Hey Crispin! Great job with your Essay and the citations. I really don’t have many comments, I believe you answered the questions we had to answer. The only thing is to try to reword this sentence to avoid repetition of the word “people” so close after each other, “Each of these people are people he finds interesting, people whom he gets to know throughout their encounters. ” Try saying, “Each of these people, whom he gets to know throughout their encounters, are people he finds interesting.” And for your conclusion, signal the end of the Essay by saying something along the lines of “In conclusion,…”
Hey Crispin, you did an overall wonderful job with your essay two. Grammatically your essay is good to me and I fell like your analysis of the two text you chose was interesting to read!! Through out each paragraph in your essay you transitioned well then went on to explain yourself. The only thing I say work on for your revision is to make your conclusion more clear. Just start off by simply saying “In conclusion”. Also you have an amazing essay so wrap up those thoughts more clearly in your conclusion. Keep up the great work! I will be reading your next essay.
Crispin, nice essay. The only constructive thing I have to say would be to break up some of your paragraphs into smaller ones so it’ll be easier to read. Also, one more outside source wouldn’t hurt.
Hey Crispin! Great job with your Essay and the citations. I really don’t have many comments, I believe you answered the questions we had to answer. The only thing is to try to reword this sentence to avoid repetition of the word “people” so close after each other, “Each of these people are people he finds interesting, people whom he gets to know throughout their encounters. ” Try saying, “Each of these people, whom he gets to know throughout their encounters, are people he finds interesting.” And for your conclusion, signal the end of the Essay by saying something along the lines of “In conclusion,…”
Noted.
Hey Crispin, you did an overall wonderful job with your essay two. Grammatically your essay is good to me and I fell like your analysis of the two text you chose was interesting to read!! Through out each paragraph in your essay you transitioned well then went on to explain yourself. The only thing I say work on for your revision is to make your conclusion more clear. Just start off by simply saying “In conclusion”. Also you have an amazing essay so wrap up those thoughts more clearly in your conclusion. Keep up the great work! I will be reading your next essay.
Crispin, nice essay. The only constructive thing I have to say would be to break up some of your paragraphs into smaller ones so it’ll be easier to read. Also, one more outside source wouldn’t hurt.