UPDATE (w/my feedback):
I’m glad to see you getting some reads and feedback on this draft—it’s a really, really good draft, and I’m looking forward to seeing how you expand on it. I also really hope that other students read it for inspiration because of how good I think it is. There’s obviously a good deal of room for improvement and expansion, and thus I’ve posted here my feedback in hopes that other students can access this as well. None of it is personal and there’s obviously no grade, so I assume this is ok–let me know if not, though, and I can take it down.
NOTE: to see my comments on the highlit sections of the PDF, you may have to download it and open it in a PDF reader on your device. To download, click the down arrow in the bottom right corner of the embedded PDF frame.
To summarize a couple big points of feedback (in addition to my comments on the draft): I agree with Brittny that we don’t need the opening sentence of reflection and can just begin with sentence two. I also totally agree with Shanice that there could be an expansion on the last line of reflection/”take-away”: what does learning to conform to someone else’s wishes have to do with learning content in school? It occurs to me that while you tell us you ended up doing well in the class, you do not mention any of the content you learned in it. Note that I am not suggesting that you should include content you learned in the class: my point is that maybe the fact that you haven’t mentioned much in the way of course content is a way of telling the reader that while you managed to get a good grade, Jeremy’s way of interacting with you didn’t necessarily help you absorb the content of the class. What do you think?
My own big picture thought is that you could continue expanding on Jeremy’s manner of communicating (or not communicating) with you as it relates to your ability (or inability) to learn from him. I think that this is the underlying theme/conflict in this draft that could be elaborated on–and have made a couple highlights/notes on the draft where this theme could be opened up.