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Developmental Writing Express Summer 2019
The Split Self: Personal Identity On- and Off-line
Munair had a great topic to write about and used great examples to portray is point of view upon the topic. In the intro instead of saying, â the author begins,â he could have used just the single word âbegin.â he also should explain what S.A.D abbreviated for just so the reader wouldnât be confused throughout the essay. His nor the authorâs thesis was stated clearly. I couldnât really understand what the essay was going to be about until I read farther into the text. He should explain the authorâs cure for her S.A.D in the intro as well.Â
Munair had to explain what S.A.D was in his intro, also he had an unclear thesis. I was unsure on what exactly was he trying to prove or point out throughout his essay. Lastly he has to work on putting uppercase letters in mid sentences. Other than that this essay wouldâve been a great essay.