Please post your draft thesis statement for your five paragraph letter explaining why you agree or disagree with argument presented in one of the essays we read last week.
Please also feel free to post any questions you have about writing thesis statements.
FOR ANYONE HAVING DIFFICULTY POSTING TO THE OPENLAB, YOU CAN INSTEAD POST YOUR DRAFT THESIS STATEMENT TO THIS GOOGLE DOC:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1z1ga3GzzsM2VaLq0Z3qCHpiEEh2jqDAKE4u8-x3M07E/edit?usp=sharing
My draft below
From reading ā Is Google Making Us Stupidā by Nicholas Carr, I can understand what he means when he mentions his thesis statement ā The deep reading that used to come naturally has become a struggle.ā Heās saying that now with the internet ( Google), it may be hard for someone to just find information from a physical book now since the web has all of that information there easier. I can agree on this because some people are probably more used to reading with a book rather than having to let Google give them all the answers and the information easily. There are several of others things he mentions to elaborate on his thesis.
Thanks, Sheldon, for this discussion of Carr’s thesis. But what is your thesis statement? Why do you agree or disagree with Carr? For this 5 paragraph letter, it is a good idea to either explicitly lay out the three reasons you agree or disagree with Carr as a draft thesis statement. By doing this, you will then know what you will write about in each of your three body paragraphs.
In the article Is Google Making Us Stupidā by Nicholas Carr, he mentions that the internet has affected our daily habits. He starts off how internet becomes our primary source of information and begins to affect our ability to read books and articles. He shares his experience with the audience about how he cannot focus on reading. Then Carr uses research to explain how internet supposed to make us do thing much fasters and some other negatives effects. I agree with Nicholas Carrās argument that the Internet has changed our way of thinking and made it so we can no longer think deeply.
Alex,
This is an excellent overview of Carr’s essay. I also like your thesis statement. However, I’m curious to know what you will be writing about, i.e., your own personal experiences? responses to Carr’s claims? Having a broad thesis statement like this one is fine, as long as you have a sense of what you will be writing about in your body paragraphs.
According to the passage āIs Google Making Us Stupid?ā by Nicolas Carr, the narrator mentions that as internet become globalized, people become over relying on the internet because internet provide us a faster way to reach the information we needed, it made our mind become lazy. I agree with Nicolas Carrās point. Although internet is convenient for our daily life but on the other hand, itās also harmful to us. We are over relying on the internet for information because we are seeking for a quick way or easier way to get what we want. And lead us to become lazier day by day. Also worsen our attention when we are really trying to focus on something because our brain are habited to quickly skimming over stuffs.
This is Huilin…. I can’t get to the open lab in this morning… and it finally works now but it’s anonymous….
Thanks, Hui Lin! I think there have been some problems with the OpenLab. If you are unable to post here, please feel free to e-mail me.
Hui Lin,
You make some really excellent points here, and I like how you have structured your thesis statement, which you decided to break up into several sentences. From the perspective of your argument, this is an excellent thesis.
Unfortunately, the sentences that make up your thesis statement are not easily comprehensible to a native English reader because you are still learning the conventions of SWE and most of them are not complete sentences. Would it be possible to take a copy of this passage and review it with a writing tutor in AG18 sometime Monday between 10:30 and 4pm? If so, that would be great. If not, we can talk about working with a tutor when we next meet.
Please review and RESPOND to the comments and corrections I’ve made to your thesis:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YwaHm7hFlNgAgB8QiqlkYNWOK_jvUnVWDzUr8cu8A5E/edit?usp=sharing
You can RESPOND by telling me what resource you looked up to study the particular SWE issue.
Thanks!
Thesis below:
The Death of the Book, written by Ursula LeGuin is an article in which it mentions the future of a book; turning into an ebook or being put away from readers minds. She relates to this process as the one of “eschatology” in which it deals with the final destiny of something. Ursula LeGuin does this by stating both pros and cons of these choices and the impact of technology on books. I 100% agree with the author’s perspective as she feels that ebooks are better, yet the decision of choice is based on the readers attraction.
Tyra,
Thanks for this. Your thesis statement is excellent. However, the sentences that precede it need some work regarding their adherence to MLA guidelines for author and title referencing and SWE usage. For instance, why do you use a semicolon where you do? Perhaps you should look up the usage guidelines for semicolons. Of the three sentences that you’ve written (and the first is, from a SWE perspective, not a complete sentence), the first is the most ambiguous. You may want to rewrite it in order to clarify what you are trying to communicate.
