Uruchima_Kenny_UNIT III
The OpenLab at City Tech:A place to learn, work, and share
The OpenLab is an open-source, digital platform designed to support teaching and learning at City Tech (New York City College of Technology), and to promote student and faculty engagement in the intellectual and social life of the college community.
top
Hi Kenny,
so good to read you. I always enjoy hearing what you have to say. Jennifer just got a lot of comments from me, and I also feel here much the same in that, like Jennifer, your quiet exterior always covers some great and funny and insightful writing. And also, I was hoping that you would both encourage each other to shine. It is an unlikely pair on the outside, but a good one and I think you were courageous and generous to come out of your comfort zone.
Comments: Your dad’s mentioning saying that cooking involves “love” is such a good point. Your connection to family and history and the description of your dad working the line in a restaurant … all good anecdotes. I see your connection to this skill, and it inspires the reader to see cooking as more than just a means to an end.
I have some criticisms and suggestions in the PAIR document section and since they are the same as what I told Jennifer, I will copy what I told her, below:
“…I don’t see much straight-shooting challenge; I don’t see a push to influence and cajole on your actual topics and skills. Is family an integral part of Kenny’s landscape? Great, you [Jennifer] know about families and their dynamic. Is Kenny able to make you watch some cooking authority and learn something? or, are you after some merging of ideas? …
I can’t tell you exactly where to go on this, (Kenny cooks Chinese?) except to set out, and I can help you if you want to push this into a place of challenge…”
Again, a lot is great here. However, I would also ask you to correct your fused paragraphs and to fix your punctuation and sentence errors if you want to shine in the Final Portfolio…