Haziq, You need to indent more on your paragraphs. You can do this by pressing the tab key at the beginning of the start of your paragraphs. Try to edit your intro by introducing both stories you plan of talking about before going straight into the summary. I like how you related back to the story by mentioning your own experience.
Great start, Haziq. However, you need to work on your essay a little bit more. Try to make your essay more organized. Use transition words to make your essay flow better. Additionally, take a look at the MLA Citation Guide. You should put only the author’s last name and a page number in the parenthesis after the quotation.
Hello Haziq,
Great essay. I like how you compare this story to your personal life. It was good to hear that your father didn’t get hurt.”Although he wasn’t robbed or harmed, he’s always shared the experience with anger, as if he was the group’s main target.” please do more research and add outside sources into your essay, also, please correct In-text citations- it should include last name and a page number. Looking forward to reading your final draft.
Hi Haziq,
You’re off to a great start. I would suggest working on the structure of your essay a bit. I love the way you shared your own personal account. I am looking forward to your final revision. Also, remember to use MLA citations.
Great first draft. As stated by other students there are a few grammatical errors and citation needs to be in MLA format, but overall I enjoyed your essay!
Haziq, You need to indent more on your paragraphs. You can do this by pressing the tab key at the beginning of the start of your paragraphs. Try to edit your intro by introducing both stories you plan of talking about before going straight into the summary. I like how you related back to the story by mentioning your own experience.
Also, For your works cited page, you need to add outside sources, not just the story your using.
Great start, Haziq. However, you need to work on your essay a little bit more. Try to make your essay more organized. Use transition words to make your essay flow better. Additionally, take a look at the MLA Citation Guide. You should put only the author’s last name and a page number in the parenthesis after the quotation.
Hello Haziq,
Great essay. I like how you compare this story to your personal life. It was good to hear that your father didn’t get hurt.”Although he wasn’t robbed or harmed, he’s always shared the experience with anger, as if he was the group’s main target.” please do more research and add outside sources into your essay, also, please correct In-text citations- it should include last name and a page number. Looking forward to reading your final draft.
Hi Haziq,
You’re off to a great start. I would suggest working on the structure of your essay a bit. I love the way you shared your own personal account. I am looking forward to your final revision. Also, remember to use MLA citations.
Hi Haziq,
Great first draft. As stated by other students there are a few grammatical errors and citation needs to be in MLA format, but overall I enjoyed your essay!