The time is November 2016, when I first went to high school in America. It was a beautiful sunny day with a cold temperature. I was shocked to see that. It just has been a week since I came to this country and I was not used to this kind of weather at all. Where I am from in summer it is extremely hot and in winter it is less hot. So seeing cold weather on a sunny day was surprising. Two days later my uncle took me to the education board to get me admitted to a high school. I was not sure what is going to happen and started to feel anxious. I said to myself “why did not you watch any American TV shows in your entire life?” So that you could have a better understanding of the culture. And then the day comes, The first day at an American school. As I enter the building of my high school my anxiety got to me. I was terrified. So my first class begins. As I got to the class,  I sat in the middle row no longer anxious. I am more comfortable. I have never been so relieved after seeing some familiar faces. Not the faces I knew but they were the faces that looked similar to mine. As the class started the guy who was sitting next to me asked “are you Bengali?”. I said “yes”. (of course, I had to be in the wrong class!)

“Are you Bengali?” That might be the first thing that I thought of after seeing browns in hallways. The sentence might seem like it’s just a question about someone’s origin but it is not limited to that. It had a power to it. The invisible power to unite. To be able to trust just after getting the answer “Yes”. I remember a saying from our country, “Bengalis will take care of Bengalis in foreign countries.” Maybe it was rooted so deep in my subconscious mind I felt at ease after hearing it.

Now 5 years later I ask myself what does it mean to be Bengali. Can anyone just be Bengali if they speak the language? In my opinion, the answer is ‘No’.  You can learn a language but what makes you a part of the community is the culture. Is my white sister-in-law less Bengali than us just because her skin color is white?

Bangladeshis are the only people that had to fight and sacrifice their lives to be able to speak that language. Can you believe that! We had to fight for our freedom too. Many times! Crazy right? Maybe these are the reason why we feel so united and safe around us. Every year on the 21st of February we celebrate the Internation Mother Language day. Just saying that since we just celebrated like two days ago. What makes us Bengali would be these wonderful unique features. The unity that we built as a community and the unity that was passed down to us.

The last time I visited Bangladesh I met up with all my friends and one of them jokingly asked me, “Have you turned American yet?” I said, “No, not yet”. It is a complex feeling, to be honest.  It’s like having a wife at home and a secret lover. Where the Bengali culture is my wife, The culture I grew up in. And American culture is like my secret lover. Not going to lie I like this complex feeling. Let’s me enjoy both sides of the world.

When someone asks me “what are you?” I proudly say “I am Bengali”. I do not mean my race when I say I am Bengali rather I describe myself. What I mean is someone who is hospitable, hard-working, kind, has warm vibes, etc. I do not know how many of my readers know about The Rohingya issue in Myanmar. But Bangladesh let 1.1 million Rohingya inside of the country. Doing that as a developing Third World country with a population issue of our own is a huge deal. And these are the things that make us “Bengali”. These are the things that will and always be making us proud. The willingness to help someone in need.

I will never forget the first day of my school. Getting all the help from my fellow peers just by saying I’m Bengali. Looking back on that day I went from being anxious to excite just by saying I am Bengali. And I will keep on proudly telling that to whenever someone asks.

Â