2 thoughts on “Feedback for Munair (2nd essay)”

  1. Munair had a great topic to write about and used great examples to portray is point of view upon the topic. In the intro instead of saying, “ the author begins,” he could have used just the single word ‘begin.’ he also should explain what S.A.D abbreviated for just so the reader wouldn’t be confused throughout the essay. His nor the author’s thesis was stated clearly. I couldn’t really understand what the essay was going to be about until I read farther into the text. He should explain the author’s cure for her S.A.D in the intro as well. 

  2. Munair had to explain what S.A.D was in his intro, also he had an unclear thesis. I was unsure on what exactly was he trying to prove or point out throughout his essay. Lastly he has to work on putting uppercase letters in mid sentences. Other than that this essay would’ve been a great essay.

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