Based on the peer review feedback that you received, I would like you to open your essay introduction word processing file and choose to File > Save As and add the word “revised” after the name that you originally gave the essay introduction. Then, use your peer review feedback to revise your introduction into a stronger form. Save your new, revised introduction, and copy-and-paste it into a comment to this blog post before Monday’s class.
Begin thinking ahead to your supporting paragraphs. We will work on these during class on Monday, but there’s no reason why you can’t begin writing these over the weekend. Bring any brainstorming and writing to class on Monday.
Growing up I always wanted to protect and help people. When offered the option to volunteer, I never refused and I was always willing to teach someone the skills that I am good at. When I came to the United States, my first major goal was to become a lifeguard and swimming instructor. My life changed once that goal was achieved. I am always happy that people are learning from me because I have been learning from others all my life. Now that I reached my first major goal, I am in the process of reaching my second major goal. Five years from now, I see myself as a United State Coast Guard Officer. To become who I want to be, I will have to work hard in school, exercise and stay out of trouble. I cannot be involved in anything illegal or any criminal activity which is why I will continue attending college, to work towards getting my degree. I will also exercise and work as a lifeguard and swimming instructor and stay out of trouble. In this essay, I will highlight the pros and cons of becoming a United States Coast Guard Officer.
Five years from now, I imagine myself as an ambitious, successful Air Force officer. I have re-enlisted into the Air force reserves as a computer engineer since my contract with the Army was done. Last year, in 2019, I graduated NYC College of Technology with a Bachelor’s Degree in Computer engineering. I also landed a job at Viacom as an Information Technology specialist. Ever since I started working in the building as a security guard in 2014, I have always dreamed of working for them in that field. In 2020, I have made that dream a reality. My family is wealthy and financially stable. I have my own home in Mill Basin, yes, a mini mansion in Brooklyn. Ever since I have seen that neighborhood, I was completely mesmerized. The beauty of the houses and neighborhood itself had captivated me. I had never believed there were mansions in Brooklyn until now. I said to myself “I am living in this one”, and here I am, owning a mansion. The mind is very broad and powerful. I have learned that in life, we attract whatever we think and feel, whether it is good or bad. In this essay, I argue with my past self how positive feelings and thoughts can attract events and experiences, called the law of attraction.
Working in Deloitt for the past five years and moving from just an entry level technician to the position of help desk support specialist have finally made me satisfied with myself. As I sit in the Café of Deloitt, I remember the time when I was struggling with my classes at Per Scholas and City Tech, how I ran from one institute to another just to manage my classes. I never had time anymore for anything, not even myself back then because I was so concentrated towards my education and I was so career-orientated. Although I had to face so many struggles, now I think it was worth it. I do not think I would be sitting in the company I always wanted to work for the most if I had not done what I did five years back. Not only have I managed to start my career but I also did what I always wanted to do the most – make my parents proud. What seemed as a bitter trial back then is a blessing to me now. Life has offered me so much and I managed to accept and accomplish so much of it because of hard work. I would not want to be anywhere other than where I am now in my life, and of course Deloitt. Sipping on my coffee and sitting in the café makes me realize this is what I always wanted to do. How much joy I have gotten from accomplishing all this. How I built this firm foundation for myself with the bricks others have thrown at me I feel proud of myself.
Five years from now, I do not think life for me is going to be much different from life now. I hope I would manage to graduate college after four years and find a position doing something engineering related, even if it is a small-time job until I can move on to bigger and better things. My desired field of work is challenging, and I know I will have a lot of struggle, not only in these 5 past years but in the years to come. There some things I think about a lot, and some that I need to be thinking about more in order to stay on the right path. While I think a lot about anime, music, studying, and my friends, I feel I should think more about learning to cook, my family, and thinking of my future and how to achieve it.
Wow it’s been five years already. I can’t believe we’re in the year 2020 already. I’m in my dressing room right now preparing for my performance and man life is going great now. I got the dream house and cars I’ve always wanted, I’ve graduated from City Tech with my Associates in Marketing Management and Sales and my Bachelors in Video Production. My mom and younger siblings is all happy and have a stable home. Everything is just great. The argument that I have against the way I use to think in the past is that I should’ve thought more of what’s planned out for me, to keep nothing but positive thoughts in mind and, to not let negative situations influence the creation of my road to success. But, the only way for my past self to actually reach where I am now is to continue what she’s doing now. Continue to go to school, continue to study hard, continue to have these goals in her head and to not let anyone or anything get in her way and by the year of 2020, all what I’ve mentioned earlier will become her reality.
