Noun

disdain – a feeling of contempt for someone or something regarded as unworthy or inferior : scorn

I cam across this word while reading “You In America”, this can be found on page 3, it quoted “He had been to Ghana and Kenya and Tanzania, he had read about all the other African countries, their histories, their complexities. You wanted to feel disdain, to show it as you brought his order, because white people who liked Africa too much and who liked Africa too little were the same—condescending. ” .After knowing the meaning of this word I believe the narrator is saying that she wanted to feel Scorn “the feeling or belief that someone or something is worthless or despicable; contempt.” She wanted to feel as if hes unworthy, and worthless to her. She didn’t want to show him respect.