Thanks, Daniel. Here’s some thoughts for refining this:
–I don’t think you need all of your parentheses () ; in fact, I think you could get rid of all of them. (You only need parentheses when making a side comment or explanation.)
–Can you choose a more specific story from one of the protests to describe? I’m not clear on what your story is.
–In your refutation, I’m not quite clear yet on what you’re saying: do you think riots are always a part of protests? It sounds like that’s what you’re saying but I’m not sure that’s right…
–In addition to your current counter-argument, can you address another counter-argument, please? I want you to consider the point raised by Shalamar aboveāthat people of color have been disproportionately affected by Covid. Might protests then put POC even more at danger, then?
Stephanie Cabrera
#5) Essay 2 Outline
Topic: Deadly Protesting During Coronavirus Pandemic
Title: āOpen letter Advocating for an anti-racist public health response to Demonstration against systemic injustice occurring during the COVID-19ā- āFirst lockdown, then Riots -hereās how leftās Hypocrisy added fuel to the fire.ā
Thesis: Protest should be happening. It is one of the ways our voices are heard, and it is the start of making a difference in the inequality that had been going on for centuries that justice should finally be served. I believe there could be better ways to protest during this pandemic as in spreading one another out helping one another stay safe and follow protocols in this way we speak for justice and not losing family members because many decide to think itās not important.
Paragraph #1: If the government handles the rioters and the looters, we can have a better peaceful protest. We are no monsters breaking our own communities. Rioters and looters make us look bad.
Paragraph #2: there shouldnāt be that by the color of your skin your at higher risk of expose to covid-19 there is no difference we all same humans bodies it donāt change any of us our black citizens ,our Hispanics citizens have the right to protest for their rights and fight for justice. For all equal as one.
1 Related story:
I have fellow friends that has gone to many protests and they go prepared and following the rules of mask, 6 feet and they have mention it is no where near social distancing which in my opinion I believe it should be addressed and ways to make it better where we fight together and stay safe together. Yet how many are destroying and fighting in harming ways almost in killing each other.
1 quote to discuss: āThe Constitution does not protect or condone setting churches ablaze, looting stores and destroying property.ā
Counter Argument:
Yes, Protest is a way to heard but is it worth playing Russian roulette with someone you get in contact with?
Refute:
Protesting is right to do, but itās a risk you taking during this deathly virus could be that you can protest and be asymptomatic and survive but person next to you may not .
Steph, thanks. Some suggestions:
–I’m not yet sure on what your points are in para #1-2. Para 1 has multiple points in itāinvolving the government’s role and then the role of protesters and then the role of rioters. Can you address these different groups of people and the points you are making about them in different paragraphs? As for para #2, are you saying it shouldn’t be the case that people of color are affected disprorportionately by the virus? Or are you denying that POC have been more affected? (I belive this is established as a fact, but maybe I’m wrong–feel free to correct me if I am.)
–Can you be more specific with the story you will tell about what your friends did at the protests? I’m not yet clear on what your story is or how it will connect to your thesis.
–In your refutation, I’m not quite clear yet on what you’re saying: do you think riots are always a part of protests? It sounds like that’s what you’re saying but I’m not sure that’s right…
–Can you refine your current current counter-argument and refutation? I want you to consider the point raised by Shalamar aboveāthat people of color have been disproportionately affected by Covid. Might protests then put POC even more at danger, then?
Jada Bennett
Monroe Street
ENG92 Writing
26 July 2020
Topic: People have been protesting massively during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Title: ā First lockdowns, then riots- hereās how leftās hypocrisy added fuel to the fireā-Rep. Ken Buck
Thesis- Protesting is a good thing for when you want to fight for whatās right.However, not during a COVID -19 pandemic.
Reason 1- Meanwhile protesting, youāre surrounded by a bunch of people when you’re supposed to be socially distancing.
Reason 2- Protestors have taken it a little too with looting,damaging business , even getting hurt by the police.
Related Stories-
My friend Nyah went to go protest and it turned out to be so dangerous and reckless that she had to leave immediately.
Protestors were getting hit with rubber bullets and injured very badly.
