“Okay class, now I’m gonna call you individually and you have to show me what you have so far”. This was said by my music teacher, who thought was very admirable. I looked up to him throughout my learning of music. It comes to my turn “Okay now Amit lets hear.” he said as he turned in front of me. As I began to play what I’d been practicing all week he cut me off and then started, “What are you playing? This is not what I assigned to you to practice. How are you even in music if you can’t play single instrument correctly.” Me just staying quiet looking at him in disturb he continues to ask the class if I should be in the class. Because he is much older than everyone in the class and the kids fear him, they all say yes.
The rest of the class felt like a blur after that moment, my ears ringing with the sound of my teacher’s words. I kept my head down, staring at the sheet music, though none of it made sense anymore. My hands were still resting on the instrument, but I couldn’t bring myself to play another note. Every part of me wanted to disappear, to shrink so small that no one could see me. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it stayed there, tight and heavy. I could feel the weight of everyone’s eyes on me, even though they weren’t looking anymore at least not directly. It was like the room had shifted, and I was the odd one out, the person who didn’t belong. As the lesson continued, my mind drifted away, the music fading into the background as I sank deeper into my own embarrassment, wondering if maybe they were all right. Maybe I didn’t belong in that room.
FIX TITLE !!!!
ALL you have submitted for three HWS in a row is the same events but NOT revised with my comments.
You need to use my comments and sugestions from the VERY FIRST TIME you submitted this in HW3 Mentor Quote on Sept 5.
That was the best version and you need to use my comments and REVISE from that version.
Go back to MENTOR QUOTE — AMIT (the HW submitted Sept 5) — Again that one is the BEST version.
https://openlab.citytech.cuny.edu/lwu-eng1101d193-fa2024/2024/09/05/mentor-quote-amit-darmalingum/
I made comments to help you improve that version. Revise that.
THen get your next events planned and go on. WE will be writing onwards in class next week.
You have good potential for a good story, but you need to pay attention to teacher comments.
WORK WITH A TUTOR!
OK I have reread both the older HW 3 Mentor Q and this HW 6 what you call your OPening.
I think both are good BUT — you need to combine both HWs re order to form one opening that flows. Read the MEntor Quote writing prompt from the Unit One Assignment. It says to START WITH THE MENTOR QUOTE.
You need to: