There were many events that completely shifted my view on education and school, but the number one factor was social media. The constant exposure to how hated school was, waking up to go to school, growing old and dealing with more responsibility made me assimilate with how everyone else thought towards school. Eventually, I grew a strong distaste waking up every morning for school only to feel fatigued and lazy. Every single day just felt the same and it was exactly the same, waking up every morning for school, go home and do the work assigned to me that’s due whenever, shower, sleep, and repeat. The constant testing and being forced to socialize with other people massively increased my distaste towards the environment. The fact that I’m in college now and looking back at high school, it makes me feel like it was the easiest thing to go through while I know back then I was stressing out insanely. I messed up my first year by never going, cutting, and just being rebellious but eventually that bit me in the ass. Failing my first year dropped my GPA to below three and damaged my chances of getting into John Jay, which was my dream choice, that I got denied to. I’ve always considered myself to be an introvert and not be that open, and I still am that way. I will push aside any social incapability I have to actually be social and make the first move when needed, but I will not go out of my way. Being exposed to social media really made me follow how everyone else thought towards school, but eventually I became open-minded about education and school, and still, my opinion was still the same. All the testing seems pointless to me and it’s primarily a test towards your own intelligence.
I would concur that my intelligence is insulted if I were to get a bad grade on a test or something, when in reality, I know I’m more educated in other areas. My forte is primarily writing, reading, debating, history, etc. However, with math, it’s like I’m completely a brick wall and I’m incapable of solving anything. Basic math is a given and you learn in back in elementary, but excelling in math is something I’m completely incapable of doing. I was to be put in honors for a government class back in my senior year of high school but I was too lazy to even talk to my counselor on how I was recommended by my teacher to be put in it. Everybody will either have the same opinion as you do towards school, or a completely different one which is alien. Either having a distaste for school is more known and popularized or it’s actually a wide-spread opinion amongst the youth. Finally having a small schedule for my senior year really made me careless towards actually putting in the effort for my classes. After being accepted into a college and knowing I’d be graduating guaranteed, I just didn’t see the point of actually caring. I would even leave my third period class, which was my last class in my schedule, just to work a morning shift at my former job, that’s how I knew my former job was more of a priority than a gym class I knew I was guaranteed to pass.
I never really understood the concept of regents, as New York is the only state to have them. I questioned if it’s only to test a student’s intelligence or categorize students, and to this day I still don’t understand it. It’s the least of my worries now as I’m in college and have other things to worry about. College has a whole new esque which I actually really enjoy in comparison to high school. You have more responsibility, which can be a con to others, but you have free reign to do what you want with your time. I’m responsible to show up to my classes and pass these classes to move onto the next year and fulfill my major and not having “big brother” constantly watching your every move is relaxing. Finally turning eighteen has its wonderful perks of being an adult and actually living life, and the majority of my youth I’ve always fantasized how adult life would be and would I be ready for it. I’ve always felt like my mentality was older than my age and it was a constant struggle for me. College feels a lot smoother than high school and I cherish that completely and I have high hopes for college than I have ever had for high school.