Quotation- āYet, as these vigilantes take to the street, I have yet to hear any state or local leaders cry āsocial distancingā and break up these mass gatherings out of coronavirus concerns.ā
Counter argument- āI will always stand up for Americansā First Amendment rights ā whether it be peacefully protesting or practicing their faith. However, in no way is the behavior we are seeing a peaceful demonstration.ā
Refute the counter argument- The behavior isnāt right, but what would you have expected? We have been going through this for a long time and people have reached their point where something needs to be done. Voices and feelings needed to be heard and that was their breakpoint to do so.
Thanks, Jada. Is this *your* thesis or Buckās? I want YOURS here (and if you agree with Buck thatās fine; but itās also fine if you disagree with him). Some other notes:
āIām not yet sure on what your points are in para #1-2 because the wording throws me off a bit. Can you go over the wording to make these points super clear?
āBe as specific as you can with your story about Nyahāand tie this in with your points in paragraphs 1-2.
āCan you be more specific with the story you will tell about what your friends did at the protests? Iām not yet clear on what your story is or how it will connect to your thesis.
āIn your refutation of the counter-argument, Iām not quite clear yet on how what youāre saying connects to your thesis; your refutation seems to go against your thesis, but perhaps this is because of your thesis not yet being your thesis but rather being Buckās thesis? Are you wanting to stand up for the displays of violence at the protests? If so, how does this relate to your claim earlier that people should be social distancing at protests?
Para#1- Social distancing is a major problem. People are protesting in a massive crown when they’re not suppose to.
Para#2-Protestors weren’t following rules such as curfew to go looting and damaging business.
Related Stories
When my friend Nyah went to go protest, it was getting so over crowed and dangerous, that people were falling on top of each other and she saw that people either didn’t have a mask on or if police was throwing tear gas, people started to gag and cough drastically.
My refutation of the counter argument- The fact that people were protesting during a pandemic was not much of a good idea. I feel like if you want to express how you feel towards what’s happening in the world , it’s ways to go around it without looting and physically fighting the police. That isn’t making it no better and being in a crowd like that is very unhealthy especially because we were in a pandemic.
Paulina Vega
Topic: Protesting during covid 19
Title/Author: Open Letter Advocating for an Anti-Racist Public Health Response
Thesis: I believe people should be allowed to protest during a pandemic because it is the first amendment right and there are ways to take health precautions to keep yourself and other protesters safe.
Reason 1
Every American has the right to the first amendment and having their voices heard.
Reason 2
People protesting are taking the health precautions to prevent the spread of COVID-19 and having their voices heard at the same time.
Story
– My best friend Madina went to a peaceful protest
-During the protest people were taking health precautions like wearing a mask or face shield
-There were no violent interactions between protestors and law enforcement
Quotation
āHowever, as public health advocates, we do not condemn these gatherings as risky for COVID-19 transmission.ā
āThis letter is signed by 1,288 public health professionals, infectious diseases professionals, and community stakeholders.ā
Counter argument
Ever since these protests have occurred violence has increased through the representation of riots and looters which are harming communities instead of helping communities.
Refute
The people who are protesting are not the same people who are creating violence through riots and looters. The people protesting only have one goal which is to have their voices heard. On the other hand, the riots and looters are people whose goal is to destroy, steal, and harm businesses.
A very strong outline, Pauline. Can I challenge you to consider the following changes?
–Reason 1: Here is a counter-claim that I’d like you to consider. The same claim you are making in defense of BLM hereāāthat Americans are entitled to free speechāācan be applied to racist, homophobic, misogynistic speech as well. People sometimes say racist, homophobic, misogynistic things in public and claim they are in the right because of the First Amendment. How would you respond to this and make clearer why free speech matters more for BLM than it does for racists who use the First Amendment to justify saying hurtful things to people of color?
–Reason 2/Story: Tie in Madina’s story with Reason 2 and be as specific as you can about both. Dive into the details of Madina’s story as best you can and link it to your point about it being possible to protest safely. You could, for instance, discuss whether or not she got sickāand what this shows about the safety of protesting during the pandemic.
