Final portfolio

Unit 1- Mija: a Love Language

As soon as I get home, I strip myself of any trace of the outside and switch into something comfortable. After a tiring day at school, I just want to lay down.  I throw myself on the couch in the living room and let out a deep sigh. Almost out of habit, I start checking social media on my phone. I can feel my mother’s eyes on me. She’s sitting on the opposite side of the couch, with a massive cup of coffee. My eyes meet her piercing red, wrinkled eyes under her furrowed eyebrows. “She must have had a long day too”, I think to myself . “¿Tienes hambre, mija?” she asks me. “¿Qué hay de comer?” I hesitate. She gets up, makes her way into the kitchen. As I watch her prepare a bowl for me, my stomach rumbles. The hunger I didn’t know I had, is now overwhelming. I meet her at the dinner table as she sets the bowl in front of me. I look at the steam floating from my bowl and I look back at her to say “thank you” with a small smile. She knew exactly what I needed. 

I’m one of the lucky ones. With their green cards my parents were able to find less straining work, as a chef and domestic worker. Don’t get me wrong, our life wasn’t easy but it was enough to make a family of 6 feel secure. Despite rarely being home and missing a lot of school events,(which was basically our entire life at that age ),my parents did what they could to be there for us. I didn’t always feel this way. For a long time, I held a lot of resentment towards them for not being around. My parents aren’t exactly affectionate. The only memory I have of getting hugged by them as an adult, was on new years at midnight, at a family party. They will rarely utter the words “Te quiero”  but I have it written in a few Christmas cards. The hardships they have faced and face everyday as Mexicans in America, have made them tough. On top of this, living in a tiny pueblo in the middle of el campo growing up, my parents and their parents were too busy working and worrying to learn to be emotionally available. Instead of being angry for what we lack, I have to remind myself to be grateful for what we have. They were working all the time to make sure I didn’t have to worry about money when I got older. Now that I’m older, I know to pay attention to the little things. Such as, the delicious home cooked meals and the silent “I see you. I love you. You are a part of me. I’m proud of how far we’ve come.” in the “mija” slipped at the end of a sentence.

Mija is a colloquial contraction of “Mi hija”, meaning my daughter. In Mexico, the word is used as a term of endearment towards younger women by an older figure, not necessarily related. My parents, extended family like aunts, uncles, grandparents, and even strangers refer to me as “mija” sometimes.  In English, there are words like honey and sweetheart but it’s usually strictly used by loved ones. Calling a stranger a word that means “ my daughter” means something more. There’s a closeness, and understanding made between the person using it and the person it refers to. It’s very welcoming and warm coming from anyone, even a stranger. 

As I walk through the Atlantic Barclay station, I pass by several  older women with their carts of cut up fruit, chocolates and churros. They stand there day after day, trying to make a living while countless people with hundreds of dollars worth of technology in their hands, walk by them without giving a glance. I can’t help thinking of my parents when I look at them. No papers to get a real paying job but still working hard. When I get to the  platform for the D train, I see the usual churro lady waiting at her usual spot but this time she has a small child holding chocolate bars with her. I remember selling chocolate in elementary school and my parents having to buy a lot of it because no one else would. My eyes linger at all her options with no sense of hunger at all. “How much for one?” I ask the boy. He gives a worried look to his mother and “ una dollar” she replies. I hand her a $20 and before she can reach in her fanny pack to gather my change, I walk away towards my train that is entering the platform. “Gracias mija” she says behind me. I scan the train cart for a seat but all that’s left are the middle seats everyone avoids. My legs are aching for a break. A short brown man and I are going towards the same empty corner seat. He is in worn down clothes, thick yellow worker boots, and he’s covered in dust. “He must be aching for a break too”, I think to myself.  I offer him my seat but he quickly declines and stands on the side of me. He takes off his bag and there’s a big thump as he sets it down. When the train arrives at his stop, I watch him grunt as he swings the bag bigger than him onto his back. I noticed he dropped a hat he had in his pocket, by my feet. I pick it up and as I put the hat in the man’s crusty swollen fingers, he says “thank you, mija”.

