Inspiration: Scenes from the Smith Family Christmas By Zadie Smith

This picture is from around 1994-95ish, when I was just a toddler. My older sister is holding me safely in her arms; she is 3 years older than I. My Uncle Alex is on the left, I think he’s in the process of creating “bunny ears” for my grandmother who is to the right (that was all the rage!). I vaguely remember this day; we were visiting a park in the Bronx I believe. I’m not sure who took it, but this photo speaks volumes to me. Looking at this, I remember how my grandmother didn’t want to be called “abuela”, rather she preferred her grandchildren to call her Dubby (very possibly misspelled). I remember her singing “La Cucaracha” to make me laugh. My Uncle Alex was the coolest; he was always doing goofy stuff just like in the photo. I remember him throwing me in the air and tickling me until my ribs were sore, he still is my favorite Uncle Alex who is an expert at making people laugh whenever he’s around. But my favorite part of this image is my sister, whose head is resting on my shoulder and holding me like a little dolly she had to protect. And she did. We don’t get to see each other all that much anymore since we don’t live in the same state, but I remember our childhood. We went through a lot of things when we were younger, from living in bad neighborhoods to our father selling our things to fuel his drug addiction. I still remember asking my sister where our N64 went, or why things kept disappearing. She tried to protect me. She was older and knew better. I don’t know what I would have done in her situation, having a younger sister who completely depended on you. But the fact was that I had her, and she made my life easier. I didn’t have to worry because I knew my big sister would be there. And she still is.

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