–Elaborate more of the details in your refutation: how do you distinguish protesters from looters? Do you think “rioting” is a a way of “having one’s voice heard”? Why/why not?
Thanks.
Lubna Mojumder
7/26/2020
Essay 2 outline
Topic – So much protest and looter at covid -19?
Title – “First lock-down then riots- how the hypocrisy left added fuel to the flamesā
Thesis – I think people should be able to protest but still take care of their health
Reason 1
Protests have taken it a little too with looting,damaging business , even getting hurt
by the police.
Reason 2
We should be able to protest because of what we have to go through.
Story
Some of my neighborhood to go proesters
Noone had on their mask
Question- How can we get everyone equal health care?
Counter argument – The only reason they ‘re riots and looters is that theyāre so uncomfortable and nobody listens to them so they have got to express their feelings homeaway.
Refute Counter Argument, I realize that I’m crazy too, but without harming and hurting other people, there will be ways you can express your feelings. You are showing people who say that you are a monster.
Thanks Lubna–here are some suggestions:
–Reason 1 seems to be missing a word and so I’m getting a bit confused in your sentence. I’m also not clear on how it connects to and supports your thesis. Can you make this connection clearer?
–Reason 2: can you make this more specific? What do you mean by “what we have to go through”?
–Please include more specific details about specific events you heard about or experienced with regard to your neighbors attending mask-less protests.
–I’m not clear on how your counter-argument is working. A counter-argument is usually a claim that disagrees with your thesis. Can you re-word your counter-argument so that it more clearly goes against your thesis that people should be able to protest but still take care of their health?
–Also, in one of your paragraphs, I want you to consider the point raised by Shalamar aboveāthat people of color have been disproportionately affected by Covid. Might protests then put POC even more at danger, then? This could be another counter-argument for you to refute (to show how it’s wrong). But be sure that in your refutations you are giving clear reasons why you think the counter-argument is wrong.
–Missing: quotation
Essay
Topic:Are mass protests during the coronavirus pandemic justified and/or viable?
Title:First lockdown ,then riots
Author:Rep.ken Buck
How do you feel when you see everyday deaths number going increase?protests shouldnāt be happening during the Covid pandemi.Covid19 is dangerous for our society and humans body.As we see COVID-19 almost shut our world and our economy going down.
Reason1:shouldnāt go outsides and save lives.
Reason2:Helping government from economic crisis.
Question:why should we care about protest besides the pandemic?
Story
-My relatives who die for COVID-19 only there families know how sad is that. Even though we should care about that Situation.
Quotation
As a result, millions remain out of work. Substance abuse, depression and suicide are on the rise.ā That show how America economic goes now.
Counter claim: There are some people who believed protest should be happening during the COVID-19 pandemic.because they thought first there ri
Nice reading you, Alfaj; here are some suggestions:
–Please make your reasons (in Reason 1 and Reason 2) into complete sentences. They are missing subjects (a person, place, or thing/idea that initiates the action/verb of the sentence. WHO shouldn’t go outside, in Reason 1? Put the WHO in your sentence? I’m not clear on what you mean in Reason 2; reword please.
–For both Reason 1 and Reason 2 you want to make sure they connect to your thesis. Explain this more.
–In your thesis, you assume that deaths from Covid are going up BECAUSE of the protests. You should make this into one of your Reasons/Paragraphs. You will, however, have to explain why you think this is true. (There are several articles I’ve seen that claim there is no significant connection between the protests and the increases in Covid cases; but perhaps you can prove this wrong!)
–I’m very sorry to hear about your losses in your family due to Covid. Can you please go into more detail as you feel comfortable? Then the next step would be to connect your story to your thesis. You could say, for instance, that anyone who has lost a loved one to Covid-19 knows how awful this isāāand, that because of losing a relative to Covid-19, you are aware of the seriousness of the possible consequences of protesting during this time.
–Please choose a quotation that connects to your topic/thesis moreāāor explain how this quotation connects.
THANK YOU.
Topic: Should protest happen during Covid ?
