Referring to the “Quotation” exercise we worked on in class, quote a passage from Turkle’s chapter titled “Romance.” In your response, include an explanation of the context the quote appears in. What is going on in this part of her essay? What is Turkle discussing in the nearby sentences and paragraphs? Do you notice her using any “elements of narrative”? Who are the “characters” in this essay? Is there “action” or “conflict” that these characters are involved in?
In light of this context, what do you think the significance of the passage you’ve quoted is? What does the quoted passage do to you as a reader? How do you think it contributes to the essay as a whole? Does it develop the “action(s)” Turkle is narrating? Does the passage analyze the “action” or the “characters”? Is Turkle making a “point” in this passage? What exactly is she saying? Explain!
“If people don’t respond to you online, your job is to pretend to not notice.” Most people have a bad habit of looking at a message and not responding immediately or at all. Once they do, you’re suppose to ignore them for a certain amount of time, according to the NOTHING gambit. The characters in this essay is the narrator and her friend Hannah. Hannah texted a senior in her high school and eventually he never responded. When they were in group of circle with senior guy around, she spoke out and questioned why she couldn’t get a respond back and everyone started laughing. This is one action that could’ve been avoided.
I think the significance of this passage is to allow the readers develop a type of understanding. One that allows them to accept rejection and to acknowledge the fact that person could reply back sooner or later. You keep you’re dignity is you don’t nag to someone about not replying fast enough. In Hannah’s case, she made herself seem desperate, as if she was camping on his inbox. Turkle mentioned in the passage “But in the past, the silent treatment was a moment. It could be the beginning of a chase or what led a suitor to abandon hope”. In this quote, I feel she explains that the silent treatment or simply not replying at all, may cause people to become a persistent or hopeless lover.
“Adam thinks electronic communication helped him in his relationship because it allowed him time to craft his writing”
Turkle is trying to say Adam had allot more time to carefully construct his messages before sending them to Tessa, like hes writing an essay each time he messages her, he has time to rewrite or write something completely different. Unlike IRL where we can’t stall conversations because it happens so quickly and we speak whatever is in our mind without thinking. It really shows the pros and cons of having a relationship online/ or digitally.
“Adam says he wanted to be the the more “open” man that Tessa needed. He consoles himself that he gave it his best shot because electronic messaging allowed him to “pause and get it right” in his exchange with Tessa.”
Turtle is trying to discuss because Adam have a online relationship with Tessa he have the time to write down what he is going to say. Also make sure what he says will please her in some way.
“…if you like the looks of someone, you swipe right on your phone. If you’re not interested, you swipe left.”
The significance of this line is that technology has not only influenced who we associate with as friends, but also who we date. The idea that you can be fooled into falling for a total stranger on the internet is not only risky sometimes, but dangerous as you don’t know who you may actually be talking to. Say someone does go ahead with meeting somebody on Tinder, the relationship/friendship may be shallow, as they might have nothing in common at all.
“It’s a game changer.” This short yet spicy quote speaks volume to the whole logic of online identity. In this case, apps. Liam, one of turkel’s ‘subjects’ says that Tinder which is a app basically eliminates the whole pickup line or trying to get to a romantic conversation because the app already does it for him. It’s important because it is so true that apps nowadays take away the traditional approach when speaking to people, some find this bad and some find it great. Personally this speaks to me due to me being very shy and it proves that apps nowadays really do most of the socializing.
“Online , Adam was able to “edit” himself ” , this has a lot to do with people making mistakes in real life and sometimes people can’t correct them selves. Because basically online people can be who they want to be , without people really knowing who they actually are. The context around it talks about how if Adam needs more editing delays , sort of saying like how he needs more time to be the person he wants to be online. And also how he has everything they talked about and their relationship through text. What Turkle is trying to say here is that mistakes can easibly be fixed online. That is mostly the conflict in the passage because people don’t show their true selves online. When everything goes down to a point where you have to reveal yourself you have to do it . That’s when you know if they are interested in you or not. That’s the point Turkle is trying to make. It’s better to be your true self than to “send your representatives” like Chris Rock says in the passage.
The quotation from Turkle’s chapter titled “Romance” that I will refer to is “The Better, Edited, Self”. This passage shows how Adam is troubled by the gap between his online personality, and his in-person self. He tried to present himself as the person wanted to be seen as online, but his “in-person self “didn’t reflect that to his ex Tessa. Which made their relationship sure to fail. In the passage Adam admits to talking to her more thoroughly online because he had time to reflect and revise on what he’s going to say. For example, when Tessa would present Adam with a problem, his “in-person” self would give he advice, which Adam feels is a mistake. so, he believes that “the right thing is usually to say it is hard to imagine her pain but that I am there for her” which his online self can allow him to do.
The point Turkle is trying to make in this passage is that technology makes people in control of the kind of person they want to be seen as.
“A delcine in the ability to form secure attachments”. In this paragraph of Turkles reading, in Friction-free she was relating that quote to studies showing that theres a decline in people forming secure attachments. Do i agree? Of course. You barely speak on the phone with anyone anymore and when your’re in person with someone they tend to have their face in the screen. People now are allowed to have friends text for them to their significant others, so therefore it isnt your words its theirs. In the part of the reading there arent any characters or elements of narrative. The significance of the passage is that Turkle is just stating facts on how technology has made people empathetic. She also explains how courtship is lacking as it did in the past. The getting to know one another first before engaging in anything has died down for the most part. Me as a reader understands it entirely. Growing up in times where you fell asleep of the phone talking to your high school boyfriend, now is where you just text them all day and FaceTime once in a blue moon. Theres plents of apps for meeting someone rather than you meeting a mate in school or at a social event. The part of the essay really relates to what the reading is about because it explains why relationships lack compassion and people lack the affection for another.
The quote from Sherry Turtles novel that really stood out to me is “Chris Rock also said that on our first dates we send out ‘representatives’; we send our best selves. Over time, our representatives can’t do the job and ‘we’ start to show up (pg.198). This quote appears after moments after recalling Adam and Tessa relationship through text. Turtle uses 3rd point of view to explain Adams conflict with Tessa. The significance of the quote is that through social media you are able to send your best selves repeatedly without the there person really noticing who you are. You pose a facade and that is what the other person will notice. In person it is quite different. Presenting yourself to another is difficult when you try to be your best, especially when you are not. Sooner or later your partner will figure out who you are and from there conflict will arise. I think this quoted passage affects me as a reader because it gives a me insight into online dating and informs me not to get my self in the same conflict. It kind of prevents me of making such a mistake. This quote contributes to the essay as a whole by making a point for you to think about as it adds to her plot.
What stood out to me the most form Sherry Turkles “Romance” is how people try to act differently in social median from real life, also how the internet has made dating way easier but it also can be foolish.
“It is easy to think that if you feel close to someone because of their words on a screen, you understand the person behind them. In fact, you may be overwhelmed with data but have little of the wisdom that comes with face-to-face encounters.” This quote stood out to me because I agree with this. The point Sherry Turkle is trying to make is the way people believe that they have enough knowledge about the person that they met online. The issue about this is that people, most of the time, portray false versions of themselves. For example, peoples profiles on social media may either show one side of themselves or a complete lie of themselves. It is always about putting the better version of yourself out there. So in this case for someone to believe that they have gained knowledge about someone by meeting them/seeing them online, it is nothing compared to meeting them in real life. Now that- you can’t edit.