“It is what it is.” Whenever something was out of my control, that is exactly how I would address it. Hey, it’s me, year 2020 Penny. Life has been super busy these past couple of years. After receiving a bone marrow transplant back in 2012, life has had plenty of ups and downs. “It is what it is.” Getting diagnosed with leukemia as a young adult was out of my control but from staying positive and overcoming my struggles, I have grown into a survivor, a warrior, and a role model to my family, friends and outside associates. Just five years ago I was trying to “keep up” with doctors’ visits, going back to school full-time- after being on a twelve year hiatus, and training for my first half marathon. “It is what it is.” I got through it. I am a registered radiologic technician at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. Doctors’ visits are annually now at the Cancer Center. How ironic! My first marathon was the first of many runs keeping me active and healthy. I wanted to gain some personal growth and went soul searching around the world. I have passport stamps to prove it! Also, spending a lot of time with family and friends has me now wanting to focus on starting a family. Over the past five years, seeing how far I’ve come reassures me that anything is possible.
Reminiscing the time I became a better person, I cannot believe it has been 5 years, the day I first stepped into City tech is the day I told myself that I would finish something for once in my 22 years of living. The things I think about the most is finishing my degree in computer engineering, and my current work. I think about my degree and my work the most is because of the fact that it is my daily routine during the weekdays. Completing work for my classes and having to meet deadlines for my work, needs more thought to keep myself and work organized. The thing I think about the least is my family, even though they I am still living with them, I barely see them due to how busy I am during the weekday and some weekends. Living with my partner completes my 5 year plan and recently landing a new job at a new tech driven company which I can utilize the skills, I learned from attending City Tech and completing my BA in Computer Engineering, just tops it all off. I have plans of continuing my graduate studies but that will be put on hold until I settle into my new position. My dreams are very broad, but my expectations are kept low. If I was able to meet my old self I would tell him the things I would do, to make things more effortless towards the goal I set forth, starting at City Tech. If I stayed in the position I was 4 years ago before I attended City Tech I would have be a train wreck. Regret is something I try not to have whenever I make my decisions. Having regrets bring you back in life and I learned that the hard way.
Wow, It is 2020 already. I really cannot believe its been this long. If you are wondering who this is well, I am your future self in five years. Its been a short time but a lot has changed. There are a lot of things I want to tell you. I just recently graduated from school so if you want to graduate too, then just listen to what I have to say. Stay focused. That is the number one thing you should be thinking about. I use to think about clothes, sneakers, basketball and other trivial things like that, but you have to change your thinking. Sure those stuff are fun or cool but they should only be your secondary thoughts. Think about getting yourself promoted at work to gain a little more money on the side to provide for this nice apartment I am living in. Save up the money you make to finally get yourself a decent car instead of wasting it on clothes all the time. Most importantly think about your family and how you will provide for them in the future. You will not be living in that house much longer so find some ways to help them out while you are not there anymore. Four years from now you will be graduating and although its been a hard path, its worth it trust me. I bet you are wondering what it is you end up majoring in. Well to bad. I will not tell you. Thats something you have to figure out. If you keep reading maybe I will give you a concealed hint. You are me so you I know you will figure it out. What I can tell you about is all the thoughts you use to have contrary to all the thoughts you should be having and are having now.
I always imagined how my life would be five years from now. I see myself getting my bachelor’s degree in Liberal Arts and Science. Although, it is very tough I am willing to work very hard and finally accomplish what I came to college for. Shortly after graduating with my bachelor’s I hope to start my one year journey of a four year contract with the military. When I join the military I want to pursue a career as a military doctor. So, when I am done serving my time in the military I will continue to further my education, knowledge and experiences as an Obstetrician. My family is a big factor in my desicions because I want to make them proud of my accomplishments and to show them that I wanted to be a doctor for a long time and I am steps closer to achieving that goal.
I can only imagine what kind of person I will be in five years.I can see that in five short years, I will be a employee of a big electronics consulting firm. I have not decided where I will work but I know the industry I will be in. An obvious necessity is a job, it does not have to be a great job at first. I have only been out of college for a year in 2020. I knew when I started college in August of 2014 that I was committed for at least four years, but I soon discovered that if I wanted to work at my own pace, I would need an extra year, pushing my graduation to this year 2020 instead of 2019. With a job comes money, with money comes a place to live, with a place to live comes the future. I give thought to 2020, I am going to be my own person by then. If I was talking to my previous self, I would tell myself to stay on the correct path, you know what it is, only accept perfection, and be yourself. I know now looking into the future that I must succeed, if I do not there is the possibility of me being destitute which I will not accept. I am Connor Kempf, a Computer Engineering Student at New York City College Of Technology. I am currently in my first year of college. As of today, I do not have a job,I am looking for one. The complication is that college must come first. A few years from now, I move on with my life. I become a productive member of society with future employment in , I envision myself being in the technology field.
My name is Shawn Elijah Williams. I am very ambitious. I like to cook,drive and eat. I have some advice for my present self five years from now. I want you to constantly keep Allah,on your mind and tongue. I know you like to drive and you like fast cars, but you should focus more on your school. Do not just get by, but excel and the easier it will be in the future to demand and acquire what you want. You need a good partner by your side. Someone who has your back, someone who can make you better as well as you making them better. If you do not start thinking about your Wife more, and stop taking her for granted, you will eventually lose her. I am happy you understand the value of family,because down the line it will a limited amount of people you can depend on.