Author: Herzliyya Lopez (Page 1 of 8)

What do l do well in this assignment? 

I did pretty well in trying to set the mood and the tone for the whole writing.

What is my main point? What is the “so what” of this paper?

My main point was how the education system is trying to fit students into the box they’ve made. But this generation is learning that not everyone has to fit in that box, they can fit in their own boxes.

Who is my audience? Do I use the right language and tone to reach that audience?

My audience are for the students that struggled with school, parents that have children struggling in school, and teachers as well. I used the right language and tone. It was not meant to be very formal, more casual. 

What specific part(s) of the essay were a bit confusing? Why?

I think the social media part of my essay was a bit confusing. I feel that it was repetitive to the topic and could have been written better.

What specifically could I do to clarify the unclear parts of this writing? * (see below for suggestions)

I think cutting off the not so useful words and lines can help clarify this part of my writing.

What details, facts, or stories could you add to enhance the essay?

I don’t think I need any more stories to add to enhance my essay.

What specific detail(s) do not work could be cut from the essay  or could be moved within the essay for more clarity?

The social media part is what I can re-edit or cut some parts in for more clarity. I think it was just very repetitive and can be more useful if it was written differently.