Composition 1
The OpenLab is an open-source, digital platform designed to support teaching and learning at City Tech (New York City College of Technology), and to promote student and faculty engagement in the intellectual and social life of the college community.
Hi Tessaya,
I really enjoyed reading your essay, I thought it was very cute the way you were explaining different stages of your pregnancy that you experienced. Your essay was very informative and descriptive which helped make it feel realistic and personal. I liked how you shared the connection that you started developing with your baby as time grew on in your pregnancy. One suggestion that I have is to maybe reword or change the ending because not all women are lucky enough to be able to experience pregnancy so it may offend some readers.
While reading your essay, I gained reassurance because eventually I would want to have a child but I am terrified of the pain. I like how you included your feelings from before you found out that you were pregnant and how the feelings changed as you realized you are bringing life into the world. The essay kept me interested and I wanted to continue reading until the end. Also I liked how you included the metaphor “fish swum to my egg” which created some humor in the essay.
While hearing you read your essay to the class it made me want to experience having a child sometime in the future. I’ve always been scared about it because it makes me anxious thinking just thinking about bringing a human into this world. I was very entertained, you used very good details to describe your experience . I actually wanted to hear more about it because of how interesting I found it. I also found it funny.
Hey Tessaya,
Upon hearing you read your essay aloud in class, one particular thing I enjoyed was how you were able to make us, as listeners, feel your journey throughout your whole experience of pregnancy. For instance, you talked about the little moments that occurred with you and your soon-to-be girl, from her liking of you eating Mexican foods such as tacos, to her enjoying you singing Monica while you’re in the shower, to her not liking when you put the flash on her due to her light sensitivity. The way how you incorporated humor throughout the whole essay was really entertaining but still captivating. I believe there was one instance where you had included the fear that was faced when your boyfriend had to tell his parents; my only suggestion for next time would be to include what those feelings were not only for him, but for you as well, so we as listeners and readers could know as much emotions and feelings that occur when finding out that a partner becomes pregnant.
Hi Tessaya!
Thank you for sharing your honest and open essay in last week’s class. It was very entertaining to hear your excitement and nervousness surrounding motherhood. I can feel your emotions through your words, and you wrote descriptively to the point of I was engaged and eager to see what was to happen next. Your storytelling skills allow readers to feel what you’re feeling through the text, and I couldn’t help but also be happy or anxious with you. The only suggestion I could give is perhaps extending the title or being more clear of the theme in the title. Reproduction does play a part in your story, but doesn’t exactly represent the true gem that makes your story special. ‘A Mother’s Love’ or something cheesy could be an idea, although I’m sure you’ll figure out what works best for your paper.
Hello Tessaya,
First of all, congratulations on your soon to come baby, and on writing such an honest and functional piece. I personally find that when writers approach touchy subjects like pregnancy with brutal honesty, it tends to add an uncomfortable heaviness to their writing, but that is not the case with yours. You managed to speak frankly throughout the essay, all while maintaining a light hearted mood that even distracts the reader from the seriousness of the topic. Your voice is prominent throughout the essay, and the progression of your emotions are clear to me each step of the way. As I read, I had no choice but to enjoy the emotional rollercoaster you took me on as you progressed from the anxiousness of conceiving, all the way down to the magnificence of sharing life with your child. Once again, you have written a lovely piece.
The suggestion I could offer -besides developing a more fitting title- would be to expound more on how your feeling or idea of love has changed with the introduction of your child. From the beginning you built up excitement for your child, and so now that you she’s here, what has changed? You did mention some cute moments you have with here like when she reacts to light, or music, but you also suggested that her presence brought about more that just a physical change. It also had an emotional/mental influence on how you think and feel. I would like to hear more about that.
To be honest when I read Tessaya’s first paragraph of the essay, I got a little scared that she would probably be in huge trouble. Then after reading couple of her paragraph I realized that when someone gets pregnant for the first time it is an intense moment. I realized that it is a mixture of feelings of scared,worried,surprised,happy,and proud at the same time. When I was reading her emotions in the beginning I thought she would end this with abortion because she seems very scared and worried that was pregnant. Later after reading her essay I understood that being pregnant for the first time is difficult to act and feel like normal. Then I saw how much much proude and happy she was about her baby. In her essay there was a lot twist and humor. Overall it was a very beautiful and exciting essay to read.
Hi Tessaya,
Again Congratulations 🙂 ! That honestly is so exciting becoming a mom! I can’t wait for the time and reading your essay you really walked me through the steps and how you were feeling throughout this huge milestone. Like i said in class you’re introduction was so captivating I was intrigued in wanting to hear more. Your style of writing is so whimsical “Fish and egg” , “My little plant” very fun style of writing. I think you should also talk about how you’re coping a full time student all while being pregnant and a soon to be mom.
I look forward in reading your final draft.
Hi Tessaya,
This essay is so raw and unfiltered which is why I think it’s so attractive to read about. I thought that you gave a good insight into your story and overall had a genuine feeling to it. My insight into this article is that it felt so refreshing reading something totally new and different than what I’m used to. From the reading, I learned that pregnancy is one of the most painful experiences in life, as a woman, but on the other hand, those 9 months create a special bond for the mom and baby that could never be described in any other way. Another thing I’ll say in response to the essay is that the title “reproduction”, was a little too simple for the storytelling. If anything maybe you should think about improving that. Thank you.