Tyra,
Thanks for this. Your thesis statement is excellent. However, the sentences that precede it need some work regarding their adherence to MLA guidelines for author and title referencing and SWE usage. For instance, why do you use a semicolon where you do? Perhaps you should look up the usage guidelines for semicolons. Of the three sentences that you’ve written (and the first is, from a SWE perspective, not a complete sentence), the first is the most ambiguous. You may want to rewrite it in order to clarify what you are trying to communicate.
In “The Death of the Book” by Ursula Leguin, Leguin argues that “the book” isn’t dying due to technology, but changing, and as a result of that, readers are changing as well. I agree with Leguin that new technology is changing the way we view “the book”. Presenting both benefits and drawbacks for the fate of “the book” and its readers.
Kyle,
This is a great start. In fact, the beginning of this paragraph is very strong rhetorically. As you progress, however, there are some issues. Here are a FEW SUGGESTIONS FOR ADDRESSING THOSE (IN ALL CAPS and a couple of deletions: please compare this version to the original) :
In āThe Death of the Book,ā Ursula Leguin argues that āthe bookā isnāt dying due to technology, but changing. AS A RESULT, readers are changing as well. I agree with Leguin that new technology is changing the way we view āthe bookā. Presenting both THE benefits and drawbacks for the fate of āthe bookā and its readers, LEGUIN ____________. [WITHOUT ADDING ON TO THE LAST SENTENCE, YOU WILL NOT HAVE COMPLETE SENTENCE IN SWE. DO YOU KNOW WHY????????]
The last sentence is a dependent clause. It’s not a complete sentence because it doesn’t express a complete thought.
Thanks, Kyle. Yes, it is a dependent clause and therefore not a complete sentence. Whether or not it is a complete thought is, in my opinion, open to debate.
According to the passage āIs Google Making Us Stupid?ā by Nicolas Carr, the narrator mentions that the internet have become our primary source of information , it begins to affect our ability to read books and other sources on information. Also Carr share his experience and how it had affect him. Carr uses research to explain how internet impacts us both positive and negative. I agree with Carrās argument that the Internet has great negative impact on us that it make us have no critical thinking skills but it also have a great positive impact on us too like we could make money and easier communication.
Thanks, Chemar. Here are a few comments:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yOsbXY493h26PRwBgZy_rroanPrBNVjRUhsVbMwxvAw/edit?usp=sharing
Thanks, Chemar. Here are a few comments:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yOsbXY493h26PRwBgZy_rroanPrBNVjRUhsVbMwxvAw/edit?usp=sharing
In the article “The Death of the Book” by Ursula LeGuin, LeGuin argues that the book isn’t dying because it has taken on a second form in ebooks. This, in turn, has changed the way people approach reading in general. She says that competition on the internet is killing the book because most people are on the internet. It’s become a faster and more convenient way to gravitate more people towards certain reading material. She also goes on to mention the fact that the reading done online isn’t necessarily of books, but rather the reading and writing that people do “in a cubicle, writing and reading all day long on screen. Communication that used to be oral, face to face or on the telephone, is now written, emailed, and read.” Although I agree with her argument she makes of “the book” in her passage, I disagree with her that “the book” itself is dying, but rather it is people’s interest in “the book” that is dying.
Mohamed, your thesis is excellent, as is much of what you’ve written prior to it. However, I do have one or two comments: first, your third sentence appears to be misplaced. Would you agree? second, I’m having a hard time following just what it is you are saying in this (non)sentence: “She also goes on to mention the fact that the reading done online isnāt necessarily of books, but rather the reading and writing that people do āin a cubicle, writing and reading all day long on screen. Communication that used to be oral, face to face or on the telephone, is now written, emailed, and read.ā” Could you please re-write it. Thanks!
Mohamed, your thesis is excellent, as is much of what youāve written prior to it. However, I do have one or two comments: first, your third sentence appears to be misplaced. Would you agree? second, Iām having a hard time following just what it is you are saying in this (non)sentence: āShe also goes on to mention the fact that the reading done online isnāt necessarily of books, but rather the reading and writing that people do āin a cubicle, writing and reading all day long on screen. Communication that used to be oral, face to face or on the telephone, is now written, emailed, and read.āā Could you please re-write it. Thanks!
In the article āThe Death of the Bookā by Ursula LeGuin, LeGuin argues that the book isnāt dying because it has taken on a second form in ebooks. This, in turn, has changed the way people approach reading in general. Itās become a faster and more convenient way to gravitate more people towards certain reading material. She says that competition on the internet is killing the book because most people are on the internet. She also mentions that the reading done online isnāt necessarily of books, but rather the reading and writing that people do when at work. Although I agree with her argument she makes of āthe bookā in her passage, I disagree with her that āthe bookā itself is dying, but rather it is peopleās interest in āthe bookā that is dying.
