English 1101 Fall 2019 Section 413
Composition 1
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Police brutality indeed is a very talked about topic ,there have been numerous times where cops have gotten away with brutalizing civilians (Mainly African Americans).You went into depth profoundly on events that have happened over the past years of how police brutality came to light,which was very well done.What side to you take on this debate?
Added a question without really thinking about it :”What side of the debate are you on?”
Police Brutality is a very sensitive subject to others. Personally I understand how minorities could be afraid of cops when they are suppose to be there to serve and protect. I think this is a serious issue and I appreciate you writing about this subject. I like that you went through specific events of police brutality to prove that this is a real serious issue that needs to be dealt with. I agree with Roy by wanting your perspective in this situation. Great Work.
I enjoyed your writing because it focus on today’s issue, but I am confused by the number of death relating to police brutality, like where the number coming from,it would have been nicer if you had introduced the article first so the reader could know who came up with the number, there were reputation in the Counter argument. my question is during police brutality how is a person supposed to react?
Your essay about police brutality is very informal, the counter act sentnecs applied to your essay gives strength towards your claim one minor detail would be to try to connect police brutality to writing.
You exponentiation was good about Police Brutality and good job for that. Now let’s try to think about ho we can solve it. Try to explain are you really supporting the Police Brutality or not.
I believe that giving a bigger definition on what brutality is and more about what a police officer is supposed to do. I think that this would create a bigger impact on the reader and would also help the reader to sympathize even more with your writing.
Karla, I loved your essay and how you supported every event that happened over the past couple years till today. However, as the reader i do not know which side you are on; you just need to revise your essay but overall great job!
Firstly, I enjoyed reading your essay. Your essay was well put together, you had your intro, an argument with your first body paragraph, a counterclaim, and then your conclusion. But I think that another body paragraph can be added to strengthen the essay.
I really liked your essay, it talks about real life problems that is now being seen more, unfortunately. You had a few grammar mistakes, other than that your essay flowed smoothly. Your points were clear and so was your counterclaim, you had enough evidence to keep your essay going and making it interesting
Karla, I really liked your essay and how detailed it was. It was very informal. Something that you can do to help improve your essay or grab the readers attention is to express your opinion more about it, you should talk more about which side you on. Also something that would’ve made it better is writing like how a person that this is hope wing to should react or what they should do in this situation. Good job on your essay!
I think u wrote about a really good topic.Police brutality is a threat to our society.U talked about what impact police brutality has on our community and how people get affected from it so a good job on that.
the topic and claim is great but evidence wasn’t all there and you need that to have a solid claim and something to back it up with