Plan For Revising Essay

In my essay/story I discussed a lot of things. I talked about my counselor telling me I couldn’t afford the college that I wanted to attend and etc etc. I felt like I was only elaborating on one part and added t0o much extra information. I may have been confusing the readers a little bit too much. By the end of my essay I want people to know what exactly I mean when I wrote my education story and what the obstacles are with education. There are a majority of problems with education but the financial part of education is overlooked. Yeah we can get Into elementary, middle, and high school for free but we have to pay for college. There are so much obstacles we face with the financial part of education. You have to put your higher education on hold because you don’t have enough money to pay for your school, your books, and etc. Or some people even take out loans. Those loans may be around $90,000.00 by the time you graduate with your bachelors and not to mention interest on top of that. That brings you to about let just say $120,000.00. Here you are in debt and some careers require at least a masters degree and that’s an additional 2 years so you’re paying $160,000.00. How are you supposed to live off a $80,000 salary when you owe $160,000.00 in just student loans because you choose to further your education. No to mention day to day living is very expensive. I will elaborate on some of this and fix the structure. More paragraphs, not just jumping from topic to topic within. AND AS ALWAYS NO PROCRASTINATION !!!

For Thursday, Oct 3– No class on Tues!

Who Cares Tv Show GIF by RuPaul's Drag Race S5 - Find & Share on GIPHY

  1. Print out, Read and annotate “So What? Who Cares?” HERE . Also, look at question #2 at the end of the reading. I’m not asking you to start revising quite yet, but start finishing the sentences they are asking you to finish (AFTER YOU READ THIS HANDOUT!)

That is, the authors ask you to “look over something you’ve written yourself” (in this case, I’d like you to look over your education narrative) and fill out the following sentences: “My point here, (that __________) should interest those who _________________. Beyond this limited audience, however, my point should speak to anyone who cares about the larger issue of ________________.”

Be thoughtful here. “Education matters” or “hard work pays off” are  kind of a broad and cliche points. Can you say something a little more specific to your piece, and to the experiences you personally have had in life?

POST THIS ON OPEN LAB BEFORE CLASS.

2. Also on open lab, please post your plan for revising your essay. This should be at least 250 words, so “I’m going to fix my mistakes” isn’t going to do it (and what are “mistakes” anyway?) If you plan to work on organization, what is your PLAN for organization (like what do you think your new structure will be? Where do you think you will begin the new draft? How will you take my comments into account? Who will be your new audience? What aspects of your character are you going to express as a writer? What is the occasion (or exigency?) You obviously cannot answer ALL of these questions. I’m not crazy. But these are some of the things you might think about.

Another thing you might want to put into your plan is your plan for your process. If you struggled with procrastination last time, what are you planning to do to combat that?

 

Difficulty Paper

In James Baldwin’s “A Talk To Teachers” he talks about many different subjects many of which still apply today. He talks about what teachers should be teaching students as a way to build them and prepare them for society. He also talks about how “Negroes” are viewed in society and how they should ignore what they are told that they are, become educated and discover what they truly are. 

This story was written in 1963 and he expressed the misconceptions of the society he sees during this period of time. He talks about blacks and their relationships with white after being freed. He speaks about the different realities that “Negroes” face “On the one hand he is born in the shadow of the stars and stripes and he is assured it represents a nation which has never lost a war. He pledges allegiance to that flag which guarantees “liberty and justice for all.” He is part of a country in which anyone can become President, and so forth. But on the other hand he is also assured by his country and his countrymen that he has never contributed anything to civilization-that his past is nothing more than a record of humiliations gladly endured. He is assured by the republic that he, his father, his mother, and his ancestors were happy, shiftless, watermelon-eating darkics who loved Mr. Charlie and Miss Ann, that the value he has as a black man is proven by one thing only-his de- votion to white people.” He explains the different realities blacks actually faced after the 13th amendment was passed. Blacks were expected to to be patriotic, yet in the eyes of society he has contributed to nothing in that age and the past that his mother, father, grandparents went through was something that they wanted to endure. 