In Nicholas Carr’s “Is Google Making Us Stupid?,” he describes the ways that reading online has both benefits and drawbacks. I agree with Carr’s argument because although the internet can be helpful by being easily accessed, it is also harmful to the way we think.
Anika, this looks very good. However, to avoid generalities, you may want to re-write the second half of your thesis statement and be a bit more specific regarding what the drawbacks of using the internet are.
The article ” Is google making us stupid? What the internet is doing to our brains ” by Nicholas Carr talks about how the internet is affecting us in the way we think read and write. Carr mentions “the more they use the web, the more they have to fight to stay focused on long pieces of writing”. I disagree with Carr’s points on how the internet is making us stupid, because we are responsible on how in the way we use the internet. The internet is not doing anything to us, we are the individuals that are using the internet wrong.
Melannie Moreira
Melanie, Overall, this is an excellent thesis. However, please check the title of this article. You seem to have included the subtitle in the title.
Sorry For the late reply My Internet was out the whole week and my phone service was recently cut off so I had no way of reading the due date.
In the article āIs Google Making Us Stupidā by Nicholas Carr , he describes the ways that reading online using the internet can affect your way of thinking which also messing up your way of reading and writing. I Agree with Carr because I think it is making us lazy and remapping the way we usely do things, itās messing with our critical thinking skills and I donāt think thatās good for the rest of our generation.
Chadel, your thesis is excellent conceptually and sophisticated from an argumentative standpoint. However, it needs some re-working for your audience to fully and easily comprehend the points you are trying to make.
Please take a look at my comments here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/16pXek5U_KBAOqirLIEbMe-GIgXW9oJPA-VcsfHXVS70/edit?usp=sharing
In Nicholas Carrās āIs Google Making Us Stupid? ā he describes the harmful effects the Internet has had on his daily life. One of his main points is that once you have access to all of the information that has taken years and years of research for others to contain, now just a couple of clicks away we become lazy. I agree with him because with technology constantly changing and us wanting to try every new thing to help us in our daily life. We can easily get carried away by it and not be aware that technology can easily take over our minds if we let it, in result causing harm such as not being able to fully engage with traditional writing which was one of the things Carr struggled with.
Ojanny,
Your argument is very sound. However, its presentation needs some work. Please take a look at my comments here and revise it:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/127XBJILRvxcG8QPNlYZ9vil44LiSBKX5XrgXEuxFxyk/edit?usp=sharing
From reading the article ” the Death of the Book” by Ursula LeGuin the writer gives brief examples to why books are slowly dying, the assimilation of the book industry converting to digital media, and “the cataclysmic effects” of digital technology on people. As I read into the thesis of the article the tone of the topic acknowledges the sickness of a dying industry; comparing pros and cons of the hard copy books meta-morphing to ebooks. LeGuin argues the importance of keeping hard copy books from ebooks differ in the integrity of saving and altering original text.
Colin, Here are a few comments:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BgccucrGTHTmahIGA3v99zqHEg9U7lhEf1oXl66x0C8/edit?usp=sharing
In the article āIs Google Making Us Stupidā by Nicholas Carr, he talks about how our manner of reading has changed due to having access to the internet. Also how internet effect him on deep thinking. However, I disagree because internet doesn’t make us do anything, we choose to do things that we do. Internet is very helpful in our daily life because it is not time consuming, communication became easier than ever, and entertaining.
In the article āIs Google Making Us Stupidā by Nicholas Carr, he talks about how our manner of reading has changed due to having access to the internet. Also how internet effect him on deep thinking. However, I disagree because internet doesn’t make us do anything, we choose to do things that we do. Internet is very helpful in our daily life because it is not time consuming, communication became easier than ever, and entertaining.
I chose to write about “Is Google Making Us Stupid?” by Nicolas Carr. This is my thesis statement
In the blog “Is Google Making Us Stupid?” by Nicholas Carr is relatable to us all. We’ve all at least gone online and are familiar with the internet. I do believe some of the arguments pointed in this blog are compelling, I disagree with some of Carr’s Concerns regarding the internet’s impact on us. I believe the issues presented in this blog are a case to case one. Yes, the internet will have an impact on us because it has started to become apart of our lives, but It all comes down to the individual and how much you let it impact you. Google, by extension The Internet, is a powerful to that can be of great use or detriment to us.
In “The Death of the Book”, Ursula LeGuin states that today’s modern technology has changed the “fate” of a book. LuGuin also claims that technology has made readers and writers evolve by incorporating reading and writing to their daily lives. I disagree with LeGuin because she believes that technology has both a positive and negative impact on today’s society. Technology to me has a negative impact because it causes distractions, ruins “face-to-face” conversations, and makes people today more lazier.