It’s my senior year of high school. After a long first 3 periods of the day, I walk into my 4th period weight training class. Rock music is blasting, iron is being pumped, always a good environment in there. The class teacher Mr. Forthofer on the bench press, 150 pounds on each side going until absolute failure. He finishes his set and comes to greet me, at the time an undisciplined kid who often skipped class and had little to no motivation. “Hey G you watched the fights over the weekend” he yelled unknowingly after just hitting a hard set. We started to talk about UFC 295 which had happened just two days ago. Alex Pereira hit Jiri Prochazka with a vicious left hook to bring the fight to an end. Little did I know the conversation we were about to have would change my life.
Speaking to my teacher who was an ex high level college wrestler and state ranked mma fighter was always a motivating experience. “You don’t know the power that comes from a heavy puncher like Alex Pereira” he told me, in which I really didn’t. He pulled out his phone and showed me some of his highlights on his style. I was amused watching it. He then surprised with an unexpected question. “Ever thought about training before?” That hit me, Ive always wanted to but never thought it was worth it. That was the exact day that I left school, hit up a friend who always had the same mindset as me when it comes to training.
Hey Geraldo! This is an amazing beginning opening. To help with your first paragraph you could’ve named the high school you went to to give CSD. I had a similar thing happen to me when I was asked to train taekwondo with a friend and I was very interested like you were in MMA. You did give a lot of CSD but it didn’t really build a scene. If you added more dialogue to the beginning paragraph you could have continued your conversation with your teacher. But It’s a great start to your future story.
As A Combat sports advocate, I like that this is centered around that. I feel like there could be a little more build-up though overall I would like to read this
Letâs turn the conversation into clear dialogue with proper formatting:
âHey G you watched the fights over the weekend? â Mr. Forthofer yelled unknowingly[WHY unknowingly?] after just hitting a hard set.
[SHOW exact words here. After all you tell me that this conversation is so important that it âchanged your lifeâ] We started to talk about UFC 295 which had happened just two days ago. Alex Pereira hit Jiri Prochazka with a vicious left hook to bring the fight to an end. Little did I know the conversation we were about to have would change my life.
OK â going forward, WHAT are the events that will SHOW that weight training led to MThai and this SAVED your school life? Remember Colin Powell didnât just write about ROTC, he showed how it made his college life better. This is an EDUCATION NARRATIVE assignment.