The purpose of D-503’s personal entries is to write down and express how life in the One State is considered to be the ideal world of perfection by spreading happiness by secluding freedom from everyone’s lives. In his entries, he is directly speaking to those he plans to convert and bring to the One State. However, recently his entries have fallen off course to the original concept, D-503 expresses more his love for I-330 rather than the main objective as to why he decided to write in the first place.
It’s interesting to see the development of the character D-503 just based on his writings specifically, towards the end of his entries. Seems like in the beginning he was trying to avoid being around I-330 and prevent himself from falling in love with her for many reasons but I couldn’t help but think of one in particular. In the One State promiscuity is practiced by all citizens and I think this is pushed upon in order to prevent any form of feelings to develop between the numbers. If a number has feelings towards another number then it would not be considered a number anymore but that of a human being, an individual, something different. But yet, no matter how hard he tries D-503 gets closer and closer to feel like am individual in the One State, he states, “‘I cannot… Without you. I want nothing without you,’ I said, or merely thought–I am not sure– but she heard” (Zamyatin 185). At this point he does not think of himself, he thinks about others. I-330 is on his mind more than the tables of hours are, which is something completely different to that of another number. It’s almost to the point where he may perhaps be a little obsessed over I-330.
His journal entries surround the idea of the integral and as well as his profound love for I-330 but as the reader, I noticed that the farther he got from the original concept of the entries, that it soon became his personal journal. As he writes his thoughts and feelings into paper he has to consider that others will read this as well and be a witness of his torn relationship of the One State and the green wall. because of this fact, he becomes hesitant many times to even finish his thoughts, at times he begins a thought but never finishes. In one if his entries he states,”I am ashamed to read the last lines I had written yesterday. But it is all the same now; let them stay as a reminder of the incredible thing that might have happened–and now will not happen…no, it will not happen” (Zamyatin 178-179). This quote to me to shows how he is torn between expressing himself freely or keep in mind the real objective of these entries. Either way, I believe even though D-503 is conflicted in many ways it helps him reflect to maybe perhaps and think about what life outside the One State may be like as well as if he really did find happiness.