This entire paper was something difficult to read. To think that 56 years ago, not even a century has passed and Blacks had to face that kind of treatment and had to be in a society that had that kind of mindset and grow up thinking that this was okay, that being treated like that was a normal way of life. Though society today has improved farther along today compared to 60 years ago there is still prominent racism and segregation that still hasn’t changed even today.

 

James Baldwin

In James Baldwin’s text, he talks about all the things he has learned and what he is going to teach the next generation even though he isn’t a school teacher. He talks about how to experience and how the country he lived in was corrupted with hate toward black people. Baldwin talks a lot about how schools in his day don’t teach the real history of the country. He talks about t

How white people learn anything and how their history was a lying. He also talked about how blacks were beaten, sprayed, and even bombed even while white people believe in Christianity.

 

There were many parts of his text that interest me some of those parts was when he talked about  ”What passes for identity in America is a series of myths about one’s heroic ancestors. It’s astounding to me, for ex- ample, that so many people really appear to believe that the country was founded by a band of heroes who wanted to be free. That happens not to be true. What happened was that some people left Europe because they couldn’t stay there any longer and had to go someplace else to make it. That’s all. They were hungry, they were poor, they were convicts.” What he said was true that people forget why they had to find the new world even though it wasn’t really new. This angers me because when the history books look at what happens they leave out the bad parts and everyone just remember the hero of the story like Christopher Columbus but forget, he killed native Indians he took their land and called it the new world. I think that the United States, in general, forgets the main problem of part of history where they built their land on the death of other African Americans, Native Americans and many more.

Difficulty Paper

This article focuses on a majority of problems handed out on modern society. Primarily on things such as discrimination and equality.  I think the article itself was great and very honest meaning it was detailed to describe the struggles of those who were oppressed and discriminated. I find this part of the article upsetting when he quotes,”What passes for identity in America is a series of myths about one’s heroic ancestors. It’s astounding to me, for example, that so many people really appear to believe that the country was founded by a band of heroes who wanted to be free. That happens not to be true.” I find upsetting that I could still remember when i was taught history and the false teachings regarding settlers and their methods, etc. It wasn’t up until high-school when we were actually taught the true stories. I think it is only fair to teach kids about everyone’s struggles and achievements but primarily teaching the truth.

I really wanted to highlight this part of the article as well.” No American has the right to allow the present government to say, when Negro children are being bombed and hosed and shot and beaten all over the deep South, that there is nothing we can do about it. There must have been a day in this country’s life when the bombing of four children in Sunday School would have created a public uproar and endangered the life of a Governor Wallace. It happened here and there was no public uproar.” This part is describing the bombing of a Birmingham Church back in the 60s. One of the many first books i read was called ” The Watsons go to Birmingham 1963.”  I was in 5th or 6th grade when i first read the book, its vivid detail and plot really brought me into the book. It was also when i was taught the cruel discrimination towards African-Americans throughout history. It was a hard realization like wow, this really happened back in the day and people thought it was fine. I can say it was one of the best books i have read and i still would read it again till this day.

Difficulty Paper

In the article by James Baldwin, a lot of things were mentioned. What I found confusing was how it talked about education then went straight to racism. It was hard for me to find the connection. I feel like the connection was not learning racism in school. It talks about depression as well. It’s kind of boring as well. What makes it boring is the fact that it jumps from one idea to another and as soon as you try to make a connection then boom it jumps into another topic. When I was reading the section where it stated

I was not a “nigger” even though you called me one. But if I was a “nigger” in your eyes, there was something about you-there was something you needed. I had to realize when I was very young that I was none of those things I was told I was”. This hits home for me because I can relate. We we’re all told something we’re not. Someone always said you can’t do this you can’t do that. But like the author said he never payed any attention to those people. If you pay attention to nay sayers you won’t live.

Although I found this boring and confusing for the most part it was alright.

For Thursday

Hey everyone– great work on your presentations! These things are due for Thursday:

  1. First of all, fill out “collaborative evaluation form” for your groups
  2.  Read and annotate “A Talk to Teachers” by James Baldwin HERE and then write a “difficulty paper” of about 300 words. In a difficulty paper, you focus in one one or two passages that you find difficult or confusing (quote them!) and EXPLAIN in detail why you found them difficult or confusing (or upsetting or boring.) Try to get to the heart of where you found it difficult. Dig deeply! Be as specific as you can about what your mind was doing as you read those sections.

