English 1101 Fall 2019 Section 342
Composition 1
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Something I liked in your essay was how you pushed yourself harder to do better after failing a class and how it motivated you to do better. Something I think you should do before giving your essay in is rereading it. There were a couple times where you repeated yourself and there were some grammar that needed to be fixed. Something else you should of included is how did your teacher Ms. Harewood push you to do your best.
Something I liked in your essay was how you pushed yourself harder to do better after failing a class and how it motivated you to do better. Something I think you should do before giving your essay in is rereading it. There were a couple times where you repeated yourself and there were some grammar that needed to be fixed. Something else you should of included is how did your teacher Ms. Harewood push you to do your best.
I like how you gave us a detailed explanation about how easy your first couple of years of school was, like first and second grade I do wish you spoke about how taking regents help you increase your work ethic. Dialogue would be useful, there was a couple grammatical errors and a bit too much repetition with the word “exam”
I like your experience its very relatable to something all of us have gone through. I like how you learned from this Even though you failed you didn’t give up and at the end it was all worth it since you eventually passed. You should include more details on how you prepared yourself for the regents the second time around and how this made you feel.
You should break this up into smaller paragraphs because its one big paragraph. I think you should go more in dept about these feelings you wear feeling during the exam. Is science your worse subject or you just felt like it was because you failed the regents. You went from talking about math and English and then more in dept about biology. is math or biology the real problem.
I liked your essay, I admire how you still learned something from your high school even thought it wasn’t the best. However, I think you should add more details about the things you experienced in your school so it would emphasize the growth you’ve been through. You could also talk about the people that helped you become a better person. Overall it’s a good essay.
I really liked that you didn’t give up after not passing the test, lot of the time people give up after not passing. some of the part your detail was clear. I want know what did you learn from this experience and that could be your conclusion.
I love the fact that even when you did not pass the test, it did not discourage you in giving up. You kept trying and I believe this essay is very inspirational as it places emphasis on that factor. The only advice I would bring up is that there is barely any paragraphs, and you should separate some of the writing into them
I like how you went from 1st-2nd to 8th grade then to high school the sequence was amazing with a big transition going on . Also you explained everything in details really well but, feel like you can make your sentences longer.
I liked the topic of your essay since its something I can relate to; However, I think your essay needs more structure since you don’t have any set paragraphs, there’s no indentation so it seems like one long paragraph than an essay. I think it’d also be a good idea to add more details to your essay, maybe talk about your social experiences in school just to give the essay more depth.
I enjoyed how in the start of your essay, you discussed how simple it was when we were younger. But the older we get, the more difficult life gets. I also enjoyed the emotion you put into your essay. However, I noticed you were being repetitive in some parts of your essay so in the future, just be careful with that.
I liked how you focus in one topic and how you explain very deep with details. Something you could do is add more in the conclusion.
I enjoyed your essay, especially the topic. the topic of your essay was interesting and caught my attention. while there were not that many grammatical errors you do need to focus on the structure since you didnt truly indent anywhere to indicate the start of paragraph, it all just seems like one big paragraph.
I thought you should break up the story into paragraphs. When that’s done it makes reading the story easier to understand if it’s broken up into pieces. Also I thought you should add more detail, other than that everything else was good
I liked your essay. It’s very relatable. I think you should add paragraphs to give your essay structure. I think you should also add more details about your reactions, and your relationship with your teachers. Overall, I think your essay was very encouraging.
I liked your essay. A lot of people wont acknowledge of them repeating a class and you did which is very inspiring because you pushed yourself harder to do better and got to where you are today. Also as a critic, I feel like you were repeating too much on the second body paragraph. I feel like you could make your sentences with more detail and thoroughly explained.
I really liked the transition in your essay and found it really smooth. There was a lot of character development and you included a lot of details. Something you can improve on is essay organization because there were a lot of short sentences and you can make more paragraphs.
I’d say this is a decent essay, meaning there is room to improve. I feel like you added details that didn’t have to be there while also leaving out some that could’ve helped to enhance your story.
I really liked that you didn’t give up after you did not pass the test. there are some part where details was clear to understand. I want to know what did you learn from this experience, so that part could be your conclusion.