Growing up, I never really paid all that much attention to the fact that as a family, we were different. My father’s family are several generations back Americans. He grew up in suburban America. But my mother and her family moved here from the Ukraine before I was born. When I was little, my grandma and mother spoke Russian to me at home but once I started school, I spoke only English and ended up forgetting all my Russian. I didn’t ever really think about Ukraine or Russia, or that I live between two different worlds. We speak English at home. We eat at regular restaurants in Brooklyn. We watch regular American movies just like everyone else.
But as I grew older, I began to realize that the world events outside of my little world do affect me. This realization especially began when I was a junior in high school, right around when the war between Ukraine and Russia began. This war that at first seemed so far away, somewhere in Eastern Europe, affected my family greatly. This was because, as a child, my mom lived in Ukraine up until she was 18 and then came here to start her new life.
It didn’t take long before to see results from this war. Ukraine getting bombed, innocent civilians being killed, homes destroyed, and so much more. It didn’t take long for this to start to take a toll on us, especially my mom. Because this was her home, this was where she grew up, this is where she made most of her childhood memories from, and is now being single handedly destroyed by Russia’s corrupt president, Vladimir Putin. All of a sudden, my all-American quiet life, was “invaded” by constant news in different language and my family getting involved with different organizations to volunteer to assist Ukrainian refugees.
WOW — You are a good writer, and you have chosen a very interesting topic. I am eager to see how you develop your story. Keep up the good writing work! Have you made an appointment to work on this with the tutors?
I think your focus is your two different worlds colliding: Your quiet American life and the Ukrainian family world. How will you SHOW me this collision of worlds? What events move your story forward? Where are you going with this story? How have you learned to deal with these two worlds? How have you come to understand your identity coming from your two cultures?
WORK ON:
1. Choose a few places that would make good scenes
2. Include some places where Dialogue creates Theatre of the Mind.
3. THINK THE 5W’s.
WORKING OUTLINE?
I. My early life of blended American and Ukrainian worlds.
II. The invasion of my quiet American life
III. Next events???
TITLE: Colliding Worlds (just a suggestion)
Growing up, I never really paid all that much attention to the fact that as a family, we were different. My father’s family are several generations back Americans. He grew up in suburban America. But my mother and her family moved here from the Ukraine before I was born. When I was little, my grandma and mother spoke Russian to me at home but once I started school, I spoke only English and ended up forgetting all my Russian. I didn’t ever really think about Ukraine or Russia, or that I live between two different worlds. We speak English at home. We eat at regular restaurants in Brooklyn. We watch regular American movies just like everyone else. [excellent CSD here – I understand your blended world of two cultures in your early life and how the Russian Ukrainian world subsided]
But as I grew older, I began to realize that the world events outside of my little world do affect me. This realization especially began when I was a junior in high school, [WHAT year?] right around when the war between Ukraine and Russia began. This war that at first seemed so far away, somewhere in Eastern Europe, affected my family greatly. This was because, as a child, my mom lived in Ukraine up until she was 18 and then came here to start her new life. [another excellent paragraph that gives clear explanation of that distant world coming back into your life again]
It didn’t take long before to see results from this war. Ukraine getting bombed, innocent civilians being killed, homes destroyed, and so much more. It didn’t take long for this to start to take a toll on us, especially my mom. Because this was her home, this was where she grew up, this is where she made most of her childhood memories from, and is now being single handedly destroyed by Russia’s corrupt president, Vladimir Putin.
All of a sudden, my all-American quiet life, was “invaded” [great word here!] by constant news in different language and my family getting involved with different organizations to volunteer to assist Ukrainian refugees. [SHOW me your American family life being “invaded” — Is there a SCENE? Do you as a family watch the evening news – on tv? Online? – together in different languages? WHERE –Kitchen, living room? WHO – what family members are here watching news? OR give me details CSD describing how different family members volunteer with Ukrainian organizations? WHAT is the best scene from your memory that signified your quiet all-American world being “invaded”]
Next events that move your story forward?
We started discussing the war in Advisory or History class.
SCENE OF advisory class when we discussed the war. SHOW ME that you are taking more initiative and participating more (DESCRIBE) SHOW me that class discussion.
Mr. Shrea said,
Because i felt I knew more than the others students. I said, “Millions people are dying there. My cousin ..
The other students were shocked. ”
Random expressions of shock from the students…