Second week. I’m thrown directly into the fray. I opted to build my files from scratch, so that I can have maximum control over my work. My supervisors are delighted to have someone who knows their stuff doing the design work.

Yet I begin to feel that creeping, overwhelming feeling again. Anxiety, stress? I have work to keep up with in school alongside the work at Changing the Present. I hope I can keep up.

Life has been busy. I completely forgot to keep up with these.

I began interning at Changing the Present at the beginning of October.

Changing the Present is a non-profit organization that specializes in giving gifts to society by way of education and healthcare organizations and businesses. As a startup, the company doesn’t have the funds to operate at a pace its workers would appreciate. But what they are working for and serving as a marketplace for companies to help those in need is a very noble cause.

Upon arriving at that office (both when I began and when I went to the interview prior) I could see how mellow, how homely it was. It was kind of comforting, seeing how plain it looked. It fit their cause well; working with little, helping those with just as much.

Right off the bat I got along with both my supervisors: Alyssa, head of editorial, and Robert, head of the business. My goal there is to prove my competence and ability to work alongside them to reach their design goals. In getting to know them and working with them during my briefing, I may have earned their respect and appreciation.

I’ve been tasked with designing banners for the websites and other media hosted by expected beneficiaries.

My worries of finding a position have eased considerably. Being able to contribute and get things done with individuals dedicated to their work is icing on the cake.

This past week I received a response from one of the companies I applied to: Student Global LLC. I was to be interviewed by the head of myKlovr, its education technology division, to discuss my position.

On Friday I accepted the phone call. I was informed of the objective of its education technology division, myKlovr: to encourage education and connection with schools and businesses, and to supply counseling for college students. The company was in need of additional design help. I discussed how I had grown with design, and how I was eager to help people who were in this exact situation, how willing I was to grow among like-minded creators. Our conversation was a good one.

I was nervous, obviously, at the prospect of the interview and what could go wrong, but I approached it with determination and honesty. I am expecting a follow-up this coming Monday.

In addition to that, thanks to assistance from a friend, I am to meet up with Alyssa Ettinger this coming Tuesday to discuss a potential position with her as well. I hope to land one of the two so that I can begin my learning experience as well as my contribution.

As this happens I continue to try to keep up with updating my portfolios, while also juggling my classes. It continues to prove difficult to do.

My materials are slowly coming together. My personal website is further developed than it was previously. Online portfolio is more cohesive. Resume and cover letter are less generic.

But looking for potential positions has been difficult. In between keeping up work for my other classes and refining the material I have to show potential employers, I have applied to various companies, but no luck with acquiring an interview.

I will continue to look for companies to apply to while refining my work even more in the process.  I also need to look for events to attend, in the hopes that I can garner connections and land a position.

I’ve spent the first week of my semester stressed about finding an internship. Between that and my other courses, I have a reasonable amount of doubt that I will be successful in my search. Nevertheless I have started working on two iterations of my portfolio: one on Behance, and one on my personal website. My goal is to perfect the selection of work I have in order to present a more cohesive portfolio to potential employment.

I am very afraid.