Mexicans in America, like most immigrants, have to sacrifice a lot to make it here. With poor English and sometimes no documentation papers, they don’t have many options to support their new life. They are extremely hard workers and they have no shame because that’s what they’ve known their whole life. This tenacity is passed on for generations. It’s as if being referred to as “mija” means “I see you. You and I are the same. I am proud of us. Thank you for existing.” Their dedication to work is for their loved ones and despite it keeping them busy, they find a way to extend their love in small ways. Despite my parents not knowing how to be there for me the way I wanted them to, they have their own methods of love. All I needed to do was meet them halfway. Relaxing and self-care isn’t something that comes easy to hard workers. They need a loved one or sometimes even a stranger to lend some extra kindness.

Unit 2- Womanly Pains

Lysol is currently used to clean floors, stovetops, toilets. In the 1930’s women were pressured and shamed to douche with Lysol to eliminate odor and bacteria. Similarly, Quest powder deodorant was marketed to women for the same reasons which gave women cervical cancer. Solutions to problems created by misogynistic views on women’s reproductive health created more problems for women because they were made under a male bias.  This bias and lack of knowledge on female anatomy, led to stigmas surrounding very real reproductive health disorders and it has a lasting effect even today.

Women aren’t taken seriously for their reports of pain leaving them misdiagnosed and untreated. This has been happening for years and continues today despite our new understanding of the biological processes women experience. The only way to fix this problem is if you at home listen, believe, and support your fellow women.

The word ‘hysteria’ stems from the Greek word hystera, which means ‘uterus’. Due to male classical thinkers and physicians of the 19th and 20th century, Hysteria became a medical diagnosis for an assortment of complaints made by women, including bad moods, menstrual pain, and even seizures. According to Anouchka Grose, psychoanalysis and writer, Hippocrates, Galen, and Avicenna all believed the cause of Hysteria to be sexual dissatisfactions. Hippocrates believed if a woman hadn’t been having sex, her womb would dry out, becoming lighter and allowing it to float around the body.  Alternatively, Plato believed hysteria was caused by the mourning womb, which was sad when it wasn’t carrying a child. Avicenna suggested that the best cure to hysteria is an orgasm done by either the husband or a doctor because an orgasm brought by the woman herself makes the symptoms worse. Other treatments included electroshock therapy, exorcisms, and experimental drug doses. Hysterical women were prescribed months-long bed rest with no visits from friends and family and absolutely no mentally strenuous activities, such as reading and writing. It wasn’t uncommon for extreme cases to be admitted into insane asylums or be burned at the stake. At this time there were no female doctors. In fact it is no surprise that the peak of hysteria diagnosis was during the time women were seeking higher education. Women didn’t have the credibility to speak on their own bodies. They had to rely on men with their biases to treat them. This led to a belief that there was something inherently defective with women, further discrediting them. This is a basis for the stereotypes and stigmas women deal with today.

In 1949, The Journal of Clinical Investigation asked the question, “women actually experience pain in childbirth, or are they merely reacting hysterically to a stressful situation?”. Using pain measurements normalized on male subjects, they concluded that childbirth is painful. During the ‘natural childbirth’ movement  of the 1970s, there was still controversy as to why women felt pain during labor. According to Elizabeth Barnes, professor of philosophy at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, Some researchers suggested factors such as her closeness with her partner, his role in the delivery process, and her emotional stability during pregnancy determined how much pain a woman felt. Women were assured that birth should be enjoyable, if only they could just calm down. She says “Women’s pain, it seems, is hysterical until proven otherwise.” Current scientific research considers whether women’s emotions are a primary cause of the outcomes in the treatment of breast cancer, including pain during and after treatment. She says ”The problem is not that we’re interested in the psychological dimensions of breast cancer pain, but that we’re so much more interested in the psychology of breast cancer than in the psychology of testicular cancer or liver cancer. In just the same way, in the 1970s, we were interested in ‘natural’ childbirth but not interested in ‘natural’ kidney stone passage – or in researching the extent to which men’s emotional stability or closeness with their wives mediated their kidney stone pain. Society seems so much more concerned with the role of emotions when women’s health – and women’s pain – is at issue.”

 In two studies published in Health psychology,  doctors were given identical case descriptions for  hypothetical patients, a 48-year-old man and a 58-year-old woman. They had the same objective probability of a heart attack. In the first case, the patients were described as having chest pain, shortness of breath and an irregular heartbeat. The majority of doctors suggested a heart attack diagnosis for both. In the second case, the patients were described with the same physical symptoms, but also experiencing stress. Stress raises the likelihood of a heart attack, regardless of gender. But while the majority of doctors still suggested heart attack for the male patient, a mere 17 per cent suggested it for the female patient. only 30 % suggested cardiology referral, compared with 81% for the male patient. Barnes says “Mentioning psychological factors seems to create a kind of gestalt shift when women are under consideration. Once we start talking about women’s emotions, it’s hard not to summon the spectre of hysteria.”

According to Jean Hailes for women’s health, a national nonprofit organization aimed to improving women’s health, premenstrual syndrome (PMS)  refers  to a wide range of physical and emotional symptoms experienced during the time leading up to a period and the related PMDD ( premenstrual dysphoric disorder) refers to specifically debilitating mood or psychological symptoms that interfere with daily lives. 90% of menstruating women experience at least one PMS symptom most months and 50% of women experience several symptoms each month. Up to 8% of menstruating women experience PMDD on top of physical symptoms. Endometriosis affects 1 in 10 women of reproductive age, with an estimated 176 million women worldwide having the condition. Keep in mind, these numbers only account for cisgender women that menstruate, leaving out large groups of people. Cara E. Jones, feminist philosopher, argues that “not all endo bodies are female bodies, nor are they necessarily even menstruating bodies: endometriosis has been found in infants, postmenopausal bodies, those who have had hysterectomies, and transgender men”. These disorders are way more common than we think and I didn’t even get into cervical cancer, PCOS, the other less common reproductive health disorders, and chronic pain unrelated to the reproductive organs.

A study of gender bias in health care from  Pain Research and Management, states “compared to men, women have more pain, and it is more accepted for women to show pain, and more women are diagnosed with chronic pain syndromes.” However, “women, compared to men, received less effective pain relief, less pain medication with opioids, more antidepressants, and got more mental health referrals”. Women report more pain than men but are given less adequate treatment, proving they aren’t taken seriously. There is a mistrust between a healthcare provider and a female patient because of the gendered stereotype that women are overly emotional and over complain. Real physical symptoms are often too quickly dismissed as psychic manifestations of stress, resulting in the undertreatment of women or a gap between men and women in healthcare. This is not only dangerous but unfair and wrong.

The pain of primary dysmenorrhea is caused mostly by prostaglandins. Prostaglandins are released from the lining of the uterus during menstruation and they cause the uterus to contract. Prostaglandins are also algesic substances, meaning they prime the nervous system for pain (or heighten pain). Prostaglandins also bring the joy of nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea that most women get with their periods. In 2016, John Guillebaud, professor of reproductive health at University College London, tells Quartz that  cramping pain is “almost as bad as having a heart attack.” However, Dr Jen Gunter, OB/GYN, pain medicine physician, and blogger, says “ if you need an analogy to describe period pain, use labor or cutting your finger off without an anesthetic. A heart attack is often not painful or only mildly painful, especially for women, so for me that analogy just doesn’t cut it.”

To this day, scientists and doctors don’t really understand if there’s a difference in the way men and women register pain. What we do know is that biologically, women feel more pain and  when women report pain it is usually followed up with questions concerning psychological behaviors. This not only discredits women but also the mentally ill. Pain is pain and since it is very common for women to feel it, why are people doubting it? Dismissing women because they are women is dangerous. It can lead to mistrust with doctors and with themselves. If a doctor cant help them, they fail to take care of themselves leading to further distress that society already blames them for. They build resentment and shame towards a totally natural thing, forced to live with pain they shouldn’t have to and that they feel they can’t talk about. It is important that these cycles are broken.  Let women be emotional and sensitive if that’s what they are but dont use it against them when they are being an inconvenience to you. We must believe women and sympathize with them.

Barnes, Elizabeth. The hysteria accusation. Aeon. June 2020. https://aeon.co/essays/womens-pain-it-seems-is-hysterical-until-proven-otherwise

Chiaramonte, G. R., & Friend, R. Medical students’ and residents’ gender bias in the diagnosis, treatment, and interpretation of coronary heart disease symptoms. Health Psychology, 2026

Gunter, Jen. Comparing period cramps with heart attacks isn’t useful or accurate. March 2018. https://drjengunter.com/2018/03/02/comparing-period-cramps-with-heart-attacks-isnt-useful-or-accurate/

JOHNSTON-ROBLEDO, Ingrid, and Joan C. CHRISLER. “The Menstrual Mark: Menstruation as Social Stigma: Positioning Periods: Menstruation in Social Context.” Sex Roles, vol. 68, no. 1-2, Springer, 2013, pp. 9–18.

Oregon Health & Science University. ”Women, Power, and Reproductive Healthcare.” Historical Collections and Archives. https://www.ohsu.edu/historical-collections-archives/women-power-and-reproductive-healthcare

Samulowitz, Anke, et al. “‘Brave Men’ and ‘Emotional Women’: A Theory-Guided Literature Review on Gender Bias in Health Care and Gendered Norms towards Patients with Chronic Pain.” Pain Research and Management, vol. 2018.

Unit 3- An Evolution of Feminine Hygiene Products

I planned to reveal perceptions and expectations the general public had of women’s reproductive health through the evolution of feminine hygiene product ads in slideshow form. I decided to make a video because it is the best way to see the differences and similarities of the ads through time. For the amount of advertisements I included, a video would be the most efficient way to get my message across. Keeping the ads in chronological order was integral to my video. Although I could not include all the menstrual product ads ever made or even the most important, I included  the most interesting and most repetitive I came across in my search.  I included ads that showed women are valued for their purity but are seen as inherently dirty because of their monthly cycles. Women are shamed and guilted into keeping their period discreet for the sake of men. This has not only put women in danger but can strip them of their confidence. I include ads that  show we have left certain patriarchal aspects behind but we still have a long way to go to give women the freedom and encouragement to be comfortable with their bodies  and to educate men to be kind and supportive to the women in their lives.  I tried to end the video on a positive note with the last ad. It is an example of how ad campaigns run by women can normalize periods and reverse the patriarchal stigmas put in place years ago.

While doing research for the video I learned that women reproductive rights have been controlled by men for centuries and we are still affected by that today. I specifically chose recent ads that show how the patriarchal stigmas enforced back then still linger in today’s society but manifest themselves slightly differently. Despite having better technology and more knowledge on female anatomy, women still get the short end of the stick when it comes to reproductive health care because these stereotypes and stigmas are ingrained into society. I’m a woman and this issue affects me directly. This is why I decided to make this video and include my own thoughts on the way feminine hygiene products are marketed to us. Marketing plays on society’s values and expectations. Unfortunately, the topic is kind of heavy and upsetting but I tried my best to add lighthearted bits throughout. My knowledge and skills on video editing, sound, and animation are very limited but I tried my best. I put the slideshow together on Canva and then recorded the audio on my phone. I Included a transcript in case my words aren’t clear.

