Essay 2
The OpenLab is an open-source, digital platform designed to support teaching and learning at City Tech (New York City College of Technology), and to promote student and faculty engagement in the intellectual and social life of the college community.
Hey Jesse! I saw a HUGE improvement in the organization of your essay 2! Great job with that! There are still grammatical errors but they are minimal, also a big improvement compared to Essay 1! One thing I did notice a few times in your essay is your use of the word “like”. For example here, “Diaz has described that about his life when they were financially unstable, and his parents are working like two or more jobs to sustain the family needs.” take out the word like and keep it straight to the point. You can say, “…his parents are working two or more jobs…” or you can have it be an example and write it this way, “…for example, his dad works two or more jobs…”. You can use Grammarly to help you figure out when you need a comma or if you have too many commas! Check for run-on sentences, there’s a few that you can reword to flow better. And finally, citations! Make sure you are citing your quotes like this, ” …Quote…” (Author last name, page number). You also need to include a bibliography page. The very last page should cite the work you used! Review the Quick Guide that the professor attached in the most recent HW prompt, it’s super helpful and explains citations very well! Great job!
Stephanie,
Not a problem. I got the citation done.
Your essay flows very well from one idea to the next. I like how you dove into specific scenarios within Junot Diaz’s “The Money”. You need to add a works cited page and add outside sources.
Jamal,
Not a Problem. I have that done already for the final essay
Hey Jesse,
I really enjoyed reading over your essay it shows great improvement from essay 1 and how well is your understanding of the “The Money” story. Also, I liked how you included the falling action and rising action that led to the climax of the story and gave your own thought to it to me it was a great idea and it just makes your essay better.
Great essay, Jesse. I liked how detailed your essay was. For your final draft, find an article that you can compare to “The Money”. Additionally, try to discuss what makes the text unique. You can also write what statements got you questioning yourself.
Jess, it’s good to see your improvements. from the draft to the final, you did an incredible job. Your essay is well organized, you followed all the instructions. Great job!!!!
Great essay Jesse, a few spelling and grammatical errors but overall you did a great job!
Great job jesse, im happy to see your improvements in essay. Overall this is an amazing essay.