This is a low-stakes assignment, meaning I’m not grading you on your grammar, just on you getting it done and you putting thought into it!

For Tuesday– PRESENTATIONS! Please email your visuals (slides) by Monday night!

Hey everyone, you’ll be doing your presentations in class on Tuesday. I’ll be giving you the first 15 minutes or so of class to gather yourselves together, but I need all your visuals (whatever you’ll be projecting during your presentations) by Monday night at midnight. I can make copies for you if you want to do handouts (you don’t need to at all, this is just an option.)

Also, here is the Sir Ken Robinson video we watched in class(If you click on it, it’ll send you to the video. I promise.) HERE is a transcript in case you want to quote from it. Have a great weekend!

Group Blog Post

Each student was asked to tell of an important event that has impacted their academic careers. After going over each essays from the members of my assigned group, I found a common factor for each of our essays. Each member told an experience they had that involved some sort of academic test/final. In Chris’s essay, he tells of the events that took place after he finished his SAT’s, he wrote “My friend that went to another high school in Brooklyn sent, “Highkey just cheated on my SAT…this dude did not give a single shit… gave up the concept of cheating because it affected me negatively as a student and a person, but after all I was defeated by the fact that people had cheated their way into College”.” Chris expressing his dismay at the fact that he studied for his standardized test yet someone else cheated and was given a better score than he was. In Micheal’s essay he gives his experience on what it was like to the SAT. Michale tells of how he was nervous for his junior year, mainly because of the challenges that he and his fellow Juniors had to face, “Focusing more on our classes , studying for the SAT , preparing to qualify to become the next team officers for our senior year . So how did I studied for the SAT by attending Saturday SAT classes which I did find it pretty useful as they had teachers from other schools that would help us prepare. We even had to go through many SAT mock test which everyone did find it annoying, well because it was mainly on Fridays but I guess it was kinda helpful.” He states that he had to take extra classes and take multiple practice exams as a way to make sure that he would score well on the SAT’s. In Christians Essay, he explained that he didn’t go to to a normal New York school and they weren’t required to take any Regents other than the Ela, like other schools in New York. Christian was given an essay to complete as a final for his Ela class and he wrote, “We thought it was going to be the most easy final because we did it for four years but the ela final was different from everything we learned…I had to restart my whole essay from scratch. The last three days of classes trying hard to panel my final project what went through my mind is I wasn’t going to graduate because of one class…And I passed it”.” Michale expresses his thought process that he went through during time. He explains that he wasn’t in the beginning of his Senior year but when it was around the time he had to turn in the essay he was worried that he wouldn’t be able to graduate, yet with the help of his dad and friends he was able to graduate. In each of our Essays we described an instance in which we have had trouble with a standardized test, and though it was difficult, we each found a way to persevere and pass our own respective academic difficulty.  

 

Blog Post Shania Romain

What I noticed in my groups’ reason on why we view education different is that we all share a similarity of bad environments and we all needed a push of motivation. In Neil’s piece, he explained how his environment was basically shitty. A shitty environment in most cases leads to a shitty outcome and I am a strong believer in that. When you live around people who are doing the wrong things and you’re growing up seeing that you ave two choices to choose the easy route or to choose something that gets you somewhere. Neil and I share being troublesome kids in school giving our parents and the teachers a hard time. Elayne’s and Rex’s pieces also talked about the environment. Rex felt discouraged to even come to school mainly because of social media. If you have folks around you and they are constantly talking about how they dread school you’re going to be so unmotivated and I am sure he was unmotivated when he couldn’t get into his dream college John Jay. Elayne talked about how shitty her school environment was and she exclaimed how the teachers didn’t really give a fuck and so she had to find her way . My peice was similar I gave up on my self after a while when I realized what I was good at, and then I became good at it until I got a rude awakening. In all we all needed the motivation to get us here now, whether it is me, my son or Neil, his teachers finally acknowledging him. We are all here for a reason.