Teenager: noun : a person between 13 and 19 years. School wasn’t always a harsh topic in my eyes. I either did good or bad in school . If I tried I succeeded, and if I didn’t , I failed miserably. As the Early morning breezy weather to moisty afternoons was the usual first month of the school year, I had to do this program before my actual first day of freshmen year. Not a lot of schools required that but mine did and in that case I had to just get my experience with my surroundings and get comfortable for a head start. The program consisted of a 4 weeks, almost like summer school but without the “bad reputation” New people, new surroundings, and new experiences was at the tip of the brisk humid air surrounding all of us on a sweaty Wednesday morning. We all got used to each other quick and for a surprise I felt almost comfortable and didn’t think my first year of high school would be one of the worst years of my educational and personal life. The transition of being a kid to an early teen is big especially when your  maturity level is key to actually being good in school in general . I wasn’t always a bright student but I wasn’t always a  lackadaisical student either. Most high schools usually have there specified curriculum in which helps the system function better and keep the school balanced with the way the kids function academically etc. My first parent-teacher conference in high school , I remember my English teacher Ms.Yang, in which she always tried her fullest to push us to our limit no matter how easy or hard the material was for us. I recall her gentle yet instructive  words telling my mom how I have a low average but she still has potential in seeing me improve. I didn’t believe her at first but throughout time I started actually boosting up my grades without even noticing, until a week before spring break where almost everything changed for me, from being a social butterfly to not talking to a single soul for the rest of the year to the first month of sophomore year. Let’s just say I was in the wrong situation at the wrong time with the wrong surroundings. Who would know that you can even consider  friends “family”. Safety Transfer was my only option and so I did that. I risked my academics for my safety. I can’t really say how I feel about this action of moving on, but  I know if I didn’t do so, who knows where my life would be if everything else was handled differently…


That wasn’t the only transfer though. High school was supposed to be those years you always remembered, good or bad, no matter what, and well for me, I mostly hope I don’t remember these early memories I had in high school. A lot of it not only had to do with personal issues but academically wise. A school is supposed to be a second place you’re supposed to feel safe at and know that no harm can be caused to you. It should be a place in which you at least feel comfortable learning. My second transfer had to be another safety one but because this was an actual horrible school that almost took advantage of my  education into sugarcoating the way I did my studies. Trying to fulfill that transfer was way hard becuase I had to try my hardest to prove that my grades were actually valid and if they can possibly transfer the credits I’ve already made instead of redoing a year. Putting my education in jeopardy was something unbelievable coming from the school. Did that transfer and gloomy  days seemed to be cloudy yet sunny days. Covid happened though. Everything just seemed to keep tumbling on my lap and I felt like it was out of my control to be at least at peace with my education and just live my teenage years. Senior year was the calmest year I’ve had. I made mutuals and my best friend, I’ve gained confidence with being independent in different ways and finding myself again with enjoying school to its full limit. Not until I asked for what was promised to me. You see, when I did my last transfer and was trying to prove I deserved my credits , I basically did a so call,“deal” with my school, if I can show them I do good in school I can stay in the school and potentially graduate early becuase I was a sophomore with basically junior going to senior credits. And so I took that offer cuz i know for sure it’s what I deserved. It’s the only thing that could’ve payed off those relentless arguments at night with my mom as to why I’m up so late. Or those times I would cry in the school bathrooms because I didn’t know if school was for me . Or even those times that “the perfect grade” wasn’t enough for me cuz I thought I need more. I took the offer and did what I had to do. And when I did that was taken away from me when they immediately told me they couldn’t. It  felt like yet another big slap across my face. They did tell me though if I stay and finish my year I would have to take an elective, do a LOTE test which in those case I had to do a Spanish course even though I did that in eighth grade JUST so I don’t do it my high school years , and basically that will count as an ADVANCED regents diploma . I questioned if that’s even a real THING. Another lie. The educational system has not taught me anything but test my trust, my limit, and my importance with what or how I matter. They make it seem like everything you do is just for them and unfortunately the only thing you gain back is stress and a piece of paper with some words to justify if you’re capable of having a future. 

 

I know lastly with these experiences, to not get fooled or at least manipulated into thinking there’s better options to what I know is ENOUGH for me.  I’m not saying how to do your job, but why does the education system have to be so unfair. And I’m only talking about the North American educational system that is so called “the best schools are here, let alone “New York” . College wasn’t always a big wow for me to go just because I thought it was just all for money and It wouldn’t be a fit for me, but hopefully this being my next big chapter in life i get to see know what my values truly are and pay it off with career goals and opportunities