revision 2 proposal

 

I plan to revise my paper from unit 2 portrait of a word, “Wallah”. I have never in my life wrote an actual poem before, but I feel like I can really go into depth about how us Muslims are supposed to use the word. I feel as if I put it into a poem it will have much more meaning rather than writing an essay about it. I want to make the new generation of Muslims actually understand how powerful “wallah” is and to not use the word in any little situation. The point I want to get across is that us Muslims need to start using the word religiously and not culturally.

Proposal

Mia Carter

 

I have chosen to revise the last paper. The new genre for this revision is music review paper. The first time I wrote it was a lyric review on J.coles song Middle Child. The audience I hope to reach is teenagers, adults and music artists. The so what of this revision is not all rap music is bad. There are some artists that rap about things that are happening in society and that is affecting everyone.

revision 2 proposal

I will revise the revision one paper. I plan on changing the way of bringing up the problem and talk more about the solution because i didnt give much detail on the solution in the revision essay. This time it will focus more on the things students can do that can help themselves instead of the listing all the problems thats occurring in the school. i want to write where I can reach out to the teenagers in school to try and help them give them advice to succeed.

Revision two proposal

I plan to revise my paper that we did for the unit 3 “Thank U, Next.” My original paper was a music review, where I reviewed the whole album and tried to convince people as to why they should listen to the album. For my revision, I plan to a video essay, where I analyze the music video to Ariana Grande’s song “Thank U, Next.” The music video has a lot of hidden messages and references that people might have not gotten when they first watched the video. With this, I plan to reach those who haven’t or who did watch the video but didn’t catch on. Some people may have thought that the video was a bit random and didn’t actually match what the song is actually talking about. But with this analytic video, it will be clear.

Revision 2 Proposal

I plan to revise my paper from unit 3 writing about art, “April and A Flower”. I also want to push myself out of my comfort zone and take the challenge of changing it into a song. I hope to reach teenagers around my age (17-24) that are feeling homesick and in need of motivation and strength. Teenagers that might have traveled across the world to pursue their dreams in exchange for a brighter future not only for themselves but for their family as well. I hope that by making it into a song, my audience will realize that they’re not alone. Every one of us goes through rough patches and we all have to make sacrifices but we have to remember that in every dark tunnel there will always be a ray of light shining at the end. I also wish that my audience will be able to feel and relate to the lyrics even if their situation is not exactly like mine.

Unit Three: Citations

Can Drake Make a Difference?

Deonarine Karan

Professor Carrie Hall

English 1101

April 30, 2019

 

Did you ever give back to the community or donated for a good cause? If you were financially stable would you give back to the people in need? When I outgrew clothes that I can’t wear anymore I would usually gather everyone’s clothes that they don’t wear and donate them to the less fortunate. When I was younger and didn’t use to finish my food my mom would use to tell me kids in Africa would love to have what you have. At the time I didn’t really know the meaning behind that statement but as time passed I see kids all around the world is not as fortunate as us and don’t really have the opportunities that we take for granted. Many teenagers in this generation care more about materialistic things like name brand clothing and shoes rather than what’s important in life which is happiness. I use to hate when my friends use the phrase “Money can’t buy happiness”, because they would say if you have money you could buy anything in the world you want. But as I matured and got older it’s true you could buy anything in the world but you can’t buy yourself happiness. I rather be happy than rich because money could take so far before you realize there’s more in life than just money.