At the end of the day, I’m glad to be a woman in the 21st century where we know more about women’s anatomy, anyone can be a doctor, and we have the technology where women can and should be comfortable despite our reproductive health cycles. More women are open about their periods and are comfortable speaking on the trials and tribulations surrounding periods. I believe more ads should encourage this comfortability because periods are a normal part of womanhood. And it not only affects women, it affects all menstruating bodies. Menstrual product ads should be accurate, educational, empowering, and relatable.

here is the link to the video

here is the link to the video transcript

Final Reflection

The first day of this semester was my first time ever on the city tech campus. It was very nerve- wracking. It took me back to my first day of high school. I picked out my outfit the day before and made sure to eat breakfast( a meal I often skipped during high school). I walked around like a lost puppy when I entered the industrial maze until I worked up the courage to ask a man with a shiny bald head for directions( an easy solution I would have avoided in high school). My heart would pound against my ribcage, looking to run and hide every time my name was called for attendance or when I had a thought I wanted to share. This continued for the first week or so of the semester. Although I was shy and anxious all my life, after Covid-19 I was way more socially anxious but dying to connect with people . Being in a school setting after almost 2 years of isolating myself away from the general public was terrifying but wonderful at the same time.  

I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with English classes. I enjoy writing and I love having open and honest discussions. However, when those things are attached to a deadline and a grade, it is not so fun. I realized this semester that I can get things done efficiently when under pressure but it leads to extreme burnout. Procrastination and self doubt are nasty habits I’m working on. I have to remind myself that a class is not that serious. I just have to show up and write. It does not have to be a masterpiece  or good or up to my standards( on the first try). The assignment just has to be done. I often lose my motivation and my mindset shifts negatively. I have to remind myself why I enjoy writing in the first place. I like being able to give people a glimpse into my brain and I like getting that from others. Writing is a way to see people and connect to them. English class gave me some of that connection and interaction with strangers that I so desperately longed for. It was a small class with a passionate teacher that genuinely cared about the students. I appreciated that Professor Hall wanted the students’ input in how the class went, the assignment we had, and just went out of her way to get to know her students. She did her best to give everyone a chance to have their voice heard and gave them the space to reveal little quirks about themselves as they shared. I think it was because of this that I was able to make friends in the class easily and my classmates were able to make friends with each other. This helped a lot with my motivation because I felt like I was actually learning. The feedback given by the teacher and the students coupled with the friendly environment made me want to do well on my final papers

In my Unit 1 paper, Mija: a Love Language, I said “the silent ‘I see you. I love you. You are a part of me. I’m proud of how far we’ve come.’ in the ‘mija’ slipped at the end of a sentence.” and “It’s as if being referred to as ‘mija/o’ means ‘I see you. You and I are the same. I am proud of us. Thank you for existing.”. When I read these lines months after writing it, I cringed and asked myself  “Is it really that deep?”. But then I also said “  My parents aren’t exactly affectionate. The only memory I have of getting hugged by them as an adult, was on new years at midnight, at a family party. They will rarely utter the words “Te amo”  but I have it written in a few Christmas cards.”. Although the first 2 lines may be corny and too lovey dovey for me, this paper was about being vulnerable. It was me trying to hear the words I wanted to hear in words I was given by my parents. I  finally was making sense of why they weren’t what I wanted them to be through the big picture of culture, which allowed me to accept them for who they are. This is why I enjoy writing, it teaches me things about myself that I didn’t even know were inside me.

In my Unit 2 paper, Womanly Pain, I wrote “On top of men making up solutions to problems they create with their misogynistic views, men also made up solutions to very real reproductive health disorders and it has a lasting effect even today.” I realize now that I may have a little resentment towards men. Although it’s completely fair, considering America’s patriarchal history, it has also given me a bias. I see writing as a way to improve myself. The writing process, drafts, editing,  revising helps me improve in a technical sense but revisiting my thoughts weeks or months later, gives me a glimpse into the brain of my past self. It gives me a way to self reflect without even knowing i’m doing it and in turn makes me more self aware and puts me on the path of becoming a better person.