English 1101 Fall 2019 Section 342
Composition 1
The OpenLab is an open-source, digital platform designed to support teaching and learning at City Tech (New York City College of Technology), and to promote student and faculty engagement in the intellectual and social life of the college community.
I actually really enjoyed your essay, it was well written and had a great intro to catch my attention. I also like your attention to detail. One thing you need to fix is the fact that you didn’t indent once the entire essay, so it feels like one big paragraph.
I enjoyed your essay because it showed emotions. I liked how you described the emotions in details as to how you felt. I also liked how you explained what you did to find a way to get all the negativity away from you. Something I thought you should of included was the advice that your teachers gave you to make you feel better. Something else I believe you could of have included was when you mentioned giving back, what did you do, who did you give back to?
I enjoyed reading your essay I actually wrote about a similar experience in my essay about caring about other peoples opinions and being picked on. I like how this experience helped you grow and as time went on you eventually stopped caring about what people thought of you. Just for next time try to indent and put your essay in paragraphs but, Overall I really liked your essay.
I found your essay relatable because I know many people, including myself, struggling with the anxiety of how others saw them. It was nice that you were able to focus on the positives instead of the negatives and how that helped you move better in school. In my opinion, your essay taught an important lesson about never giving up
I really liked your essay. It was very relatable. I think you should add paragraphs and rearrange your sentences. I really like the lesson it taught you and the emotions played throughout your essay.
I enjoyed your essay, one thing I really liked was your concluding sentence, it was a very powerful way to end your essay as well as your title . However, I think you should add more details like maybe talking about a specific moment where you were being bullied by your peers and how you managed to overcome that and space out your paragraphs so its easier to read.
I like the last sentence of your essay. Something you could improve is adding more details about when people used to Bully you and what type of thing they used to say to you. Your essay was very interesting.
this essay was really enjoyable, something I think you can improve on is breaking this big paragraph to smaller ones. everything see well put together based on the scenes that occurred. I like how this was an growing experience and I believe there is more detail you can add it was a little short.
I like your essay because is very interesting. I think you need add more detail and explain how you feel in that scene of your life. I like how you experience help you to grow.
I liked your essay,however I thought you could make some separate paragraphs so the essays isn’t one long paragraph.
I love the message you conveyed in your essay, it really grabbed the readers attention . I like how you talked about the problems you struggled with and how you were able to overcome them. I also enjoyed how you spoke about getting inspiration from you tubers who struggled with the same problems as you. I loved the change of attitude, it was a great turning point in your essay.
I love the pure honesty in the essay in sharing your struggles and how you pushed through them. I feel like I can relate with the fact that you got inspired because you realized you weren’t the only one who was struggling, and that other people had similar problems.
Humaiya your essay was spectacular as you added so much about your feelings but I think you should add more details about how your teachers helped you and what you did to overcome your obstacle.
I enjoyed your essay. Your essay shows strength and to have faith. You explained how you came to solutions to your problems. You never gave up and that is awesome. Make sure to make your essay into more paragraphs. It was a well detailed essay. Good job.
I enjoyed reading your essay because you get personal and speak on your emotions and how you felt and what made you feel this way. Great essay!
I really liked what you said on your last paragraph ” I educated people who talked about my religion”. instead of yelling at people you try to teach them the truth about your religion. you should add what kind of things people would say to you.overall it good essay I enjoyed reading your essay.