Title/ Author : Open Letter
Thesis: During this Covid pandemic protest should be happening just with precaution.
Reason 1- With the right protection you can protest and be around people without getting covid.
Reason 2- Colored people are dying everyday because of the police.
Story to tell- Protest happening in NYC during the covid outbreak
Quotes from the article- 1). ā Black people are twice as likely to be killed by police compared to white people, but the effects of racism are far more pervasive.ā
2).āWe can show that support by facilitating safest protesting practices without detracting from demonstratorsā ability to gather and demand change. This should not be confused with a permissive stance on all gatherings, particularly protests against stay-home orders.ā
Counter Argument – Some people may say protests have been the cause of ā rising numbersā and are just making covid worse.
Back up for my side- There were no reports of covid numbers rising because people took precaution.
Roman Matlala
Essay 2 outline
Topic: Protest during coronavirus epidemic.
Title: Open Letter Advocating for an Anti-Racist Public Health Response.
Thesis: Protest with extreme measures to ensure people’s safety during the COVID-19 epidemic.
Reason 1: Social distancing, wearing face masks and practicing other methods can help reduce casualties overall.
Reason 2: People took advantage of protest to loot small businesses, this led to tear gas which increased risk of COVID-19.
Related Story: Me walking past a group of protesters and seeing most of them without face masks and bunched up in groups not respecting the 6 feet apart rule.
Quote: āStaying at home, Social distancing, and public masking are effective at minimizing the spread of COVID-19.ā
Counter Argument: some may say that social distancing and staying home may affect our mental health.
1 Point against counter claim: Depression and anxiety caused by COVID-19 can be treated.
Maria Fuentes
Essay 2 outline
āTopic: Mass protest was a bad idea during the pandemic.
āTitle/Author:āOpen Letter Advocating for an Anti-Racist Public Health Response
āYour thesis: People should be more cautious when protesting and know that their health and other peopleās health are more important.
āReason 1: Many people have died during the protest. Either they got infected with the virus or killed with a weapon.
āReason 2: Stores were getting robbed.
ā1 related story:
Friends went to protest
Places were being looted
There was a big crowd with no mask on, they said.
ā1 quotation: āheavily armed and predominantly white protesters entered the State Capitol building in Lansing, Michigan, protesting stay-home orders and calls for widespread public masking to prevent the spread of COVID-19.ā
ā1 counter: Others may not care about their health and just go protest because they want change in the society.
ā1 point: We want to stop the spread of this disease and the deaths that are occurring. People should take action.
Maria, hi–nice outline. Some thoughts for how to strengthen this:
–Be sure you have evidence to support your claims about people dying during the protest. Evidence would be news stories or your own stories that show people being injured and/or infected and/or killed.
–Be as detailed as you can in telling the story of your friends going to the protests. Try to convey everything that you imagine taking place in this story using words that will help your reader imagine what your friends experienced. (You can make some details up if you need to.)
–Refine your counter-argument a little so that it points more directly against your argument that people should be more cautious at protests. You could say something like: Some might argue that there is no need to be so cautious at protests because _______[give some of their reasons for thinking this]. [Then respond] However, I think…..
Atta Tariq
Professor Monroe
ENG92
7/26/19
Topic: Is it safe to protest during a pandemic?
Title: First lockdowns, then riots -hereās how leftās hypocrisy added fuel to the fireā by Ken Beck
Thesis: The protestos should be done peacefully because thereās already a pandemic going on which is affecting those who are interacting with each other without taking precautions likewise, violent protests could make situations more worse and lead to looting and affecting small businesses
Reason 1: How things should be done to stop the spread of corona but also at the same time we need to raise our voices about what happened with George Floyd.
Reason 2: people are protesting for the seek of justice.
Story: people looted some black man stores
Quote: āNow we face a choice between peace and fear, order and anarchy, light and darkness.ā
Counter argument: Thereās some people who are against protesting and saying people shouldnāt protest. It’s helping in the spread of corona and it is affecting all of us.
Refute the counter: I donāt know how people think that when humanity is the biggest religion and cops kill on the basis of religion or color..