In Drake’s album Scorpion, two songs stood out to me the first one was “God’s Plan” he had a million dollar budget for his music video rather than him buying fancy clothes, chains, and cars to show off he give back to the community that was a selfless act. Drake video for “God’s Plan” was the most important thing he have ever done in his career. Drake started off the video giving cash to people in the streets, giving toys to kids, surprises a family with a brand new car, and gave a student a scholarship to college. In one scene, he takes a hotel maid on a shopping spree and pays the bill for a store full of people buying groceries. Drake also donates money to a high school, gives a student a full ride to college, and signs a check to a women’s shelter. “Drake himself seems to be part of the gift, with shots of him sneaking up and bringing a fan to immediate tears presented just as lovingly as when he hands the same shocked fan a wad of money” (Puckett 2018), meeting your favorite artist can’t be compared to all the money in the world because they are someone you idolize. On my nephew six birthday we gathered some family members to buy food and refreshments to give out at church and at a elderly homes. Regular six year olds would rather receive money or toys on their birthdays but my nephew had everything you could possibly imagine. So showing him different values by giving back to people that don’t really have much would make him have a giving mindset from young.

Another song from Drake’s album Scorpion, that stood out to me was “Nice For What”, it was a song for women around the world no matter your size or color. Drake’s “Nice For What” song included Lauryn Hill song Ex-Factor which represents a person that has a strong but unpredictable influence. Drake also included Big Freeda which shows a strong message because she’s a transgender woman that experienced a lot of hatred. The video had strong and independent females like Olivia Wilde, Misty Copeland, Issa Rae, Jourdan Dunn, Tracee Ellis Ross, Tiffany Haddish, Yara Shahidi, Zoe Saldana, Letitia Wright, and Michelle Rodriguez. “Nice For What” supports many women moments like the #MeToo movement which is a moment against sexual harassment and assault. “So for Drake to have not only produced a song about an unbothered woman doing her and living her best life, it’s a shocker, but a welcome one” (Alese 2018), it always takes one person to make a change in this case it’s Drake showing respect to females that they deserve. “Workin’ hard, girl, everything paid for; First, last phone bill, car note, cable (Alese 2018),” showing woman’s work ethic by putting their responsibilities first. “That’s a real one in your reflection, without a follow, without a mention.” showing you don’t care about others opinions by having self appreciation. Especially in a generation where people go straight to social media like Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat to get people’s attention.

Drake releasing “God’s Plan” and “Nice For What” shows growth and change in the world that everyone needs to value what they have and treat women with the respect they deserve. It doesn’t matter how small you contribute to world it all starts somewhere with you. On the other hand, many artists in this generation degrades females rather than lifting them up and putting them on top where they belong. All females around the world should be empowered, after all we all came from a strong and independent women that we admire and love. We need more leaders like Drake to spread the message of giving and equality.

 

Works Cited:

Alese, Whitney. “The Deeper Meanings behind Drake’s ‘Nice For What.’” Medium, Medium, 11 Apr. 2018, medium.com/@TheReclaimed/the-deeper-meanings-behind-drakes-nice-for-what-f97a5d979f21.

Puckett, Lily. “5 Religious Leaders Weigh in on Drake’s Version of God’s Plan.” The FADER, The FADER, 27 Feb. 2018, www.thefader.com/2018/02/23/drake-gods-plan-religion-leaders/amp.

 

Revision Two: Proposal

Revision Two

I plan on revising my unit three essay because I like the meaning of “change” and I feel I could go deeper into the topic. I want to change my unit three essay into something I have never done before so I would be transitioning into a news article that informs and shows change that kids can make to help the world. I’m trying to reach out to my generation (ages 18-25)  in which we could all help in any way or form. I want my readers to see ways they could give back to their communities that wouldn’t take much of their time and wouldn’t cost much. At the end of my revision I want my audience to feel the sense of change I felt when I saw God’s Plan by Drake. God’s Plan helped me develop and grow my understanding that there’s so much more to life than fancy cars, clothes, and jewelry.

revision 2 proposal

I will revise the revision one paper “Guide to Success in School”. I intend to change the work from an academic essay to a brochure, for City Tech. The brochure will focus on being an academically successful student in City Tech and include information on the resources available to aid students: tutoring, assistance for students with learning disabilities and information on disability testing, financial aid services, child care, and various workshops available for practical skills outside of school (writing of resumes and cover letter, civil service information). The audience would be high school students that may attend City Tech. The “so what” would be letting the audience know all the resources available to help get through college successfully.