“That morning , I had tried to hang myself. I had taken the silk cord of my mothers yellow bathrobe As soon as she left for work, and in the Amber shade of the bedroom, fashioned it into a knit that slipped up and down on itself. It took me a long time to do this, because I was poor at knits and had no idea how to make one”

http://i.word.com/idictionary/suicide

Suicide (noun)

The act or instance of taking one’s own life voluntarily and intentionally especially by a person of years of discretion and if sound mind

Though the specific word suicide was not in this passage I feel it is of great assistance in understanding the passage. This particular passage is an explanation of how Helga tried to take her own life. Her making knits and knits in the silk cord showed her volunteering to take her own life.

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