Throughout my internship, I have done nothing but strive for greatness. Going further beyond to be a reliable and valuable teammate, and devote all I could to ensure our project is as high quality as it can be. This drive to succeed and push our team to success has manifested in a myriad of ways. For instance, applying my presence and putting in work everyday despite the on paper time commitment of Tuesday – Thursday. Coming to every meeting with energy and drive to push further, even when I had to fight to find the fire to do that. Attending our individual team meetings, respecting team deadlines and overall team vision, and understanding that if we all hold our part of the ship we’ll have smooth sailing. And since the beginning, I’ve been praised for it. I have been known as the person who can be relied on for support and intuitive insight that can help multiple sectors of my team.
However, in doing so, I’ve also made some mistakes along the way. I’ve found myself overlooking the weight and gravity of what it truly means to work with a team. Realizing that, yes I have people to help me, but also understanding that there are eight other people that share ownership of this project alongside me. The project belongs to them just as much as it belongs to me. Throughout my experience in working on teams in Communication Design, I’ve been in countless scenarios where my teammates simply didn’t care about the work. They didn’t feel the need to put in work, to brainstorm and challenge ideas, all they wanted to do was skate off on other people’s work and attach their name to the spools of their success. I constantly had to overextend myself into the realm of my teammates’ work just to succeed in school. And unfortunately, the impact of those experiences bled into my teamwork throughout my internship.
As I’ve said before, I’m a strategist on our team. Of course, I felt overwhelmed while creating the strategy, reworking and pitching it forward to mods, founders and eventually the client. But after we got the strategy buy off from the client the majority of my work should have been done. It was done. But I couldn’t sit still, I didn’t feel comfortable working less than my other teammates, or not being able to influence the direction and execution of the PSA. I was scared. Afraid to let the overwhelming weight of creative responsibilities and duties fall into my teammates lap, despite it being their job to handle it. And that fear manifested in stretching myself endlessly too thin in several different directions. I took up the mantle in Art Direction, working on slide deck designs with the other ADs, concepting ideas based on the strategy. I have also extended myself into production, helping with the shot list, choreographing, directing and shooting of the PSA. While I’m sure my team appreciated my help, I was completely burning myself out. I wasn’t putting time into my part-time job, or as much effort into my summer classes, or a passion project I had been building. I was completely blurring the lines between working hard, and working needlessly.
On top of burning myself out, my pursuit of greatness led me to a mistake that really hurt the team. I had found myself at 3am working on the shotlist the night before the shoot , as I had done the night before as well with the producer. I had encountered a problem, our current script did not fit the 30 second parameter for our PSA. With little time before our shoot day and the responsibility of the team that I, myself, had mounted on my shoulders, I changed parts of the script to fit the time frame when needed to reach without consulting the copywriting team first. In the moment I didn’t see a problem with the changes, the PSA was still more or less the same, it was on strategy I just took out a few words here and added a few there. But here lies my error. I imposed myself as the person who would tackle a mountain of work that was supposed to be the responsibility of my entire team. And with that pressure to be relied upon, my lack of boundaries of my time, and my desire to exceed expectation, I had completely overlooked the countless hours my copywriting team had put in to make the script how it was. I had overlooked the meticulousness of their job and the fact that by changing the copy, I had not only changed the vibe and flow of the PSA, I had also robbed the copywriters from being able to take ownership over the project. And when they had realized the changes I had made, it was too late to go back.
I don’t want it to seem like my entire internship experience was just making grave mistakes and killing myself with work. I also learned a great deal about what it means to be a strategist, expanded my network into the advertising industry, and proved to myself that I am much more capable than I sometimes tell myself. However, the lessons that I feel have been the most telling, and most important to take away, have come from the previously highlighted mistakes. The failures that I have faced have taught me the importance of learning that sometimes good intentions can have bad impacts, and that over everything I must treat myself with the same respect as I treat my peers. I must set boundaries with my time and be realistic and candid with the expectations of my work and commitment. I must show others how to treat me by treating myself better. Opportunities will come and go, however, I cannot take advantage of myself in the pursuit of success.
