Why does anyone need to know about me anyway?

If I were to honestly describe myself to you, the viewer, then it would only be a long and infinite list of negative qualities and self-loathing. I’m sorry but I can’t help it. I am arrogant, introverted, self-absorbed, blunt, indifferent, narcissistic etc. You see? I’m even too lazy to list my own traits. Just go to another person’s About Me page and for every interesting or positive aspect about that person, just put a negative sign in front of it and then attach it to me. Hopefully, I’ve lowered your expectations enough for you to be interested in anything with a tiny glimmer of brilliance. I suggest you walk outside for five minutes or so to invigorate yourself with a reality that is not the screen in front of your eyes but the one that you perceive with your very being. Maybe I am as I stated above. Maybe not. Up to you.